POSTMANS UNIVERSAL LAWS

IWW Fellow Worker · Post by **IWW Fellow Worker** » 01 Aug 2007, 23:15

455SD wrote:The houses that are hardest to get to always have one letter, just to make the exercise seem even more futile.

And it's Mailsort!

kinmad4it · Post by **kinmad4it** » 01 Aug 2007, 23:18

E-Bay'rs who seem to do nothing but sit at their computer all day and buy s**t. But are never bloody in when you deliver their crappy packet.
Those sweaty ring pieces that get an entire bundle of flats just for their house every day. "I'm sick of all these catalogues" "Then stop signing up for them you retard!"
Bell ends that ask you if you've got a letter for them. "And you live where? Oh, 2 miles away. No idea numb nuts, try the postman that actually delivers there"
"You must be frozen solid in this cold" But don't think to offer you a hot drink. And the reverse for when sweat's running down your arse crack like Niagara.
The fucktards that don't understand simple english. "Sign then print your name at number 3" They then proceed to only sign their name, against the wrong barcode

"Number 3!!!!! you cretin!!"
Arseholes in banks and offices that see you stood there, obviously with their mail waiting to hand it over to them. And they just ignore you and carry on talking. Walk back outside and post the mail through their overnight box. Ignorant twats!

Those are just off the top of my head. And not forgetting all the ones previously mentioned.

The Sarge · Post by **The Sarge** » 02 Aug 2007, 14:26

OI! Pat! If I had a pound.........

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 02 Aug 2007, 14:30

The fucktards that don't understand simple english. "Sign then print your name at number 3" They then proceed to only sign their name, against the wrong barcode "Number 3!!!!! you cretin!!"

'I don't have my glasses on' well then put them on numbnuts

[/code]

Guyzongo · Post by **Guyzongo** » 05 Aug 2007, 08:38

You`ve just rung, knocked and filled out a 739 and that`s when they decide to answer the door! Sorry I didn`t hear you, they always say. I`d just for once, love to ask them if they`re F*****G deaf!!!

tyconuk · Post by **tyconuk** » 25 Sep 2007, 17:35

i don't know if anybody has written this one
Christmas Tips
For 11 months of the year, everybody speaks too you!
then shock, horror, December comes around and they
all seem too avoid you!
or is it just me LOL

postie28 · Post by **postie28** » 25 Sep 2007, 17:45

tyconuk wrote:i don't know if anybody has written this one
Christmas Tips
For 11 months of the year, everybody speaks too you!
then shock, horror, December comes around and they
all seem too avoid you!
or is it just me LOL

exactly right. come dec 1. there'll be tumble weeds blowing around on my delivery.

brothermagrew · Post by **brothermagrew** » 25 Sep 2007, 17:46

How about:

Why does dog turd look and feel different in size shape and smell when you are lying face down in it during the dark mornings?

Post by **dvbuk55** » 25 Sep 2007, 18:00

Gates have always been my bugbear.

The guy who reported me when he asked if I could close his gate and I jokingly said I don't know I've never tried - he didn't find it amusing and neither did the Manager.

The young woman who having negotiated her pram and baby into her premises proceeded to harangue me for CLOSING the gate because it was hard to open when she had the pram.

The old lady who having given me 50p said I wish it was more - to which I replied - aye so do I love - accused me of being ungrateful

Pastymuncher · Post by **Pastymuncher** » 25 Sep 2007, 18:02

Fecking Cobwebs, what makes a 10mm spider think he can catch and eat a 14st postman. Perhaps its just my phobia but I hate having the damn dirty things all over my face.

Post by **TrueBlueTerrier** » 25 Sep 2007, 18:18

baglady wrote:when delivering to blocks of flats or sheltered housing complexes, why is it that the only residents who get mail[and loads of it] every day, stay on the top floor or at the end of the corridor, furthest away from the stairs?

and even when its 30C outside they still have the heating on full

Sandyman · Post by **Sandyman** » 25 Sep 2007, 18:35

Customers, of course, are responsible for the funniest comment in history. And it's said,daily, as if it's an
original one line classic:

"If it's a bill, you can keep it HA HAAAA HAAAA HAHAHA AAHHHAA HAHA HAHA"

:lfo :cfo

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 25 Sep 2007, 19:27

Pastymuncher wrote:Fecking Cobwebs, what makes a 10mm spider think he can catch and eat a 14st postman. Perhaps its just my phobia but I hate having the damn dirty things all over my face.

What a nightmare spider and dog

pickaname · Post by **pickaname** » 25 Sep 2007, 21:27

Renditions of Beatles classics incite violence...

Broxi51 · Post by **Broxi51** » 25 Sep 2007, 21:34

Another Grrrrrrrr point is on a Saturday and you knock on a door. No answer, p739 it and carry on.
When they come in for it they moan that you didnt leave it with a neighbour. Why would i leave it with a neighbour at 7.30 am saturday morning just cos they couldnt be arsed getting out of their bed.