Satire - Indian Post hires Usain Bolt as Postman

[TrueBlueTerrier]

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New Delhi: On Friday, Department of Indian Post published a news on their website stating, they have hired Usain Bolt in postal services.

Faking News congratulated the Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt and speaking to us Usain said, “It feels good to be nine times Olympic gold medalist and fastest runner on earth. It was my dream to work in government for a secure life and here too I shall make new records soon”.

Our correspondent also spoke to Head Master of Delhi – GPO and he said, We are also equally excited to have Usain Bolt in our team since India has about 1.5 lakhs post offices and rural areas needs him more for ensuring timely delivery of parcels and letters. Its a transferable position,so he shall be able to visit many places in India but currently, he is posted here for his training since past one month and he is enjoying his stint in Delhi delivering the letters before our postal van which often gets late due to traffic jams”.

Before we could publish this news, we were shocked by another breaking news from Usain Bolt’s personal website stating that, Usain has resigned from his post man job and has become a full-time entrepreneur as ‘Usain Bolt Sperm Donor’.

It further stated, “Last week, Usain went to deliver a parcel to Dr. Baldev Chaddha who is a fertility expert, runs a clinic cum sperm bank in Delhi that guarantees high-quality and specialized sperms. When he saw, Usain Bolt, he was content that his search for ‘Indian Alexander’ is over and he convinced Usain to become a sperm donor. Within a day of his acceptance of the offer, Dr. Baldev received about a record breaking 4 million applications and all parents want their kids to grow up and become Usain Bolt the fastest runner on earth and win gold medals for India”.

When this news broke, Sushma Swaraj immediately tweeted, “If approved by parliament, the sperm donor regulation bill 2016 shall ban foreigners from donating sperms in India to curb exploitation of their poverty and restoration of our Indian ethos and culture”.

Upon which filmmaker Shirish Kunder tweeted, “I welcome the Sperm Donor Bill and hope parliament shall make it a law soon. NaMo always said Make in India but Usain understood it wrongly”.

Shirish next tweeted Dr. Baldev Chaddha, “If I can make 3 in India, I can make more in India. Hire me please. I can even guarantee baldness shall be extinct from India and we won’t need any further Hair Transplant Bill because along with my sperms, I can even assure genetically long hairs which are rooted deeply with ethos of India”.

Well, it looks bhakts are not happy with this tweet and have trolled AAP member Shirish, saying this will only increase the population of India and requested Govt to pass a new law soon which mandates, “Hum ek, doh yeah teen but hamare sirf hongein ek because kids are not films to produce every week or after every tweet”.