Satan's letterbox

Seymour Buts · Post by **Seymour Buts** » 19 Sep 2017, 14:48

Surely these companies should standardise these things?

Some are okay, others however are a complete waste of time. A waste of our time too; how f**king annoying is it writing a 739 out 'coz some crappy catalog doesn't fit in these crappy boxes?

fishtank · Post by **fishtank** » 19 Sep 2017, 15:06

On a similar note I started delivering to some new houses and something was sticking at the back of the letter boxes so I couldn't get anything other than a leaflet through, I spotted one of the suits from the building site and told him the letter boxes were faulty.

With a straight face he told me this was a deliberate security feature to stop people putting things through the letter box.

Post by **Lounge Lizard** » 19 Sep 2017, 15:12

bmccoll wrote:I reckon they were designed for decorative purposes, completely useless otherwise. I've got one on my round where you have to fold the letters into four and squeeze it in. Thing is the house looks like a palace, all glass and marble... and no letterbox

Here's one, a row of houses were built in a scheme we called millionaire's row. This one house had a huge glass front instead of brick, inside was all marble floors, chandeliers and a sweeping staircase. Stuck on the front door was a scribbled note telling the postman to push their mail under the garage door. The arseholes forgot about putting in a letterbox

Or the architect believed all he had heard about mail volumes plummeting.

wannabeek · Post by **wannabeek** » 19 Sep 2017, 20:37

I found one of these where the owner had bolted it to their gate and they had selected a bolt head so large inside the box that you couldn't actually get anything into it other than one small really-screwed up letter!

Last time I saw it, they'd left it with a laggy band around it holding it shut, presumably so that the postie could put things in it without using the slot!

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 20 Sep 2017, 09:19

I had one last year. Putting letters in it and it fell into 3 pieces

just walked off and put NA on the letters

LouBarlow · Post by **LouBarlow** » 20 Sep 2017, 19:27

fishtank wrote:On a similar note I started delivering to some new houses and something was sticking at the back of the letter boxes so I couldn't get anything other than a leaflet through, I spotted one of the suits from the building site and told him the letter boxes were faulty.

With a straight face he told me this was a deliberate security feature to stop people putting things through the letter box.

Same on a new estate on my delivery. I *think* they can be removed by the householder though. On the same round I had 3 bungalows built without letterboxes at all. Nothing. No box on the wall. Zip.

nickbsmooth · Post by **nickbsmooth** » 21 Sep 2017, 18:22

The openings should be at least that of a post box, and with the slot at the top.

Post by **Lounge Lizard** » 21 Sep 2017, 18:37

nickbsmooth wrote:The openings should be at least that of a post box, and with the slot at the top.

Nick,
I find a slot at the middle of the door is better than at the top.

Alexei · Post by **Alexei** » 21 Sep 2017, 18:42

Lounge Lizard wrote:
nickbsmooth wrote:The openings should be at least that of a post box, and with the slot at the top.
Nick,
I find a slot at the middle of the door is better than at the top.

And most definitely horizontal. Why people have vertical letterboxes, I will never know

UrbanPirate · Post by **UrbanPirate** » 21 Sep 2017, 18:51

Alexei wrote:
Lounge Lizard wrote:
nickbsmooth wrote:The openings should be at least that of a post box, and with the slot at the top.
Nick,
I find a slot at the middle of the door is better than at the top.
And most definitely horizontal. Why people have vertical letterboxes, I will never know

I hate anyone who has a letterbox anywhere other than the middle of the door, horizontally and anything smaller than A4 in width. Scum. Pure scum!

Dexydog · Post by **Dexydog** » 21 Sep 2017, 19:10

I got 3 in a row on a farm building that are vertical with springs stiffer
Update on my satan one- I carded a DVD today, was quite satisfying thinking of the owner's face after traipsing up to the DO to get it.

UrbanPirate · Post by **UrbanPirate** » 21 Sep 2017, 19:56

Dexydog wrote:I got 3 in a row on a farm building that are vertical with springs stiffer than
Bloody lethal...
Update on my satan one- I carded a DVD today, was quite satisfying thinking of the owner's face after traipsing up to the DO to get it.

From time to time I take great pleasure in carding some pretty mundane stuff. Just to imagine the face of said person collecting some bin filler all because of there criminally small and trendy letter box!

All of the other times im just raging!

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 21 Sep 2017, 20:37

UrbanPirate wrote:
Dexydog wrote:I got 3 in a row on a farm building that are vertical with springs stiffer than a
Bloody lethal...
Update on my satan one- I carded a DVD today, was quite satisfying thinking of the owner's face after traipsing up to the DO to get it.
From time to time I take great pleasure in carding some pretty mundane stuff. Just to imagine the face of said person collecting some bin filler all because of there criminally small and trendy letter box!

All of the other times im just raging!

I have carded a fair few love films

. If they want a crap letterbox they can go and collect most stuff from the office.

banner · Post by **banner** » 22 Sep 2017, 11:52

I have a satan's letterbox with a flap that only opens to around a few centimetres, a double whammy

banner · Post by **banner** » 22 Sep 2017, 12:12

The deserved fate for those who purchase satan's letterbox!