The 12 Golden Rules Of Christmas

[El-Bandito]

I received a plain white covered letter today. Hmm I thought, what can this be, surely not more junk from Ann Summers? It was a lot worse than that, more degrading!! It was a condescending "The 12 Golden Rules Of Christmas" from Royal Mail. Can anyone tell me what the back page means?
Printed in bold letters it states "MERRY CHRISTMAS, then in lower bold lettering it states "For more information, speak to your manager or visit myroyalmail.com" It had possibly a bawble with "1st Time Every time" written on it, brilliant, very festive.
Do I need to speak to someone to have a merry Christmas?

[rubberbond]

We should create our own golden rules, anyone add any to these
Alternative 12 rules of Christmas
1 Ensure that there are not enough staff to cover the sorting
2 Ensure that deliveries commence as late as possible,so working customers are out
3 Ensure late starts make delivery of 1300 items are made even more difficult
4 Ensure that vans are not big enough for shared deliveries,especially with the volume of packets
5 Ensure that there are no spare vans -ever
6 Ensure that the maximum number of D2D deliveries are arranged
7 Continue repeating that mail is down , in order for it to become a self fulfilling prophecy
8 Ensure that by starting later,that customers who live in flats with a time lock, do not get regular mail deliveries
9 Remember to try all neighbours for first time deliveries, no extra time will be needed,even if you try the whole street. twice

[rubberbond]

11) ensure that despite it being a complete disaster, as usual , that all senior managers congratulate themselves on another successful Christmas

[rhino49]

10) Remember that batteries - such as those in PDA's run down twice as quickly in cold weather and tell staff to keep them in a warm place while they are out

[Treacle12]

Don't forget there are 19000 extra staff out there ....somewhere !! Anyone seen one ?

[Edward Hunter]

remember to recruit 17000 casual staff, but make sure they are all for the mail centers as the f***ing mugs actually delivering the stuff can just get on with it, as they wont have any extra packets to do on their already too-easy deliveries

[fb1969]

Remember to send out pointless cr@p to the staff, at best it will pee them off and at worst it will patronise the sh!t out of them

[rubberbond]

Realise that all these back room staff who get sent out on delivery at Christmas ,won't be missed ,the organisation rumbles on. What do they do all day? Get rid ,save a fortune.

[Chelseablue]

Rem to bully and patronise you're staff into going over there time at Xmas . Rem to hire more managers with no people skills at all .

[Lincox]

Remember to send out 50 stamps with a greetings card that has cost nothing but the paper it is written on.

[Jpro747]

Do these rules only apply for xmas then?