nearly killed today !

[felang13]

Theres this dog on my delivery ...big black maneater called Bruce ,every morning I pass him ,and every morning hes out .Luckily for me hes behind a 5 foot gate but every morning we go through the same old wind up ..snarl ,bark ,pace slobber ,you know how it is ...come on Bruce do your worst ..and yep hed eat me given half the chance .This morning he was out again and off we went waking up the neighbourhood ,jumping up and snarling , only today there was an unfamiliar ..'click '...the gate swung open ...he looked at me.. I looked at him ,both thinking the same thats not in the script ,needless to say i s**t myself and after climbing on top of an empty wheelie bin ,dressed in my traffic cone Rm muppet garb that is supposed to keep you dry , i thought I was in for it .10 bloody mins I was on that bloody bin and wall , when mrs collins ,a sprightly 90 year old came to my rescue....Come now Bruce leave the postie alone , and off he went wagging his bloody tail ....cars were passing pipping there horns .cheering me on ,admiring my bravery ,only for me to give most the preverbral 2 fingers ...... you know I must have looked a right prick , all for £200 a week ...sigh

[ulster postie]

JESUS I s**t MY PANTS JUST READING IT

[IWW Fellow Worker]

We had a lad in our office a few years ago who constantly had problems with a dog and an owner who thought the whole thing was a joke. One day, Barry turned into work with a craft knife. Out came the dog, out came the craft knife, and Barry almost had it's nose off. The owner wasn't laughing after that. He wasn't laughing for a few days after because Barry used to walk past his house on his way to work and empty the milk bottles on the step while no one was about.

[shelly]

Theres this dog on my delivery ...big black maneater called Bruce ,every morning I pass him ,and every morning hes out .Luckily for me hes behind a 5 foot gate but every morning we go through the same old wind up ..snarl ,bark ,pace slobber ,you know how it is ...come on Bruce do your worst ..and yep hed eat me given half the chance .This morning he was out again and off we went waking up the neighbourhood ,jumping up and snarling , only today there was an unfamiliar ..'click '...the gate swung open ...he looked at me.. I looked at him ,both thinking the same thats not in the script ,needless to say i s**t myself and after climbing on top of an empty wheelie bin ,dressed in my traffic cone Rm muppet garb that is supposed to keep you dry , i thought I was in for it .10 bloody mins I was on that bloody bin and wall , when mrs collins ,a sprightly 90 year old came to my rescue....Come now Bruce leave the postie alone , and off he went wagging his bloody tail ....cars were passing pipping there horns .cheering me on ,admiring my bravery ,only for me to give most the preverbral 2 fingers ...... you know I must have looked a right p***k , all for £200 a week ...sigh

all you have to do is refuse to deliver to that address, if he bites you you get nothing except rabies.

[DGP1]

Theres this dog on my delivery ...big black maneater called Bruce ,every morning I pass him ,and every morning hes out .Luckily for me hes behind a 5 foot gate but every morning we go through the same old wind up ..snarl ,bark ,pace slobber ,you know how it is ...come on Bruce do your worst ..and yep hed eat me given half the chance .This morning he was out again and off we went waking up the neighbourhood ,jumping up and snarling , only today there was an unfamiliar ..'click '...the gate swung open ...he looked at me.. I looked at him ,both thinking the same thats not in the script ,needless to say i s**t myself and after climbing on top of an empty wheelie bin ,dressed in my traffic cone Rm muppet garb that is supposed to keep you dry , i thought I was in for it .10 bloody mins I was on that bloody bin and wall , when mrs collins ,a sprightly 90 year old came to my rescue....Come now Bruce leave the postie alone , and off he went wagging his bloody tail ....cars were passing pipping there horns .cheering me on ,admiring my bravery ,only for me to give most the preverbral 2 fingers ...... you know I must have looked a right p***k , all for £200 a week ...sigh

Report the dog to your local dog warden, menacing dogs are illegal

[not me]

theres a guy in our office vmisses a whole cul de sac if the 2 alsations that live at the bottom are out and about.
dont blame him as these are 2 big fookers. kept as gaurd dogs as they keep falcons in the garden!!
we get constant complaints from people who live in the cul de sac who feel this 50 year 8 stone guy should just brave it against the 2 dogs!

[vigilante]

WHEN YOU COMPLAIN TO DIMS, THEY DO NOTHING, TOO MUCH LIKE HARD WORK--------THEIR HANDS TIRE FROM THE PAPERWORK!!



