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Needed a poo?

Postal workers discussion forum. Discuss the day to day life in a Blue Shirt.
Postie45
Posts: 2160
Joined: 21 Aug 2012, 23:05
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by Postie45 »

if its ok for Lineker to poo on the pitch in a world cup, its ok for you to nip behind a bush
LaggyBand
Posts: 1065
Joined: 29 Jun 2015, 14:07
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by LaggyBand »

In terms of job security, the safest thing to do in this unfortunate situation is soil yourself (thereby
avoiding any indecent exposure charge), return to office and explain to your line manager what has happened.

Be honest with your line manager and they will in return treat you with respect and dignity (their training is very good).
wacko74
EX ROYAL MAIL
Posts: 1572
Joined: 04 Apr 2009, 20:35
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by wacko74 »

Trail wrote:I was in Dublin with the (ex) missus and we were walking from some suburb of Dublin to Hoarth. I'd had about ten pints of Guinness the night before and a full Oirish breakfast that morning and I got caught short needing to s**t. I found a park and had a s**t behind a bush. The girl I was with had some tissues in her bag and so I used these to wipe.

Strange thing as well is later that day we walked to see Phil Lynott's grave and the lassie found herself caught short for a crap too. She ended up behind a bush in a relatively residential area having a s**t (no she wasn't a skay, she'd have just s**t in her pants if it wasn't for the bush).

Coincidence.

On delivery I always make sure I know exactly where the shitholes are and if I feel a stirring in the bowels I just drive to them.
You sound a delightful couple, what a shame you didn't stay together then you could have told your grandkids your romantic tale of courtship.
Trail
EX ROYAL MAIL
Posts: 162
Joined: 01 Dec 2016, 19:54
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by Trail »

wacko74 wrote:
Trail wrote:I was in Dublin with the (ex) missus and we were walking from some suburb of Dublin to Hoarth. I'd had about ten pints of Guinness the night before and a full Oirish breakfast that morning and I got caught short needing to s**t. I found a park and had a s**t behind a bush. The girl I was with had some tissues in her bag and so I used these to wipe.

Strange thing as well is later that day we walked to see Phil Lynott's grave and the lassie found herself caught short for a crap too. She ended up behind a bush in a relatively residential area having a s**t (no she wasn't a skay, she'd have just s**t in her pants if it wasn't for the bush).

Coincidence.

On delivery I always make sure I know exactly where the shitholes are and if I feel a stirring in the bowels I just drive to them.
You sound a delightful couple, what a shame you didn't stay together then you could have told your grandkids your romantic tale of courtship.
I wouldn't have children as I'm not a f***ing mug, mug.
crimson king
Posts: 783
Joined: 20 Aug 2017, 16:37
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by crimson king »

wacko74 wrote:
Trail wrote:I was in Dublin with the (ex) missus and we were walking from some suburb of Dublin to Hoarth. I'd had about ten pints of Guinness the night before and a full Oirish breakfast that morning and I got caught short needing to s**t. I found a park and had a s**t behind a bush. The girl I was with had some tissues in her bag and so I used these to wipe.

Strange thing as well is later that day we walked to see Phil Lynott's grave and the lassie found herself caught short for a crap too. She ended up behind a bush in a relatively residential area having a s**t (no she wasn't a skay, she'd have just s**t in her pants if it wasn't for the bush).

Coincidence.

On delivery I always make sure I know exactly where the shitholes are and if I feel a stirring in the bowels I just drive to them.
You sound a delightful couple, what a shame you didn't stay together then you could have told your grandkids your romantic tale of courtship.
Ha ha, they'd be a nightmare couple on that 70's game show, Mister & Mrs.

"Name something you have both done on the same day together that brings back a special, romantic memory?"

"Well, I think it'd have to be the time we went to visit Phil Lynott's grave and we both got short and had to take a s**t behind the bushes."

"Ahem, yes, ah, we'll be right back after this quick commercial break...."
Sooner or later, a beat dog bites.
k979aaa
Posts: 12578
Joined: 03 Sep 2007, 19:14
Gender: Male
Location: THE NORTH

Needed a poo?

