TV Sitcom - Help Needed

[sodiium]

to lock the keys inside a collection van with live mail, crow bars are handy tools.

or lock urself out of the van with the engine running.....then it starts to rain & the spares keys are 15 miles away

[moyas slave]

a few years back our van driver was out delivering rurals and after delivering one farm he was half way down the farm track back to the road when he realised he had a parcel in the back for for a house one the main road. he got out, opened the back and stepped in to find the packet.

wind blew the door shut and he was locked inside miles from anywhere and his phone was in the cab.

eventually the farmer arrived home to and seeing there was a royal mail van blocking his track he got out to investigate, the driver was shouting and carrying on. farmer immediately thinks the van has been robbed and the postie left locked in the back.

he runs to the farm and returns with a sledge hammer eventually gaining access to the rear.

the van was a right old state, rear doors looked like terminator has ripped them off.

certainly gave us all a good laugh back at the office.

[General Mannerheim]

Have you tried Viz plenty of jolly postman japes in there?
I can't wait for the sitcom how funny will that be?
Maybe you could have a spick and span Postie with all the newest clobber and half a bag swinging in the light summer breeze and tee hee he gets a letter to somebody called Richard Head and mis delivers it to a snobby woman who likes to be called Mrs Bouquet when shes really called Mrs Bucket.....Laugh?.... I nearly did.

Or maybe you could just film the entire next set of negotiations between Royal Mail and the CWU,plenty of backslapping and jolly japes there,you could get two bumbling fat gormless t.urds to be head of the CWU not that they'd be type cast or any thing.

Or you could do a sitcom where a load of Christmas cards/kids presents don't get delivered and cut to bone idle overpaid posties sitting in the office drinking coffee and reading the paper and Call it NOT GOING OUT.

[TrueBlueTerrier]

One time, I was walking up someone's path toward their front door, when the door opened. The owner of the house emerged, and as I extended my arm to give him his mail, he said "If they are bills, you can take them back."

Never happened to me!

Answer - No they are not bills, I gave him his mail earlier.

Cue customer.

[krussel]

One unfortunate Postie was up on a charge for leaving his van un-locked whilst delivering a parcel and having a bag of mail stolen from the back. The old union Rep was a bit of a bully and had a right go at him over and over again telling him how stupid he had been and how it was almost certain that he would lose his job and deserved it.

As the day for the hearing got closer the Postie got more and more nervous. The Rep still kept laying in to him making it worse. The day of the hearing arrives and the Postie and Rep have to go out to complete their first deliveries. However only the Postie comes back on time and there is no sign of the Rep So the pooping himself Postie has to attend the hearing himself and keeps his job and just receives a stiff warning

The Rep has spent all morning at the Police station as he not only left his van (full of parcels and bags) open but running with the keys and someone drove it off (only to be found a week later 250 miles away). The Rep then went sick with stress (and embarrasment) and was fired two weeks later at his own hearing

[Lounge Lizard]

Old Postman Fred has been on the same round for twenty years and the time has come for him to retire,on his last day he's plodding round when he comes to Mr and mrs jones house at No 28.When he reaches the door Mrs jones opens the door wearing nothig but a see through negligee,without a word the tall blonde athletic woman grabs freds arm and pulls him inside..she lays him down over the kitchen table and shags him seven ways from sunday!! hours they are at it,once theyr'e all done Mrs Smith starts cooking him a hearty english breakfast which fred sits down to and tucks in,whilst eating she slides up beside him and puts a £1 coin on the table,'what's that for ?'asks fred..Well says Mrs Smith when i told my husband this morning that today was your last day i asked him what i should give you? He replied 'f**k him..give him a pound!'..Breakfast was my idea!!.

[BELIAL]

My funniest moment
" this is a 3 hour walk"

My most memorable
"this is the pension you will get"
TV sitcom writer,it ain't f***ing funny. Still you'll find out soon enough

[MisterPostie]

Please please enlighten the bloke and let him know that any version of "If it's bills you can keep them" type comments just aren't funny.

EDIT: Ok, I should read the thread before posting in future...someone already beat me to it

[POSTMAN]

Make sure the site gets a mention!!
Also see the link for some links...
http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ?f=1&t=886" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Thanks for that, will defo make sure this site is credited.

Ok you can also use my joke for free as well...
"We're supposed to be the new milkmen,but no one's ever had my cream"

[norbert]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorted_(TV_series" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;) http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/sorted/yourreviews.shtml" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; there's clips on the website but I can't say if they work as my Hackintosh installation broke and I'm temporarily using Ubuntu

I agree with Smoker Jim , it was ridiculous with the lightweight bags and the posties propping up the bar every night ....about as realistic as Postman Omar in " Arse All Force " . Apparently RM would not cooperate with the Production company in any way , fittings , uniform etc . http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/sorted/yourr ... ode2.shtml" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

As a drama it was " entertaining " and at the risk of being accused of being Andy Gray , it had good reviews from women . Hope this helps .

As for Postman Plod in " Viz " he does everything that RM would have you shot at dawn for . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postman_Plod" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; .....whoever did it must have worked as a cassie in summer or at Xmas and took everything in

[norbert]

Definitely not realistic ....the uniform looks smart .....it's usually the staff that get shafted up the arse ....with some help from the union

[pickaname]

The last TV show based around posties was crap...why bother writing another one

[Lounge Lizard]

Make sure the site gets a mention!!
Also see the link for some links...
http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ?f=1&t=886" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Thanks for that, will defo make sure this site is credited.

Ok you can also use my joke for free as well...
"We're supposed to be the new milkmen,but no one's ever had my cream"

... or emptied your sack.

[krussel]

Make sure the site gets a mention!!
Also see the link for some links...
http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ?f=1&t=886" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Thanks for that, will defo make sure this site is credited.

Ok you can also use my joke for free as well...
"We're supposed to be the new milkmen,but no one's ever had my cream"

... or emptied your sack.

Naughty room Lizard

[Lounge Lizard]

Make sure the site gets a mention!!
Also see the link for some links...
http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ?f=1&t=886" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Thanks for that, will defo make sure this site is credited.

Ok you can also use my joke for free as well...
"We're supposed to be the new milkmen,but no one's ever had my cream"

... or emptied your sack.

Naughty room Lizard

- never been there before. Where is it ?