'Where are social services?' Parents criticise children's TV in hilarious Facebook post
Tongue-in-cheek parents cite poor job performance by Postman Pat and neglect in Fireman Sam and Charlie and Lola
Postman Pat is a "bungling fool" hampered by poor management structure, while the children of Fireman Sam's village, Pontypandy, are subject to "shameless neglect".
These are the views of people who should know: parents, whose children's addiction to the CBeebies' channel means that they are well-versed in the sinister undertones of beloved television programmes.
A post by Tom Easton on the CBeebies Facebook page has unleashed a torrent of tongue-in-cheek concern from parents losing faith in the ability of popular children's characters to get the job done.
"Postman Pat is a bungling fool. There, I said it," Easton wrote of the new programme, Postman Pat: Special Delivery Service.
"Every morning I watch with my baby daughter as he stumbles from one blunder to the next, invariably losing or damaging the object he is to deliver, keeping people waiting in a state of ever-heightening anxiety as he becomes mired in his own staggering ineptitude."
Hundreds of parents weighed in with their thoughts on Pat's lack of ability despite his many years in the job.
One commenter, a post office clerk, said that Pat's lack of scanning and signatures bothered her most. "SDS should be fully trackable, signed for and at destination by 9am or 1pm, depending on service used," wrote Caress-Lorren Painter. She also pointed out that a lost mail claim should be in order due to no items being tracked or signed for on the programme.
Postman Pat's overuse of the Special Delivery Service helicopter was also criticised as a "scandalous use of funds," as was the need for his boss, Ben, to call him every day to remind him to come into work.
"The problem with contemporary Postman Pat, as a friend of mine put it, is that Special Delivery Service is a tale of a 'middle-aged, inefficient postie manoeuvred into courier position and hopelessly micromanaged by [his] younger boss'," James Baldock wrote. "As in Star Wars, the reason for the catalogue of disasters is poor performance management."
Moving on from Pat's trials in Greendale, a parent expressed her worry over the residents of Fireman Sam's beat in Pontypandy.
"I'm more concerned as to why the children of Pontypandy have not been removed by social services," said Sarah Edwards. "Even Fireman Sam confirmed recently he has had to rescue Norman Price 57 times. Shameless neglect on behalf of his mother and a shocking waste of taxpayers' money."
Steve Rowse agreed: "I watched an episode of Fireman Sam today and they had a BBQ on fire in a field which resulted in two fire engines, one rescue vehicle and a bloody helicopter! It's no wonder the country has no money left with such disregard [for] public funds."
The conversation soon turned to other CBeebies programmes, and village life lay at the heart of much criticism.
"My concerns lie solely with the children at the Balamory nursery," wrote Kelly Fitzgibbon. "Strange, suspicious, clearly insane men and women popping in and out all day too see the children. And I doubt PC Plum would know a police check if it smacked him in the face."
Concern was also mounting over the wellbeing of the popular sibling duo, Charlie and Lola.
Helen Bennett asked: "Anyone know how long Charlie and Lola's parents have been AWOL? They seem to be left to their own devices a lot! Charlie seems to Lola's main carer. Where are social services?"
Tom Easton rounded off the discussion with a fair-minded, but ultimately damning, verdict on Postman Pat's future in the Special Delivery Service.
"I will concede that working for a younger boss, such as Ben, would be trying for a traditionalist like Pat and there appears to be no evidence of a regular regime of appraisal meetings to give him the opportunity to receive feedback on his performance," he wrote.
"However, my sympathy at his lack of continuous professional development extends only so far; he hardly helps himself with many of his antics. His employers provide him with about half a dozen vehicles to choose from and require him to perform only one delivery per day. They even install a cat flap at the sorting office to accommodate his bizarre habit of working alongside his family pet."
