Know me, 'Codebreaker'...

[Codebreaker]

Hmmm…

I am now in a position where I feel under pressure and under attack. I am posting this to give anyone (including Royal Mail Managers) on here a little bit about me and my background and perhaps an insight into ‘Codebreaker’. Please do not think I enter into this post lightly – those of you viewing this that know me, know I am a private person. However, for most all of you, this is a HUGE step I take. Despite the fact that I compromise my own desire to continue to remain a private person I am more than willing to make a personal sacrifice for the good of all of us.

I have no apologies to make nor will I ever be (forced or not) into a position where I will need to defend myself.

I am 41 years of age and I, like many of us, have had both good and bad experiences. I believe that all of the experiences I have had during my lifetime have made me into the person I am today. I know I am A good person and people or organisations that negatively challenge that fact will not affect me nor move me from my steadfast knowledge of my opinion of myself. Please do not think I am any kind of Angel – like some of you, I have done things that I despise myself for.

So here goes…

1. When I was at school I was bullied. I was called ‘chocolate drop’, merely because I had so many moles. Also, I was hit across the back by a fellow student with a steel pole - during a 'metal work' lesson. I have been told (hospital consultant)that I have resultant problems with the curvature of my spine I had a difficult childhood in that I was mentally and physically abused by a family member. I had nowhere to turn at the age of 11 and (somehow) survived through talking to my cat and listening to music, moreover the lyrics. I had no friends nor did I understand the meaning of the word ‘friend’. I sought comfort in food – at my heaviest I was 17.5 stone, 44 inch waist.

2. When I was 16 I left school and undertook a YTS – Youth Training Scheme. £25 a week (1983) and worked for a dealership of Vauxhall Motors in an Admin Office. I had been suffering from ‘nocturnal enuresis’ (wetting the bed at night whilst asleep) from the age of 12 and this continued till about a month into my first job, aged 16. There were two (psychological) reasons why I had this problem: (a) being bullied at school and (b) being abused as a child. I went through treatments like ‘amitriptyline hydrochloride’ and the infamous 'bed wetting alarm'. Neither worked but the only thing that saved me from this problem was contact with ‘normal’ human beings.


3. When I was 19 I started doing voluntary work. I think my rationale at the time was of someone who had recovered from being made to feel negative, from an early age, and moved on to feel ‘normal’. I think I felt that I had been through difficult times and had acquired a little understanding around what it was like to be forced to feel crap. I have worked for: Samaritans, a University Niteline (and been on their Education & Welfare Committee), an HIV drop-in Centre (not only open for people who were HIV+ but also their carers, friends and family) in London, where I lived and worked for six years. I also volunteered for MIND (mental health advocacy charity) and worked in a paid capacity as a Mental Health Project Worker for 2+ years, again in London. I, along the way, trained and became qualified as a Counsellor. I consider my being a CWU Rep as voluntary work – two reasons: (a) we use a lot of our own time and (b) we all put ourselves in a negative and vulnerable position with regard to Management etc (?!). I also work (2 years+) with a group of people who (are employed by Royal Mail in Plymouth) raise funds for local charities. The reason I became involved with them is because I wanted to give something back to St Luke’s Hospice who looked after my father (at home) so incredibly well. They also looked after my mother and me and I know they are but a phone call away from knocking the door to support us even now, some three+ years after the sad death of my father. Assurance indeed.

4. I have worked over the years for the Vauxhall Motors, the National Health Service, British Telecom, the Ministry of Defence, the British Railways Board, ATOC (the Association of Train Operating Companies), The Number (118118) UK Ltd, and now Royal Mail. Never before have I been treated with such a lack of dignity, and an absolute lack of respect.

5. After 25 years of paid work I am now in a new ‘era’. I am, for the first time, ashamed of the employer I work for. I dread going to work now whereas I looked forward to it for about the first two years. I am under so much pressure that I sometimes wake with ‘wet, hot water’ streaming down my face – something that is reminiscent of me during the final stages of my fathers life. It saddens me to link my honourable, loving, loved and missed father to Royal Mail. Shame indeed.

6. I lived in Spain (Vidreres, Costa Brava) for 18 months. The only reason I left is for I received a phone call from my father who told me he had cancer and so subsequently I moved back to the UK and helped my mother (retired nurse) to look after my father at home. Which we both did with love and respect. I promised my father (who was also my friend) the day before he died that I would always look after my mother and that he need not worry. I started to take pride in honouring that promise and that continues today. However (some three years+ after my father died) I am now in a position where I look after my mother who is sadly very ill. Sad indeed.

7. I visited my GP today. Discussed with him what is going on in my life, with particular regard to my ‘work’ situation. He was both fully supportive and completely annoyed around the details I gave him. He knows I cannot afford for my health to decline to such a level that I am not able to meet my responsibilities. He is as worried about me as I am. He is concerned around the treatment I receive on, seemingly, a daily basis.


8. I am fortunate to have 100% support from the CWU, my APR and Branch Secretary are behind me and I know they both will remain so. I also know that (during various CWU training courses) I have made many contacts around the country and if ‘push comes to shove’ I know that I need to make but a few phone calls and I will have support from various CWU branches around the UK. Though I feel really crap most of the time, knowing that support is ready and waiting makes me feel somewhat comforted.

9. I know I am a good person – no one has the power to change that. I am someone that will stand up and challenge wrong, unjust or unfair behaviour – no one has the power to change that. I will remain the person incredibly protective of my family, my few friends and all CWU members – no one human being on this planet has ANY chance of changing that.


Darren Pattenden aka ‘Codebreaker’






GOOD LUCK TO US ALL AND, MORE THAN ANYTHING, PLEASE, HAVE FAITH

[madelin4]

U def sound a great guy.. u stay strong, we all here to help you.

[rhino49]

.........I won't say God bless you, because I don't believe in God, I believe in man - and you are a real one. Regardless of what Royal Mail deprive you of by way of respect, you have mine and I suspect that of many others along with more friends than you would think.

Keep the faith

[TrueBlueTerrier]

The good thing about being in the union, rep or not, is that you have thousands upon thousands standing shoulder to shoulder with you. For one I am proud to be there in spirit with and for you Darren.

As the indomitable Tommo would say "Don't let the bastards grind you down"

[nelson]

Don't let the anyone grind you down

[postie28]

proud of you codebreaker. i can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to put that post on. i am sure virtually everyone on this website is your friend. i hope you never again feel that you are on your own. best wishes for every thing you do in the future mate.

[evilc]

Codebreaker :
You know where to find me if you ever need any support or just to bend my ear.

[vigilante]

IM MOVED BY YOUR STORY MATE, GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
WE ARE ALL ONE HERE, WE ALL SUPPORT EACH OTHER.
HOW THESE SWINES HAVE BROUGHT YOU DOWN IS DISGUSTING!!!
STAY FIRM MATE, THATS ALL I CAN REALLY SAY.

[DirtyHarry]

Keep your chin up, and all the very best.

[johnnyp]

Codebreaker mate after reading that 2 things
Ive not had such a bad life after all
I am now 110% up for more strike action to get justice for blokes like you,Tommo and Big Dave




GOD BLESS YOU FRIEND

[hakgirl]

Very proud of you for this post!
I know I'm not in Plymouth anymore...but you know where I am if I can help in any way.
xxx

[johnston65]

CODEBREAKER:
Just read your post and realise more than ever that there is people out there and in this job/union who are solid good people. YOU ARE ONE OF THEM. KEEP ON KEEPING ON!!!!

[greenpeppers]

good luck to You,m8.

[La]

Thankyou for sharing your story with us, very brave. You're a very nice man :)

La
xXx