Post by k979aaa »

Was a guy in our place who got sacked for pissing in a fish pond and he was no dwarf holding his rod at the time. :shock:
Trail
EX ROYAL MAIL
Posts: 162
Joined: 01 Dec 2016, 19:54
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by Trail »

crimson king wrote:
wacko74 wrote:
Trail wrote:I was in Dublin with the (ex) missus and we were walking from some suburb of Dublin to Hoarth. I'd had about ten pints of Guinness the night before and a full Oirish breakfast that morning and I got caught short needing to s**t. I found a park and had a s**t behind a bush. The girl I was with had some tissues in her bag and so I used these to wipe.

Strange thing as well is later that day we walked to see Phil Lynott's grave and the lassie found herself caught short for a crap too. She ended up behind a bush in a relatively residential area having a s**t (no she wasn't a skay, she'd have just s**t in her pants if it wasn't for the bush).

Coincidence.

On delivery I always make sure I know exactly where the shitholes are and if I feel a stirring in the bowels I just drive to them.
You sound a delightful couple, what a shame you didn't stay together then you could have told your grandkids your romantic tale of courtship.
Ha ha, they'd be a nightmare couple on that 70's game show, Mister & Mrs.

"Name something you have both done on the same day together that brings back a special, romantic memory?"

"Well, I think it'd have to be the time we went to visit Phil Lynott's grave and we both got short and had to take a s**t behind the bushes."

"Ahem, yes, ah, we'll be right back after this quick commercial break...."
Ever considered a career in comedy?

It'd go down as good as a nuclear bomb in Japan.
Brandy
EX ROYAL MAIL
Posts: 729
Joined: 12 Sep 2011, 21:03
Gender: Female

Needed a poo?

Post by Brandy »

LaggyBand wrote:In terms of job security, the safest thing to do in this unfortunate situation is soil yourself (thereby
avoiding any indecent exposure charge), return to office and explain to your line manager what has happened.

Be honest with your line manager and they will in return treat you with respect and dignity (their training is very good).
You could always give your pants to the manager! :shock:
crimson king
Posts: 783
Joined: 20 Aug 2017, 16:37
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by crimson king »

Trail wrote:
crimson king wrote:
wacko74 wrote:
Trail wrote:I was in Dublin with the (ex) missus and we were walking from some suburb of Dublin to Hoarth. I'd had about ten pints of Guinness the night before and a full Oirish breakfast that morning and I got caught short needing to s**t. I found a park and had a s**t behind a bush. The girl I was with had some tissues in her bag and so I used these to wipe.

Strange thing as well is later that day we walked to see Phil Lynott's grave and the lassie found herself caught short for a crap too. She ended up behind a bush in a relatively residential area having a s**t (no she wasn't a skay, she'd have just s**t in her pants if it wasn't for the bush).

Coincidence.

On delivery I always make sure I know exactly where the shitholes are and if I feel a stirring in the bowels I just drive to them.
You sound a delightful couple, what a shame you didn't stay together then you could have told your grandkids your romantic tale of courtship.
Ha ha, they'd be a nightmare couple on that 70's game show, Mister & Mrs.

"Name something you have both done on the same day together that brings back a special, romantic memory?"

"Well, I think it'd have to be the time we went to visit Phil Lynott's grave and we both got short and had to take a s**t behind the bushes."

"Ahem, yes, ah, we'll be right back after this quick commercial break...."
Ever considered a career in comedy?

It'd go down as good as a nuclear bomb in Japan.
Thank you :thumbup

Don't forget to grab a copy of my latest DVD from the foyer on your way out...
Sooner or later, a beat dog bites.
Trail
EX ROYAL MAIL
Posts: 162
Joined: 01 Dec 2016, 19:54
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by Trail »

crimson king wrote:
Trail wrote:
crimson king wrote:
wacko74 wrote:
Trail wrote:I was in Dublin with the (ex) missus and we were walking from some suburb of Dublin to Hoarth. I'd had about ten pints of Guinness the night before and a full Oirish breakfast that morning and I got caught short needing to s**t. I found a park and had a s**t behind a bush. The girl I was with had some tissues in her bag and so I used these to wipe.

