Worst x'mas tip you have ever had?

[plymouth3]

a bag of almonds, then a postie at the do said don't touch them, apparently the old lady likes to suck the coating off sugar almonds but does not like the nut itself.

[wandle]

One middle-aged lady on my walk had a stunningly fit 22-year old daughter. The daughter gave me an afternoon of wild sex, which was all rather nice, if somewhat unexpected, and a pound coin. She told me later she'd asked her Mum what Xmas tip to give me, and was told, 'F@ck him, give him a quid'






(joking)

[TrueBlueTerrier]

got £2 from some guy. not the worst tip ever but the fact he said 'get yourself a pint'. felt like asking where he drinks cos theres nowhere i know sells pints for £2

Was in the sort of delivery where you can get White Lightning on special 2Ltr for a £1.

[maisymoo04]

Worst tip I ever heard was a girl at the office, one year she was given the tip of a penis

wow she couldn't take a whole one then.......... don't put too much sugar in ya coffee.....

There's post woman on this site brains watch what u say

[TrueBlueTerrier]

One explicitly sexual post by tommytucka deleted - this is a family site and sexualy explicit posts are not welcome unless in the Adult Jokes thread.

Also deleted Glennos and masiymoos that requoted it, but no infraction by them.

[maisymoo04]

[Lounge Lizard]

I got 24 bottles of Budweiser once which sounds like a great tip but that was in the old days of bag over the shoulder and 24 bottles of Bud plays havoc with the bag weight matrix.
What I really should have done was start drinking them.

So you've still got them ?

[Lounge Lizard]

a bag of almonds, then a postie at the do said don't touch them, apparently the old lady likes to suck the coating off sugar almonds but does not like the nut itself.

I thought it was a bag of brazil nuts, then a postie at the do said don't touch them, apparently the old lady can only suck the chocolate off since she lost her false teeth.
Yes, the old jokes are the best.

[Glenno]

so, what's an infraction then,

[5plusbonusball]

home-made marmalade in the same recycled jar from the green chutney

[Lounge Lizard]

One middle-aged lady on my walk had a stunningly fit 22-year old daughter. The daughter gave me an afternoon of wild sex, which was all rather nice, if somewhat unexpected, and a pound coin. She told me later she'd asked her Mum what Xmas tip to give me, and was told, 'F@ck him, give him a quid'






(joking)

And breakfast too on your retirement day.

[wheresourmoney]

got a beer mat with a milkman on it, and a ticket for a box at white hart lane for a game against stoke , as a Chelsea fan I let one of the lads at work have it.

[NWpostie]

Last year an old lady handed me a Tesco's bag .It was clinking away so I thought it was a few bottles of bud or something. As I said thanks she pointed at the recycling bin and said can you put it in there please. It was all her empties!!!!!

I hope you told her to do it herself.

[sussexlad]

About 18 years ago a bloke stopped me when I was riding back to the office, he did not live on my delivery so I didn't know him, he pulled out a fiver and gave it to me and said "Here postie share this with your mates back at the office". 90 people work at my office!!!!

[maisymoo04]

We used to have a lad in our place who was always sick hence him being sacked now , used to walk around his old walk after being finished and no lie used to get the tips of his old customers f@@@ all that about