Porches:Got shouted at today.

jack · Post by **jack** » 08 Nov 2007, 14:56

Chucked a packet through a downstairs toilet window once.....and yes ,someone was sitting on the bog as it went flying through.

majeed · Post by **majeed** » 08 Nov 2007, 15:17

jack wrote:Chucked a packet through a downstairs toilet window once.....and yes ,someone was sitting on the bog as it went flying through.

Don't worry, Jack - I'm sure they were busy preparing their own 'parcel'.

OverloadedUK · Post by **OverloadedUK** » 14 Dec 2007, 21:38

had some old bird moan at me for opening her taped up letterbox and posting her mail through it. she said "the other postman uses the box at the bottom" when i looked down it was a fecking catflap. i informed her that technically although a postman i was still human and not in fact a feline, her reply was to tell me what a bone idle bunch of workshy morons we all are. i advised her that i didnt have to take any of her abuse an told her from now on if she wanted her mail she could walk ti the fecking delivery office and get it herself. when i was told yet again how bone idle i was. i said " i suppose it was different during the war, wasnt it" "didnt have letterboxes then or fecking walls after hitler had fecking missed her". this got the desired result and she fecked off. some fecking people should get a dog if they want to kick something. be warned this fecking dog bites back.

Adamcarter · Post by **Adamcarter** » 14 Dec 2007, 22:01

OverloadedUK wrote:had some old bird moan at me for opening her taped up letterbox and posting her mail through it. she said "the other postman uses the box at the bottom" when i looked down it was a fecking catflap. i informed her that technically although a postman i was still human and not in fact a feline, her reply was to tell me what a bone idle bunch of workshy morons we all are. i advised her that i didnt have to take any of her abuse an told her from now on if she wanted her mail she could walk ti the fecking delivery office and get it herself. when i was told yet again how bone idle i was. i said " i suppose it was different during the war, wasnt it" "didnt have letterboxes then or fecking walls after hitler had fecking missed her". this got the desired result and she fecked off. some fecking people should get a dog if they want to kick something. be warned this fecking dog bites back.

Should have wrote 'address inacessible' and returned to sender.

Or ' no delivery point '

Easy.

billyb8 · Post by **billyb8** » 14 Dec 2007, 22:18

Docketman wrote:
TrueBlueTerrier wrote:Trouble is his letter box is about the size of an audio cassette -

This is of course one of those unchangeable laws of physics for posties.

1. The smaller the letter box the more mail they get.

2. When a dog bites a postie the first words of the owner are "he's never done that before".

3. When it says "Do Not Bend" they usually are before they get to the frame.

anybody else got any more
How about the fact that the only women who answer the door in their underwear/towel/little nighty all look like Pat from Eastenders

I once had a student awnser the door starkers. She forgot the door she was reaching around was glass..

bexhil palace · Post by **bexhil palace** » 15 Dec 2007, 19:22

Had a friend who used to torment a blind person on his delivery.
Sad but true. Every now and again he used to rattle the letterbox
and wait for the guy to come searching for the mail on the floor.
As the guy bent down to gather the letters he would launch the mail through
the box onto the poor buggers nut.

dohnut · Post by **dohnut** » 15 Dec 2007, 19:32

Did he also used to pull the wings of insects when he was a child?

superman · Post by **superman** » 15 Dec 2007, 20:00

I was always told you are not insured to step inside someones property, if you slip inside ona mat or something and hurt yourself you can not claim because of going inside

moggymoz · Post by **moggymoz** » 15 Dec 2007, 22:08

got a bo**ocking from some guy today for bending his christmas cards, what does he expect having a letterbox the size of a stamp !!!

Stormproof · Post by **Stormproof** » 15 Dec 2007, 22:43

moggymoz wrote:got a bo**ocking from some guy today for bending his christmas cards, what does he expect having a letterbox the size of a stamp !!!

Probaly posted them to himself with the 6 free stamps he got off RM for complaining about something trivial

Jimbo · Post by **Jimbo** » 15 Dec 2007, 23:26

I got, 'About bloody time!!' shouted at me by an elderly lady this morning at about half 11 after I had delevered her 1 item of junk mail.

She was probably the only person today who didn't have a Christmas card, I wonder why. You would think that it would be teenagers and chavs that would give you the most lip on your rounds, but I have always found the elderly generally the most rude.

rebel · Post by **rebel** » 16 Dec 2007, 09:30

Last winter I slipped on the ice on some steps and fell into a fence dividing two houses. The part of the fence I hit immediately collapsed and the rest of the fence leaned at a 45 degree angle (about 10 metres or so). Luckily neither occupants were witness to my actions. For a few days until the fence was repaired I was able to skip through the gap to deliver to the house next door!

greynut · Post by **greynut** » 16 Dec 2007, 11:00

TrueBlueTerrier wrote:Trouble is his letter box is about the size of an audio cassette -

This is of course one of those unchangeable laws of physics for posties.

1. The smaller the letter box the more mail they get.

2. When a dog bites a postie the first words of the owner are "he's never done that before".

3. When it says "Do Not Bend" they usually are before they get to the frame.

anybody else got any more

These are the ones that repeat over and over.....

1. When I do a 12 o'clock collection. Normally a woman running up saying.. " Ooooh jut in time. I need this to get there tomorrow for my nieces birthday". No you daft bat, there are 3 more collections today. Please read the notice on the post box.

2. Please do not bend letters in the box folded in half so that they can get them in the tiny rural post box.

3. Again normally a woman comes up to me and says. "Do you know if I post a letter in this post box, it NEVER gets there". . She then hands me her letters to post????

4. Especially now at Xmas, walking in to a TSO and a huge queue of people shitting themselves because they all think its the one and only collection of the day. They all start looking down to the front of the queue doing a little impatient shuffle..panicking.

5. And this is the worst.... Doing a walk on overtime and somebody running from number 27 to me at number 19 shouting "You have put number 25's post through my letterbox!"

I ask "Did you just wlak past number 25 all the way here to tell me that?" MUG.

Post by **Lounge Lizard** » 16 Dec 2007, 13:35

And many people seem to think that there's no need to put the house number on Christmas card envelopes.

billyb8 · Post by **billyb8** » 16 Dec 2007, 17:38

Lounge Lizard wrote:And many people seem to think that there's no need to put the house number on Christmas card envelopes.

Not to mention the people who only send cards to neighbours. But post in same village, putting "Local Delivery" on the envelope not knowing their village is one of 150+ to go into the nearby mail centre, All it says inside is "Season's Greetings and a signature. So no way of tracing it. You spend the rest of their lives as the postie who failed to deliver their Xmas cards.

ROYALMAILCHAT

Porches:Got shouted at today.

Duet

..