Picture perfect : Captions please

[luddite]

Manager; LOOK HARDER! it's been signed off by your rep!
Postie; oh f**k! Yep, I see it now.

[noggin1969]

M

[DDDJAM36]

Manager : " This is the customers doorstep where the magical happens "

Postie : " Ohh yeah , i can see that now "

[Jahpostie]

Manager: We're all about 162 now. Simon says... He had a premonition last night from a higher power. The company will be rebranded again to 162. The team is on board and now so are you. Every duty will now have 162 delivery points....

Postie: Err brilliant, is he on crack....?

Manager: No, we the team are now embracing a new culture of 162 where the employer is key - work, life balance is our priority. You will also get 162 days holiday a year. Can I get you a coffee?

Postie: Fucc this, you really are shape shifting lizards I'm outa here...

[Jahpostie]

Is there a prize for the best one? More lapsing maybe!

[yubin282]

Postie: "Can you f**k off I'm on my break"

[Sugar]

Manager: The computer clearly states you can do 162 packet drops an hour and you're not. What have you got to say for yourself?

Postie: Erm you're clearly talking out of your ar$e you overpaid incompetent imbecilic numbskull.

Manager: We're going to test you on sorting, prepping and loading your van to make sure you are up to standard.

Postie: How about coming out on delivery and showing me how it's done you overpaid incompetent imbecilic numbskull?

Manager walks off in a cold sweat at the thought of having to do some actual work whilst planning, and taking note, to have the exact same conversation in a couple of days time with the "unruly lazy" postie.

Postie walks away thinking "where the fuc£ do they keep getting these numbskulls from to be managers and why do I keep putting up with this dumb $hit everyday?"

[ssdd]

Manager: "Read it and weep Son! That's your new retirement age whether you like it or not".
Postie: (thinking).....I'll need to ask RobertT how this'll affect my AVCs...

[PostmanBitesDog]

"Now pay attention, Billy-Bob. Let me go over this formula with you one more time: One out of three Royal Mail managers are as stupid as the other two. Got it?"

[rubberbond]

And a big Royal Mail welcome to you , now don’t forget your lapsing.

[DownwardSpiral]

The managerial Dark Arts move to another level, although Lucius Malfoy has let himself go a bit !

[HTPostman]

This is the formula for average holiday pay.

[ssdd]

Manager: "162...rhymes with shoe and poo! Now clean it off you dirty bastard...I can smell it from here!"
Postie: (thinking)....I thought you'd let one go....

[ssdd]

Postie: (thinking)...all I can see is 16%. About the same chance as what she's saying penetrating my skull...

[30+YEARMAN]

There are 400 people waiting to take your job,you are on good money for the type of work you do,in fact you should be honoured I am even speaking to you,now get on with it you lazy barstool.