steviemac wrote:best attempted delivery was a retired friend who tried to deliver to a school but went into wrong entrance and unable to find letter box spied a wendy house in the schoolyard and promptly deposited mail inside!!! Same bloke also attempted to leave a packet inside an oudoor toilet in the back garden .... yes we all know what's comeing ... upon opening the door he was greeted with a cheery hello with a bloke with his trolleys round his ankles who took packet and returned to reading his newspaper.
I delivered a rolled up rug (big fcuker) through an open lounge window once. I figured at least they would only have to un roll it.
Few years back was delivering a small packet to a house with a smaller letter box, in those heady days when you had job and knock 2+hours early if you didn't go back - anyway - no one in, but very warm day so went round side of house and lo and behold a window was open - it was a a cottage with a fine display of miniature tea pots on the window sill. Being a clever sod I was pretty sure I could pop it through the window missing the window sill and belfast sink to land it on the mat. As I tried to lob the sink it caught on the window catch and plopped straight down on the little tea pots and knocked 3 or 4 into the sink with crashing sound. Needless to say as I was beating a hasty retreat they pulled up in the car at the front gate - with a cheery good morning I said I've popped a packet through your kitchen window - oh thanks very much they said - never heard from them about breakages but didn't get a xmas tip either!
Location: Cocytus. Waiting for Leighton and Crozier to arrive
Postby kinmad4it »
Those small letter boxes the size of a gnats sphincter should be illegal. Having to write a docket out because their online dvd rental envelope wont fit through the stupid thing. You'd think they'd have enough common sense to realise, since it was them that ordered the damn things. Had one on a delivery a few years ago with exactly that problem. Every time I managed to catch them in they kept saying they'd get a box fitted to the wall. 6 months later they still hadn't, obviously the hassle of having to trapse into town to pick up their dvd didn't bother them enough.
'It's like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger, or you will miss all that heavenly glory'
I delivered to one of these porches with red tiles, slipped head banged the front door. Tried to collect letters, my glasses etc. very red faced and then the door opens "you ok"? "yes yes" says I. She said you must come in and clean yourself up, I realised that I was covered in blood. She says I really must get a mat there! went the next day sure enough new door mat complete with the slogan 's**t happens'!.
shelanda wrote:I delivered to one of these porches with red tiles, slipped head banged the front door. Tried to collect letters, my glasses etc. very red faced and then the door opens "you ok"? "yes yes" says I. She said you must come in and clean yourself up, I realised that I was covered in blood. She says I really must get a mat there! went the next day sure enough new door mat complete with the slogan 's**t happens'!.
I am sorry but that made me laugh
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shelanda wrote:I delivered to one of these porches with red tiles, slipped head banged the front door. Tried to collect letters, my glasses etc. very red faced and then the door opens "you ok"? "yes yes" says I. She said you must come in and clean yourself up, I realised that I was covered in blood. She says I really must get a mat there! went the next day sure enough new door mat complete with the slogan 's**t happens'!.
i had a porch no letter box had to shove letters under the door till a splinter went under the nail refused to deliver so got them to build a letter box they only left it in the porch with the door locked for 3 years and still going so no window open no mail i just kill it offffff
These vertical letterboxes that are about 12cm in length and spring loaded with the force of a great white sharks bite SHOULD be outlawed i have loads on my delivery and you spend more time watching and counting your fingers than worrying if the mail is ripped to shreds ( very conscientious me!!!) You can guarantee that when you are trying to get ' Home & Garden Monthly' and ' Yodelling for beginners volume 1' wedged through this tiny space and you are pushing with the might of the England rugby pack, then some old granny swings open the door and you end up in a heap on the hall floor surrounded by shoes and cat food!!!! Been there, done that i can here some of you saying
kinmad4it wrote:Those small letter boxes the size of a gnats sphincter should be illegal. Having to write a docket out because their online dvd rental envelope wont fit through the stupid thing. You'd think they'd have enough common sense to realise, since it was them that ordered the damn things. Had one on a delivery a few years ago with exactly that problem. Every time I managed to catch them in they kept saying they'd get a box fitted to the wall. 6 months later they still hadn't, obviously the hassle of having to trapse into town to pick up their dvd didn't bother them enough.
