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A postie walks into an estate agents........

Postal workers discussion forum. Discuss the day to day life in a Blue Shirt.
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POSTMAN
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A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by POSTMAN »

...,sitting there are the workers,one gal,2 guys on 3 different desks.They look up and notice the postie but sit there in silence.
The cheerful postie,with a shoe box size packet in tow,says the routine "good afternoon" and kinda motions the packet with an out stretched arm and then says,looking at all 3 1 by 1,"who wants this then?"

There was a deadly silence Image

Realising that he had somehow stumbled into the abyss,the postie decided despite the danger involved ,to walk towards 1 of the estate agents,"what is it?" the estate agent said,"i dunno" the postie replied,"but it's for you lot".
The estate agent replied,"i know it's for us,but what is it".
At this point and what seemed an eternity Image Image the postie stood there deciding what to do.

Does he...

A: Say "Look here you fecking halfwit,how the feck do i know what it fecking is,i just deliver the s**t"

B: Say "Well i would tell ya but i left me fecking x-ray specs at home today,so it's pot fecking luck what it is"

C: Say "Are you some kinda twat,what's with you fecking lot,problem selling houses is it?"

D:Say "Well it's not valuable dude,i mean,if it was i'd a nicked the fecking thing,you know what us posties are like don't ya"

E:Say to the girl of the group,who's not really that hot but it's a laugh init "Look babe,i don't know what's in the packet,but if you play your cards right,i've got a special packet for you,know what i mean doll" And obviously do the wink thing.

F:Take a deep breath,hand the packet over to the 1st estate agent ,then leave without waiting for the 'thankyou' which didn't come anyway,and decide that next time you get something for the numnuts,just lamp it on the 1st desk you see.
I Wrote-During Covid-Which is still relevant now
It's good to get these types of threads, the ridiculous my manager said bollox, so we can reassure ourselves that while the world is falling apart, Royal Mail managers are still being the low-life C***S they have always been.
My BFF Clash
The daily grind of having to argue your case with an intellectual pigmy of a line manager is physically and emotionally draining.
Thorby Bislam
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Location: Desolation Row

Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by Thorby Bislam »

I'm guessing you took option F ?
Just spilt stain-remover down my shirt. Now how do I get that out?
Broxi51
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Joined: 30 Jul 2007, 19:04
Location: Scotland

Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by Broxi51 »

Thorby Bislam wrote:I'm guessing you took option F ?
but thought A-G simultaneously
The time has come to stop turning the other cheek, time to stop shaking our heads in bitter dismay, time to stop mumbling our angry words.
The time has come for union.
johnsouthwales
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by johnsouthwales »

tuts...some people eh....... with companies like that, they deserve to be on a banned list lolllllllllllllllllllllll :cuppa
and here comes avi cohen! oh i say! at the same end, he's got one back!!
dvbuk55
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by dvbuk55 »

g. I don't really know but it is for the young lady - it's not heavy enough for the batteries to be included.
Pat Ostman
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Location: In the Line Managers office being screwed over.

Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by Pat Ostman »

Must be lucky as my 'office girl' actually volunteered to take my package off me today! :nana

Around 8/10 on the hotness scale as well she was. Pity it wasn't a special delivery though.
:d'oh!
Run, rabbit run. Dig that hole, forget the sun.
And when at last the work is done. Don't sit down, it's time to dig another one
apple
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by apple »

stand in front of them fill a 739 card out leave that and f**k off
smokerjim
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Location: In a corner, thinking "I've picked a bad week to give up smoking..."

Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by smokerjim »

My SOP in any business is slap it down on a desk, preferably within sight of an employee, then bugger off sharpish.......but if I do get the "wait till I'M ready to sign" sh*t, I'll have to remember the fill out a 739 :Very Happy :Applause :Applause :Applause
I don't suppose your mouth bleeds every 28 days, does it?

Mail delivery; those that can, do, those that can't, MANAGE!
TeeferTiger
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by TeeferTiger »

I delivered a special yesterday to an estate agents, went to go thru the door but it was locked as they were all sat at the back of the office having a meeting. They looked at me like I was a piece of something they'd scrape off their shoe while I was stood there gesturing that I had something for them.

After looking at me blankly for about 30 seconds a woman eventually got off her arse and came to open the door with a right miserable look on her face. Signed for it in silence and then just shut the door and walked back off again...

Thanks!
Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?
bedfordrl
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Location: North East Hampshire

Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by bedfordrl »

When i am on the high street there are couple of banks that will sign for specials unless their money ,they then expect me to more or less wait my turn so i just write a P739 and walk out.
They complain and i do it again.
There is also a credit card company with fairly high security, when i am on the round that delivers to them i have to go through their entry rigamoral to get in and wait at the door.
More than three minutes and i am off,sod them i have other customers waiting.
k979aaa
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by k979aaa »

Aprilaydee wrote:I delivered a special yesterday to an estate agents, went to go thru the door but it was locked as they were all sat at the back of the office having a meeting. They looked at me like I was a piece of something they'd scrape off their shoe while I was stood there gesturing that I had something for them.

After looking at me blankly for about 30 seconds a woman eventually got off her arse and came to open the door with a right miserable look on her face. Signed for it in silence and then just shut the door and walked back off again...

Thanks!
The last one closed on mine after new year just shows how things are never certain in life nor work.
Stormproof
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by Stormproof »

bedfordrl wrote:When i am on the high street there are couple of banks that will sign for specials unless their money ,they then expect me to more or less wait my turn so i just write a P739 and walk out.
They complain and i do it again.
More than three minutes and i am off,sod them i have other customers waiting.
Same here, give the LM's there due they do tell the banks when they phone up to complain that we should'nt have to queue up, (i can't believe I said something in favour of the Lineo's, the sun must've got to me! :crazy: )
So keep on moving, moving, moving your feet
Keep on shuf-shuf-shuffling to this ghost dance beat
Just keep on walking down never ending streets


Illegitimi non carborundum
calpsy
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by calpsy »

I am a postie but am temp in another office doing driving duties which is all new to me ( well it was 3 months back )

1st week in the job one of the 3 schools phones up and complains that i had included mail for others in their mail . :roll:

Not really a massive deal is it .... give it to the janny to post or give it to me the next day for god sake .

I went in the next day to the most bitter looking b*tch youve ever seen . All she is is the receptionist . She lectures me about putting others mail in hers . I explain im new and the 3 schools are all next to each others in the frame and also some mail get stuck together and maybe that was what happened . :shock: She then goes on and on and on and i just said to her it must be great being perfect and how well she mustve done when she started her job with no mistakes at the beginning .

Now i go in and drop the mail on her desk and leave without even looking at her . Another woman says good morning to me whenever she is in the office with her and i make a point having a laugh with her in front of the devil b*tch .

My question is ......... WHAT THE F*CK IS HER PROBLEM ? ? Does it matter if there was ONE or a HUNDRED miss sorts in her mail ?? What the hell is it to her ??

Rant over :Applause
Spedley
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Joined: 16 Jul 2007, 17:32
Location: Warwickshire

Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by Spedley »

G) Ignore their stupidity and reply "there does not appear to be any return address" or "it's from ..."

I've used this on many occasion.
baldrick
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Re: A postie walks into an estate agents........

Post by baldrick »

Well they were probably bored, having nothing to do and were
just after a little entertainment. I'd have answered "It's a Parcel".