POSTMANS UNIVERSAL LAWS

chief · Post by **chief** » 25 Sep 2007, 22:29

Pastymuncher wrote:Fecking Cobwebs, what makes a 10mm spider think he can catch and eat a 14st postman. Perhaps its just my phobia but I hate having the damn dirty things all over my face.

Good shout! Web right across your face regardless of how high or low the hedge is, or how tall or small the postie is. ALWAYS right across the coupon!

chief · Post by **chief** » 25 Sep 2007, 22:30

Funny how people can't hear the doorbell ringing, but can hear a p739 bounce off the carpet. I leave my van running, post the shut notice through, then run to the van without looking back!

chief · Post by **chief** » 25 Sep 2007, 22:32

Your floater (or rest day cover) missorting, and you copping the wrath of the old bag the next day! "Wasnae me!" They never believe you!

Post by **POSTMAN** » 25 Sep 2007, 22:36

chief wrote:Your floater (or rest day cover) missorting, and you copping the wrath of the old bag the next day! "Wasnae me!" They never believe you!

Or the Rest day cover gettin it because of the regular!

vigilante · Post by **vigilante** » 25 Sep 2007, 23:02

IF YOU HAVE A TERRACE OF HOUSES, HOW IS IT THE FIRST AND LAST HOUSES ARE ALWAYS THE FECKERS WHO HAVE MAIL DAILY???!!
IF YOU HAVE A LIGHT DAY (NOT NOW) YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GO TO THE FIRST AND LAST HOUSE IN THE ROW!!!

staffordtigers · Post by **staffordtigers** » 25 Sep 2007, 23:18

Another Grrrrrrrr point is on a Saturday and you knock on a door. No answer, p739 it and carry on.
When they come in for it they moan that you didnt leave it with a neighbour. Why would i leave it with a neighbour at 7.30 am saturday morning just cos they couldnt be arsed getting out of their bed.

If they order it.....fu*k it. Remember we are just the messengers afterall.

smarterdarter · Post by **smarterdarter** » 26 Sep 2007, 11:41

If the're Bills give them to Bill

it was funny the first 5,000 times

frankie · Post by **frankie** » 26 Sep 2007, 13:45

tyconuk · Post by **tyconuk** » 26 Sep 2007, 16:04

frankie wrote:The worse one for me is when you've spent nearly 5mins banging on the door, ringing the bell, writing out a 739, posting it , going back down the path towards the van, then the stupid, lazy tw*t decides to hang out the window yelling abuse at you for taking it away! I find it incredible that I can still manage to deliver the item without decking the f****ing cretin!

LOL LMFAO spot on mate LOL

jack · Post by **jack** » 26 Sep 2007, 18:45

Your wanna piss and finally find a secluded place to have one. Whilst in motion a lady suddenly appears whilst your in full flow!!

doorstep it · Post by **doorstep it** » 26 Sep 2007, 19:42

The normal postmans on holiday again is he? gawd, you lot must be raking it in!!

frankie · Post by **frankie** » 27 Sep 2007, 12:46

bertie · Post by **bertie** » 27 Sep 2007, 16:30

Had a good one the other day delivering a packet. You know how it goes, knocking on the door, ringing the bell, going round back of house etc.
Nothing doing so writes out a p739. Just about to post it and yes, you guessed, a woman appears from across the road.

'I always take mail for them' she says, 'it's my daughter in law'
Thought I'd better make sure so I asked her what name it was....and she gave me her name.
No, who's the packet for I said.
'My daughter in law'

AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH

btw, anyone got a good reply to 'where's your black and white cat' ?

Post by **TrueBlueTerrier** » 27 Sep 2007, 16:33

"Using your garden as a toilet" - it confuses them

smokerjim · Post by **smokerjim** » 27 Sep 2007, 19:44

bertie wrote:
btw, anyone got a good reply to 'where's your black and white cat' ?

I'm fattening him up - due to proposed cuts in pay, O/T and conditions, resulting in personal poverty, I might be forced to eat him

ROYALMAILCHAT

POSTMANS UNIVERSAL LAWS

terraces