Mumsnet email today - who was the postie

[TrueBlueTerrier]

"Argh, I just fondled the postman," revealed PsammeadPaintedTheLion, still vibrating with embarrassment. "Don't you just hate it when you do something cringeworthy and keep thinking about it?"

Well, what better way to deal with a horrific incident than to talk it through with her friends on Mumsnet? We’re here for ya, Psam. <tilts head>

"The postman came with a parcel. He had his signing thingy and gave it to me, so I signed, and as I held it I felt something underneath and assumed it was some kind of button or clip and, being a fiddler, I stroked it, several times, with my middle finger.

"It was only when the horror on his face registered that I realised it was his finger I was caressing.

"He disappeared back down the garden path accompanied by a small sonic boom, as I imploded into a black hole of embarrassment."

"That’s it," said a shocked ScrambledSmegs."That's it, you've now outed yourself as the British Finger Fondler. Everyone will know. People will hide their hands in their pockets as you walk past…"

"At least it was only his finger," commented trikken, "Could have been a lot worse!" (Good god, what does trikken’s postman’s uniform look like?)

It’s okay, everyone, ATeaPleaseBob has a plan.
"If you were too mortified to say anything, you will have to either:
a) Never have any parcels delivered so that you can avoid postman
b) Move house."

[holly123]

it was his Cadburys Twix for his dinner

[GoingRoundTheBend]

May have been his finger of fudge
reminds me of a girl at school back in the day who's nickname was that