Things Customers Say

[mrro]

Worst thing has to be when you have delivered something and they come out the house into a busy area shouting "POSTIE POSTIE YOU HAVE DELIVERED THIS AND ITS NOT FOR ME" everyone turns round looks at you and thinks wow what a clown cant even read and deliver to right house!!
When loud customer finally gets to you she whispers " she died 3 years ago" you walk off with mail in hand with everyone thats just witnessed this debarcle thinking your the most clueless blithering idiot that ever existed!!

[mrro]

Next one is a absolute classic that has 100% happened to us all and the more it happens the more satisfaction you get!
you knock on customers door with a odd shaped packet that could be heavy or light.. also with the packet you may have several letters..
This is the best part... customer comes to door and opens it and although appearing fully clothed and seemingly nothing to hide they decide to only part open the door and stretch a long arm out with one hand opening in front of you...
At first when this happened i would warn the customer that they may want to get 2 hands at the ready as there is a fair pile here or uneven weight.... Now though i just think fine you think you can handle this lot in one hand be my guest!! the feeling as you pile the load into customers open hand just to see the whole lot fall off either side and onto the floor or even better onto the mat outside there house as they madly scramble to try recover it is priceless!!!
You must at this point remain strong as at 1st you may be tempted to bend down and help them pick it all up but as you experience it a few times you just turn round with a big smile on your face and walk away thinking " surely you didnt think you can handle all that with just one hand??????"" hahahaha

[TrueBlueTerrier]

You must enjoy the sun in your job. Always said as I am standing in a small pool of my own sweat.

[DGP1]

You must enjoy the sun in your job. Always said as I am standing in a small pool of my own sweat.

A little sweaty dog standing at the doorstep you must've looked really sad

[greyshark]

You must enjoy the sun in your job. Always said as I am standing in a small pool of my own sweat.

"The weather's better!"
"You must be happy to be working in this weather!"
No, I'm not, it's far too bloody hot.

"What happened to x? He was such a good postman, he did this round for 20 years. He used to get here before 9 o' clock.".

"Where's yer bike?"
"I bet you're slower using that trolley"
I hear this about 10 times every day.

"We're waiting for a packet..."
I feel like saying, If I had a packet for you, don't you think I'd deliver it? And if I don't have one, what do you expect me to do to find it?

[TrueBlueTerrier]

You must enjoy the sun in your job. Always said as I am standing in a small pool of my own sweat.

A little sweaty dog standing at the doorstep you must've looked really sad

Not a bit

[DGP1]

You must enjoy the sun in your job. Always said as I am standing in a small pool of my own sweat.

A little sweaty dog standing at the doorstep you must've looked really sad

Not a bit

Cute............I'm not sure if it's a problem with my tastes or your photo collection

[pinstripe]

I did the same round for almost 10 years. I knew almost everyone on it and they knew me, or so I thought. One day just before coming off the round, an old guy, who had seen me almost every day for 10 years asked if I was the regular postie.
"Yes, I am"
"Oh, I thought you were a lot younger"
Thanks a lot.

[Lateagainpostie]

On the odd occasion I do a misdelivery and the customer gleefully comes out and informs it's wrong and did I never learn to read, I always respond with a "when I get it right I hope you'll be just as quick to give me a pat on the back"

If customers complain the mail is late I always say "Actually this is tomorrows, so it's a day early" I love the confused look on their faces.

[taurus88]

I've had this a few times now. I deliver a packet to a house. They open the door, close the door, the transaction is complete. I'm halfway along the street when I hear the dreaded call, that horrible summons from that horrible customer, the one that you know you are duty bound to respond to. "POSTIE, POSTIE" they shout in their ugly voices. I traipse back to the address.

"This packet isn't for me. It's for somewhere in Scunthorpe/Southampton/Switzerland. The address isn't anything like mine."
They point to the address, with the manner of somebody who is correcting a complete and utter idiot.
"Turn it around," says I.
They turn it around, with the manner of somebody who is humouring a complete and utter idiot.
"That's your address," says I. "That's your address, under where it says DELIVER TO:. That's your address, and that's your name. That means it's to be delivered to you."
As if to try and find fault with me, they turn the package back around to where it says 'return address', as if I could not possibly know a damned thing about this job that I do five days of the week. But they never find any solace in the cold glare of words upon paper. At the last they run away, in the manner of somebody who is a complete and utter idiot (who has also embarrassed themselves).

[eian687]

is that 2 sugars and 2 toast today postie................will be next week i am covering a rural, tea and toast every day

[Caniel]

"here you go postie this person don't live at this address" (stick it in the postbox with gone away on/unknown, I don't want it)

[nickijt32]

On my round last week I was bout to post letter through letterbox when the door flew open and a lad in late teens roared at me--i could hear all his mates in the living room peeing themselves laughing. Have never jumped so much in my life--had me chuckling to myself for rest of the day though

[baleout999]

Knocked on door couple of days ago. No reply, so I left 739.

Carried on walking down the road when guy runs up to me waving the card. Stopped me and asked why i didn't knock. Said " I did". He replied "No you didn't. I was watching you !" FFS

[clashcityrocker]

You're a handsome devil.