IRONIC ISN'T IT, THEY WRITE A LETTER TO THE OWNER ABOUT THEIR DOG-----------WHO DELIVERS IT THEN!!!!

[bigsharkboy]

i make my dum deliver the dog letter

[fedup postie]

I used to have a major problem with a dog on my walk. It did not matter where I was on the walk, if the dog saw me, it would go for me. I reported it no end of times to the dim but nothing was done. One day, I took a large stick into work. The dim saw the said stick and asked what it was for. I told him that I needed some protection from the dog. The dim said that you can not take that out on delivery with you and if you do, I will have to report you for having an offensive weapon with you!!!!!

Anyway, I continued with my walk, and I managed to get to the dogs house without any mither the one day, so I knocked on the door and spoke to the owner who needless to say was far from sympathetic. I told them that I would report it to the dog warden and that I could have the dog removed as it was a danger to me. They just said, "do what you like" and shut the door! Typical.

I was beginning to get really fed up by this time and so the next time the dog was out, I missed all the streets where the dog was. Well over 200 houses and I took it all back to my delivery office. I promply placed the bundles on the managers desk. He looked at me and said, "Whats that!" I explained that I had reported the dog often enough to the dims, and that I had had enough of being a target practice for the dog and therefore, If it was in any property or street, I would not deliver to that area.

I did not have a problem with the dog again, infact, I didn't see the dog again after that

[John_McC]

WHEN YOU COMPLAIN TO DIMS, THEY DO NOTHING, TOO MUCH LIKE HARD WORK--------THEIR HANDS TIRE FROM THE PAPERWORK!!



IRONIC ISN'T IT, THEY WRITE A LETTER TO THE OWNER ABOUT THEIR DOG-----------WHO DELIVERS IT THEN!!!!

Different subject but still ironic I had a holiday house on my duty were the owners from London would use it in school holidays. They had no letterbox so I just killed off all the mail,well eventually they put in a redirection. When the usual letter came through for the ocupier I ask dim what to do as not the same name as on re direct he told me to kill it off and write on it no letter box holiday house! a week or so later another letter came through requesting the occupier put up a letter box addressed to the occupier so that to got killed off too

Oh and as to dogs I have one on my duty that I will not del to as it nearly had me on a number of times, will not even do the specials they just get a card in the gate at the bottom of their track

[KawasakiKid]

:lfo :cfo Felang mate, take him some choccy bikkies every day and feed him. One week later and he's eating out of your hand. Oh! thats if he Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds Him----------------------A KORNY KWAK(Well I think it is)

[dubdaz]

I did a walk years ago where the doberman(well before staffs became the fashion) dog was out and there was a bloke doing his front garden,which were like the ones out of Brookside ie no fencing round them.All of a sudden it chased me into the middle of the road,he called it off and put it indoors.After the initial shitting myself I got very angry,very quickly and barked at him that he should'nt have his f**cking dog off his f**cking lead!!
He quickly replied "he's not my f**cking dog,I'm the f**cking gardner" in a Meldrew esque manner.
I would'nt have laughed to myself if it had of bit me I suppose.

[mylegshurt]

i know your gonna slate me for this but i just found it funny. nothing to do with all the s h i t we have to put up with ,what with the strikes etc,but thought it might bring a smile to some of your faces and maybe chear you up a bit.[ladies please stop reading] [NO SERIOUSLY][STOP NOW][HAVE YOU GONE YET]good, i will proceed. i came across this saying on the net somehere,dont know where.its in responce to a question asked on a blog about a certain sexual act, the questioner asked what is a Angry dragon. the responce is forthwith................ ANGRY DRAGON
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up, she'll look like an angry dragon......c u on the gate friday.............

[L Tommo]

My legs hurt....

And i thought i was a charmer!!!



OUT

[vigilante]

i know your gonna slate me for this but i just found it funny. nothing to do with all the s h i t we have to put up with ,what with the strikes etc,but thought it might bring a smile to some of your faces and maybe chear you up a bit.[ladies please stop reading] [NO SERIOUSLY][STOP NOW][HAVE YOU GONE YET]good, i will proceed. i came across this saying on the net somehere,dont know where.its in responce to a question asked on a blog about a certain sexual act, the questioner asked what is a Angry dragon. the responce is forthwith................ ANGRY DRAGON
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up, she'll look like an angry dragon......c u on the gate friday.............

MUST TRY THAT ON THE WIFE.

MY D.I.V.O.R.C.E, WAS MADE FINAL TODAY---ME AND ETC ETC-----TAMMY WYNETTE---TARGET AUDIENCE