POSTMANS UNIVERSAL LAWS

[Indy]

i hate being asked for letters in the street, people dont understand that a walk is just more than them.

Yup, had that on Friday... a Chinese woman asked me a the beginning of my walk if I had a letter for 220. I said that as that was towards the end of my walk so I didn't know. She eyes my bulging delivery pouch and says "What in there???" I said I can't get the mail for over 650 houses in one bag the mail for 220 if there is any is in my pouch drop I'll be with you in about an hour and half... "lair!!... why you not give me my mail" I sighed and walk away to a hail of abuse :( Why is it that customers think the only place you deliver is to THEIR house or at most their street????

[smokerjim]

i hate being asked for letters in the street, people dont understand that a walk is just more than them.

Yup, had that on Friday... a Chinese woman asked me a the beginning of my walk if I had a letter for 220. I said that as that was towards the end of my walk so I didn't know. She eyes my bulging delivery pouch and says "What in there???" I said I can't get the mail for over 650 houses in one bag the mail for 220 if there is any is in my pouch drop I'll be with you in about an hour and half... "lair!!... why you not give me my mail" I sighed and walk away to a hail of abuse :( Why is it that customers think the only place you deliver is to THEIR house or at most their street????

JUst tell people like that "I am NOT permitted to hand mail out in the street, only to post it as addressed & if you have any problems with that policy feel free to complain to my manager. If I do hand mail out in the street it is at MY discretion, because it could mean my job!"

[Indy]

i hate being asked for letters in the street, people dont understand that a walk is just more than them.

Yup, had that on Friday... a Chinese woman asked me a the beginning of my walk if I had a letter for 220. I said that as that was towards the end of my walk so I didn't know. She eyes my bulging delivery pouch and says "What in there???" I said I can't get the mail for over 650 houses in one bag the mail for 220 if there is any is in my pouch drop I'll be with you in about an hour and half... "lair!!... why you not give me my mail" I sighed and walk away to a hail of abuse :( Why is it that customers think the only place you deliver is to THEIR house or at most their street????

JUst tell people like that "I am NOT permitted to hand mail out in the street, only to post it as addressed & if you have any problems with that policy feel free to complain to my manager. If I do hand mail out in the street it is at MY discretion, because it could mean my job!"

Totally agree! If I have the items in my pouch then there are certain people on my walk who I'll dig 'em out for others get a "Sorry mail has to be put through the letterbox etc"

[scribe]

this is without the funniest thread i have read ,keep the stories coming

how about "postie why is it mail getting later and later when the papers say your delivering less

[tryforsure]

One funny incident I had a while back. I was walking down a terrace, that I had only been to a couple of times,
when a guy, with his girl, asked "Do you have any mail for me?"
I replied "I'm not sure, where do you live?"
he says "eh!, 65 the gardens!"
I'm puzzled and say "the gardens does not even go up to that number!"
He says with a puzzled expression " oh! I'm sure my brother used to live here!" he stands with thoughtful expression then finishes with "cheers anyway "
and walks off!

[wabbithunta]

Another law is that every other person you meet out on delivery when its raining has to say 'I wouldn't want your job on a day like today'!!

Then you tell them " I bet you do when it's sunny with clear blue skies all day!"
Them: "oh yes please, I'd like a job that is outside!"
Me: "Ok then.. you can do this park and loop that covers two rounds in this area. RM will expect you to do it all in 4hrs when it takes 3 people to cover and complete the two duties you are expected to do in 4hrs! One BIG reason we cut off, and you'll get mail your every other day because of this. Still want to do this job in the sun?"
Them:
Me: Hmmm.. didn't think so! :vcfo :dcfo :ncfo

[Baz1978]

Customers who politely say "morning" to you even though it's well past 1pm in the afternoon.

[Wiltshireboy]

When an EBAY fanatic, FINALLY moves off your round....another who is twice as fanatical will move into their house.

[Eric]

Ring the bell and hammer on the door for 5 minutes but they still won't answer: shelter in their porch from the rain and they are there in a flash.

[Wiltshireboy]

1: The day before annual leave, the workload will be tremendously heavy.
2:The older the person, the more crappy pointless mail/catalogues they will recieve.This is on a sliding scale with the persons age,i.e a 60 year old recieves more crap than a 40 year old.
3: Most people who ask why you are "late", still believe that there are 2 deliverys a day, so hence the confusion on seeing you out at 1500.
4: Managers are useless.its a fact of life.No use hoping for a good one to come along.Its like an easy going, non nagging wife , a fantasy creature.they dont exist.Stop hoping for one....it`s not going to happen.
5: Unemployed Chav types order considerably more parcels that you ever will.The mystery is this; a) where are they getting the money from?, and b) why are they never in to recieve aforementioned parcels? Its not like they are at work, is it?

[Wiltshireboy]

Your wanna piss and finally find a secluded place to have one. Whilst in motion a lady suddenly appears whilst your in full flow!!

Best thing that happened to me with regard to having a leak.One busy sunny day, I was doing day off cover on a huge army estate in town here.I had a bladder, bigger than a football, and was getting desperate.I finished a row of houses, that had a huge bush by the last house, so nipped behind there.There was a footpath running past the other side of the rather large bush by the way.Now, picture the scene, its a lovely hot day.Lots of nubile young semi dressed army wives bimbling about,and im stood behind the aforementioned bush, in "full flow" .Suddenly 2 army wives walk past, chatting about being pissed last night.As they get near to where I am, my phone rings.(the standard nokia tune).Im trying to piss for all im worth at this rate.One turns to the other ,and just says,"I think your phone`s ringing Trace !".
I was imagining trying to talk my way out of that one.Being caught with my dick in my hands, on the other side of a bush by 2 women!!

[clashcityrocker]

The new lino is thicker than the last lino.

[mdm]

The new lino is thicker than the last lino.

Is that even possible?

[George door to dawes]

Your wanna piss and finally find a secluded place to have one. Whilst in motion a lady suddenly appears whilst your in full flow!!

Best thing that happened to me with regard to having a leak.One busy sunny day, I was doing day off cover on a huge army estate in town here.I had a bladder, bigger than a football, and was getting desperate.I finished a row of houses, that had a huge bush by the last house, so nipped behind there.There was a footpath running past the other side of the rather large bush by the way.Now, picture the scene, its a lovely hot day.Lots of nubile young semi dressed army wives bimbling about,and im stood behind the aforementioned bush, in "full flow" .Suddenly 2 army wives walk past, chatting about being pissed last night.As they get near to where I am, my phone rings.(the standard nokia tune).Im trying to piss for all im worth at this rate.One turns to the other ,and just says,"I think your phone`s ringing Trace !".
I was imagining trying to talk my way out of that one.Being caught with my dick in my hands, on the other side of a bush by 2 women!!

Great story! I had a similar incident not long ago. Struggled around for hours with a full bladder on a blind walk desperately trying to find somewhere to relieve myself. Eventually find a quiet corner and mid flow iam interrupted by a young boy shouting to me 'Mr Postie do you have any elastic bands'!!!

[jessicarabbit]

The last loop of 6 doesn't take 40 minutes like the computer says