How to become a manager

strangler · Post by **strangler** » 30 Sep 2007, 10:30

I`ve always wondered what 'exams' or 'tests' have to be taken to become a manager. Before anyone asks, no I`m not thinking of becoming one! Just very curious as to how some of these numbskulls could pass anything other than wind. Has anyone on here seen, or taken any of these tests? Perhaps someone even has a scan of such a thing.
Joke responses more than welcome

I suspect it`s something along the lines of "How many fingers am I holding up".

Broxi51 · Post by **Broxi51** » 30 Sep 2007, 10:36

I heard that the application forms for becoming manager are entrenched firmly up managers A**ES.

wakkono · Post by **wakkono** » 30 Sep 2007, 10:45

no test required ............. you just need a long tongue ...............and it usually ends up brown

Post by **rhino49** » 30 Sep 2007, 10:45

Ingredients

1) one human being
2) one group of hard working human beings

Method

Take one human being - remove conscience - remove humanity - remove common sense - remove will to live - remove ability to tell right from wrong - remove sense of humour - remove memory of being a real worker.

add economy with the truth - add fear of managers above them - add greed for money above all other considerations - add ability to get home long before delivery duties are over.

Add ingredient one to ingredient two and stand back and watch the recipe for chaos.

I would comment here that my own managers were made from slightly different recipes but some of the elements above are present in all of them or they would have to be called something else - like for instance plum duff.

Bloke7 · Post by **Bloke7** » 30 Sep 2007, 13:23

rhino49 wrote:Ingredients

1) one human being
2) one group of hard working human beings

Method

Take one human being - remove conscience - remove humanity - remove common sense - remove will to live - remove ability to tell right from wrong - remove sense of humour - remove memory of being a real worker.

add economy with the truth - add fear of managers above them - add greed for money above all other considerations - add ability to get home long before delivery duties are over.

Add ingredient one to ingredient two and stand back and watch the recipe for chaos.

I would comment here that my own managers were made from slightly different recipes but some of the elements above are present in all of them or they would have to be called something else - like for instance plum duff.

A recipe for disaster. Brilliant post :D

jimmy p · Post by **jimmy p** » 30 Sep 2007, 15:26

strangler wrote:I`ve always wondered what 'exams' or 'tests' have to be taken to become a manager. Before anyone asks, no I`m not thinking of becoming one! Just very curious as to how some of these numbskulls could pass anything other than wind. Has anyone on here seen, or taken any of these tests? Perhaps someone even has a scan of such a thing.
Joke responses more than welcome
I suspect it`s something along the lines of "How many fingers am I holding up".

The tests have changed recently.

It used to be a competency based series of tests - working out rota's, maths test followed by an interview sometimes two depending on grade applying for.

It is now a series of tests - 10 items to do in time limited exercise + board interview at the end.

I have sat 4 of these and have passed them all, the reason I mention this is so no-one thinks thinks the following is due to bitterness:

The current process is appalling, although better than the previous set up. It gives no indication of ability to do job IMO it is very similar to old PHG test which had no relevance to post applying for. We should IMO have a day's selection process involving Communication skills, Negotiation ability, computer skills + process competency. If you pass this then it should be an interview with local DSM + 2 days training on local agreements etc.

From my experience you take a job on and have little or no knowledge of local practices, the office, local relationship with CWU and local issues.

coppertop · Post by **coppertop** » 30 Sep 2007, 16:07

In our office 6 posties took the e-test to do acting and out of those six only 2 passed one having got one of the highest scores ever but the 2 that passed have never done any acting so you have to be pretty thick to be a RM manager cos the other 4 who failed have been acting all the time and yes honestly are crap.

jimmy p · Post by **jimmy p** » 30 Sep 2007, 16:59

coppertop wrote:In our office 6 posties took the e-test to do acting and out of those six only 2 passed one having got one of the highest scores ever but the 2 that passed have never done any acting so you have to be pretty thick to be a RM manager cos the other 4 who failed have been acting all the time and yes honestly are crap.

Obviously you're not thick enough to have a go at managing then are you.

I am fully aware that mangers get loads of abuse on these forums (and yes, most of it deserved) but do you think that the majority run the offices as they want to.

We have to contend with the CWU reps, senior managers, local agreements etc. I genuinely love my job and have always tried to work with my CWU reps, line managers and office staff to do what is right for our office, but am forced to abide by RM policies, CWU local agreements - just let us run our offices the way we want to, then you would see changes.

michael147 · Post by **michael147** » 30 Sep 2007, 23:03

Really i think it must be irrelevant what the tests are,i will go with my own opinion based on the following.
A young postman who has been acting for a while, and i hear has just got a DUM position, so will be leaving soon to take it up asked me these two questions:-
1.Michael,when is afternoon?
2.Hi Michael have been on xduty today there are 355 drops and have done D2D`S on 270,how many does that leave?
THIS IS NOT A JOKE I AM SERIOUS!

L Tommo · Post by **L Tommo** » 30 Sep 2007, 23:11

DONT BOTHER.. JUST BLOW YA BRAINS OUT"!! if ya can find em>>>?]

OUT

ROCKY · Post by **ROCKY** » 01 Oct 2007, 16:47

when i did mine there was an aplication form to fill in then i was up in front of 2 senior managers who took turns with questions then if you passed that it was a one week course about how to do the job i got back to my do full of the great ideas i had been trained on diversity,treatment of staff etc etc to be told forget your training here we do it my way

dongash · Post by **dongash** » 01 Oct 2007, 17:37

one of the main things is to have a full lobotomy, be a lying bastard, crawler, backstabber,yes man, oh and be totally unable to do postmans work ( only badly once you are a manager) regards dongash one of the 77% from scabfree macclesfield ( take note JOHN WAYNE if your reading this !!!!) :cfo :lfo :cfo :lfo :cfo

vigilante · Post by **vigilante** » 01 Oct 2007, 17:55

michael147 wrote:Really i think it must be irrelevant what the tests are,i will go with my own opinion based on the following.
A young postman who has been acting for a while, and i hear has just got a DUM position, so will be leaving soon to take it up asked me these two questions:-
1.Michael,when is afternoon?
2.Hi Michael have been on xduty today there are 355 drops and have done D2D`S on 270,how many does that leave?
THIS IS NOT A JOKE I AM SERIOUS!

THERE YOU ARE HE IS PERFECTLY QUALIFIED!!

ROYALMAILCHAT

How to become a manager

How to become a manager

Here's the recipe....

Re: Here's the recipe....

Re: How to become a manager

Tests

Re: Tests

management

michael147