Strange thing as well is later that day we walked to see Phil Lynott's grave and the lassie found herself caught short for a crap too. She ended up behind a bush in a relatively residential area having a s**t (no she wasn't a skay, she'd have just s**t in her pants if it wasn't for the bush).

Coincidence.

On delivery I always make sure I know exactly where the shitholes are and if I feel a stirring in the bowels I just drive to them.
You sound a delightful couple, what a shame you didn't stay together then you could have told your grandkids your romantic tale of courtship.
Ha ha, they'd be a nightmare couple on that 70's game show, Mister & Mrs.

"Name something you have both done on the same day together that brings back a special, romantic memory?"

"Well, I think it'd have to be the time we went to visit Phil Lynott's grave and we both got short and had to take a s**t behind the bushes."

"Ahem, yes, ah, we'll be right back after this quick commercial break...."
Ever considered a career in comedy?

It'd go down as good as a nuclear bomb in Japan.
Thank you :thumbup

Don't forget to grab a copy of my latest DVD from the foyer on your way out...
I'd rather have my fingernails pulled off.
crimson king
Posts: 783
Joined: 20 Aug 2017, 16:37
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by crimson king »

Trail wrote:
crimson king wrote:
Trail wrote:
crimson king wrote:
wacko74 wrote:
Trail wrote:I was in Dublin with the (ex) missus and we were walking from some suburb of Dublin to Hoarth. I'd had about ten pints of Guinness the night before and a full Oirish breakfast that morning and I got caught short needing to s**t. I found a park and had a s**t behind a bush. The girl I was with had some tissues in her bag and so I used these to wipe.

Strange thing as well is later that day we walked to see Phil Lynott's grave and the lassie found herself caught short for a crap too. She ended up behind a bush in a relatively residential area having a s**t (no she wasn't a skay, she'd have just s**t in her pants if it wasn't for the bush).

Coincidence.

On delivery I always make sure I know exactly where the shitholes are and if I feel a stirring in the bowels I just drive to them.
You sound a delightful couple, what a shame you didn't stay together then you could have told your grandkids your romantic tale of courtship.
Ha ha, they'd be a nightmare couple on that 70's game show, Mister & Mrs.

"Name something you have both done on the same day together that brings back a special, romantic memory?"

"Well, I think it'd have to be the time we went to visit Phil Lynott's grave and we both got short and had to take a s**t behind the bushes."

"Ahem, yes, ah, we'll be right back after this quick commercial break...."
Ever considered a career in comedy?

It'd go down as good as a nuclear bomb in Japan.
Thank you :thumbup

Don't forget to grab a copy of my latest DVD from the foyer on your way out...
I'd rather have my fingernails pulled off.
Are you okay? Do you need a hug?
Sooner or later, a beat dog bites.
Mick100
Posts: 275
Joined: 04 Feb 2016, 10:00
Gender: Male

Needed a poo?

Post by Mick100 »

Jump in the back of your van and have a crap In a tray or one of your bags if it's a case of shitting yourself at least no one will see you
norris9
Posts: 2696
Joined: 27 Feb 2019, 17:32
Gender: Female

Needed a poo?

Post by norris9 »

Mick100 wrote:Jump in the back of your van and have a crap In a tray or one of your bags if it's a case of shitting yourself at least no one will see you
Then your fellow Postie comes back from their loop and slides open the door. lol.
Brandy
EX ROYAL MAIL
Posts: 729
Joined: 12 Sep 2011, 21:03
Gender: Female

Needed a poo?

Post by Brandy »

:shock:
norris9 wrote:
Mick100 wrote:Jump in the back of your van and have a crap In a tray or one of your bags if it's a case of shitting yourself at least no one will see you
Then your fellow Postie comes back from their loop and slides open the door. lol.
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Interested-seeker
Posts: 442
Joined: 20 Feb 2017, 11:50
Gender: Female

Needed a poo?

Post by Interested-seeker »

I hope that some of you take handwash with you.