Imagine the fresh air and exercise and the social interaction as they stood in the queue at the SO. Mmm - bet you didn't think about how a box on the wall would deprive our customers of that, did you?
TrueBlueTerrier wrote:Again not a porch issue but I deliver to one those old peoples bungalows that are in a secluded area. During the Spring and Summer some off them put up hanging baskets and if I forget and come round the corner without looking. Ouch .
I've done that and bloody hell it really hurts, you really don't know how heavy they are until you headbutt one (maybe I should wear my helmet all the time )
I'm preparing myself for the zombie invasion, rule number 1 - Cardio
I've had a couple in my time on delivery, in the good old days when you were on the street for 6.30 was cutting accross gardens stood on a wall about 2 foot high 30 foot long and the bastard thing fell over, got pink slip for that one and the best one was going down a drive early one dark morning kicked this massive stone thought i'd broke my toe but soon legged it when it skittled 6 bottles of milk. Went back about an hour later to deliver the mail and the lass that lived there was cleaning up moaning about vandals, i just stood there and agreed with her.
Out on delivery i went to one of my customers house opened the gate went through the next thing a big crash gate fell off i had told them before about the dodgy gate but he said i will fix it dont worry carried on went to my customer with the smallest box in the world spent the next 10 mins rolling each peice of mail to the size of a cigar and posting it then it came to the dart tag so i filled a docket out then blow me down went up to the last bit of my deliverywent to go through the gate and it came of in my hand the hindges had broken in two women comes out screaming at me telling me i was a vandle it was the worst day i had on delivery.
bandit650 wrote:Out on delivery i went to one of my customers house opened the gate went through the next thing a big crash gate fell off i had told them before about the dodgy gate but he said i will fix it dont worry carried on went to my customer with the smallest box in the world spent the next 10 mins rolling each peice of mail to the size of a cigar and posting it then it came to the dart tag so i filled a docket out then blow me down went up to the last bit of my deliverywent to go through the gate and it came of in my hand the hindges had broken in two women comes out screaming at me telling me i was a vandle it was the worst day i had on delivery.
Ant Midlands wrote:I've had a couple in my time on delivery, in the good old days when you were on the street for 6.30 was cutting accross gardens stood on a wall about 2 foot high 30 foot long and the bastard thing fell over, got pink slip for that one and the best one was going down a drive early one dark morning kicked this massive stone thought i'd broke my toe but soon legged it when it skittled 6 bottles of milk. Went back about an hour later to deliver the mail and the lass that lived there was cleaning up moaning about vandals, i just stood there and agreed with her.
I did that not long after I first started as a postie, wall collapses, I fall into next house landing on top of his car bonnet, mail scattered everywhere, guy comes out and went ballistic!
Ant Midlands wrote:I've had a couple in my time on delivery, in the good old days when you were on the street for 6.30 was cutting accross gardens stood on a wall about 2 foot high 30 foot long and the bastard thing fell over, got pink slip for that one and the best one was going down a drive early one dark morning kicked this massive stone thought i'd broke my toe but soon legged it when it skittled 6 bottles of milk. Went back about an hour later to deliver the mail and the lass that lived there was cleaning up moaning about vandals, i just stood there and agreed with her.
I did that not long after I first started as a postie, wall collapses, I fall into next house landing on top of his car bonnet, mail scattered everywhere, guy comes out and went ballistic!
Obviously, that was after you had gone ballistic with the mail!
i have loads on my delivery and you spend more time watching and counting your fingers than worrying if the mail is ripped to shreds ( very conscientious me!!!) 
You can guarantee that when you are trying to get ' Home & Garden Monthly' and ' Yodelling for beginners volume 1' wedged through this tiny space and you are pushing with the might of the England rugby pack, then some old granny swings open the door and you end up in a heap on the hall floor surrounded by shoes and cat food!!!! 
Been there, done that i can here some of you saying 
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