strangest thing a customer has said to you?

[bunkerland]

One of my colleagues told me this one last week ,he'd just given one of his customers some sort of junk mail lottery numbers when they started discussing the possibility of winning!

Customer "If i win you won't have to worry about delivering my mail anyway" Big smile from postie as he replies "How much would you give me like?" Customer looks him straight in the eyes and without a hint of a smile says " Eh,nothing i'd be moving house"

I think the expression is..........OWNED.

[Theghost]

On a street i do Number 22 had been evicted and house was empty for about 3 months,Letter box sealed shut so all items killed off.

Woman from number 20 came out.

Woman....."Are you our regular postman?"

Me.........."Yes"

Woman......."Well you have been posting our mail into next doors house" Pointing at number 22.

Me.........."Are you sure?"

Woman..............."Yes and some important letters i have been waiting for aswell"

Me.............."When did this happen?"

Woman............."Last week"

Me.............."I dont think so love"

Woman............"Erm,I bloody know so"

Me........."Well that letter box has been sealed shut,So how the hell has mail been posted there and How did you get it"

Red faced woman......."Well it went somewhere"

Me............"But not where you just told me? Just because something you are waiting for aint turned up,Dont assume the postie is responsible"

She then closed/Slammed the door.

A few days later her bloke came out and apologised and said the mail she was waiting for had been delivered the very next day "She can be a stupid bitch at times,She's embarrasing" and handed me a case of carling.

I was going to say it should be her apologising,But said cheers and took them.

Have a chat with him quite often now,His other half wont even look me in the eye,Which is good because i like looking at her big tits.

[chunk]

A packet to deliver and no reply, so i try the side gate..
around the back theres a patio area not overlooked as it has high hedges /fences.

Theres the customer sitting on bean bags with two women and they are all sharing a cigarette.
Hes English but hes unshaven and wearing a caftan type robe thing.
"hello Mr postman" he says so i give them the packet.
usual smalltalk but nothing unusual, then hes says "you know your the least uptight postie we ever had... i sense your an
easy going liberal sort of fella".
"maybe" i agree (thinking nothing of it)
"we are all liberal here ! aren't we dear" he says to her with a wink.
"My wifes quite attractive do you think ? "
i agree "she is" then i make my exit.

[L8Hatter]

Car pulls up in the middle of Derby city centre

Can you tell me the way to Lincolnshire?

Lincolnshire Road/Avenue/Street?

No, Lincolnshire

*extremely long pause* Keep going east, you'll be fine mate

[Almighty1]

Delivering to a customer today, when a police woman approaches me and asks if she can have the mail for the address I was about to deliver to? I said do you have any ID? So she smugly flashed me her police badge (yawn) I said thats no good, do you have anything with your address on it?

[Viewfindergeneral]

A man comes up to me in the street....Do you know anything about cucumbers?! I reply , no sorry mate, he walks off....w.t.f?

[clashcityrocker]

A man comes up to me in the street....Do you know anything about cucumbers?! I reply , no sorry mate, he walks off....w.t.f?

Surely you know you have to grow F1 varieties?
Or you have to pick off al the male flowers to avoid really bitter cucumbers.

[fishtank]

Or you have to pick off al the male flowers to avoid really bitter cucumbers.

Since cucumbers generally have no taste at all surely a bitter cucumber would be a step forward for the cucumber world.

[General Mannerheim]

A man comes up to me in the street....Do you know anything about cucumbers?! I reply , no sorry mate, he walks off....w.t.f?

DGP1??????????

[clashcityrocker]

Or you have to pick off al the male flowers to avoid really bitter cucumbers.

Since cucumbers generally have no taste at all surely a bitter cucumber would be a step forward for the cucumber world.

You, unfortunately, have been eating the watery vapid thing that passes for a cucumber in a supermarket.
It doesn'tcompare with the rare thing of beauty you can pick from your greenhouse.
The same can be said of Golden Delicious apples. Tasteless in the supermarket but a truly delicious apple when picked from a small orchard.

[fishtank]

Tasteless in the supermarket but a truly delicious apple when picked from a small orchard.

I don't have an orchard,even a small one.
Does Le Chateau Clash make Cidre?

[clashcityrocker]

I had to sell Le Chateau Clash

However one can gain invaluable experience and have a cheap holiday by WWOOFing
http://www.wwoof.org/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[fishtank]

I had to sell Le Chateau Clash

However one can gain invaluable experience and have a cheap holiday by WWOOFing
http://www.wwoof.org/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I was extremely nervous about clinking on that link.
My father grew tomatoes and cucumbers.
Unfortunately being an obsessive compulsive it became an obsessive compulsion,we were soon knee deep in Gazpacho and i haven't touch either since.

[Lounge Lizard]

"Can you tell me, one of the days last week when you put my mail through the door did it land on the chair, not the floor ?" to which I had no answer as the door is windowless AND I was away on holiday last week.

[clashcityrocker]

"Can you tell me, one of the days last week when you put my mail through the door did it land on the chair, not the floor ?" to which I had no answer as the door is windowless AND I was away on holiday last week.

Breakfast