Number 2's and 3's

[proper postie]

What the f**k is a number 3?

Begins with W.

As for some place closer to go than the office, i spose its alright if your banging a bird on delivery but i aint, infact i fookin would'nt if you saw the state of em on my walk,proper munters,kidded up to the eye balls aswell.

Brings new meaning to relief on duty I suppose.

Heard it all now,posties teasing one out on their duty ffs!

This about you by any chance?
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 003312606/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[DirtyHarry]

What the f**k is a number 3?

Begins with W.

As for some place closer to go than the office, i spose its alright if your banging a bird on delivery but i aint, infact i fookin would'nt if you saw the state of em on my walk,proper munters,kidded up to the eye balls aswell.

Brings new meaning to relief on duty I suppose.

Heard it all now,posties teasing one out on their duty ffs!

This about you by any chance?
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 003312606/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I think he meant, wee.

[jockstrapp]

Egg Fried Rice

What the f#cks an "EGG FRIED RICE"

[creedscat]

What the f**k is a number 3?

Begins with W.

As for some place closer to go than the office, i spose its alright if your banging a bird on delivery but i aint, infact i fookin would'nt if you saw the state of em on my walk,proper munters,kidded up to the eye balls aswell.

Brings new meaning to relief on duty I suppose.

Heard it all now,posties teasing one out on their duty ffs!

This about you by any chance?
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 003312606/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I think he meant, wee.

Cheers harry, i think proper postie will click on in abit eh.

[dvbuk55]

Well you'll not be needing one of those hso

dvbuk, I am so shocked by your comment, I think I need a stiff one

Ok hso, that's enough, go and stand in the corner and consider yourself chastised

[headscrewedon]

I've just been 'happy-slapped'

[Stormproof]

Ok so we know what Numbers 1, 2 and 3 are now, but what is Number 6

[dvbuk55]

I've just been 'happy-slapped'

I've got a feeling I shouldn't ask what that is

[PostieWithTheMostie!]

A guy or 2 in my office have sh@t themselves out on duty only for the DOM to go pick em up...

By British Law - if a Postman needs to use the toilet then a resident on his walk must let them in to use the WC. thats toilet not short for a wank!ng cubicle...

Just like the old British bye-Law were if a pregnant woman needs a p!ss and is near a Police-man he must let her use his Helmet to urinate in..

And talking about old British Bye-Laws you can be arrested for having no money on you...Vacrancy it's called so under this new agreement - Sorry pay-cut how many posties, with no cash in his pockets could be lifted if the Police use this as an excuse and pull you up.

[proper postie]

What the f**k is a number 3?

Begins with W.

As for some place closer to go than the office, i spose its alright if your banging a bird on delivery but i aint, infact i fookin would'nt if you saw the state of em on my walk,proper munters,kidded up to the eye balls aswell.

Brings new meaning to relief on duty I suppose.

Heard it all now,posties teasing one out on their duty ffs!

This about you by any chance?
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 003312606/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I think he meant, wee.

A wee is a number 1,a shite is a number 2,wtf is a number 3 then?!?!

[Stormproof]

By British Law - if a Postman needs to use the toilet then a resident on his walk must let them in to use the WC.

I guess it depends what sort of place you are delivering to, some of them you don't want to even open the gate let alone their bathroom door

It is still illegal for cab drivers to carry rabid dogs or indeed corpses and by law they must ask each and every passenger if they have small pox or 'The Plague'.

[windermeredave]

last year some guy caught me having a leak outside his house, he wanted my name, I said FFS mate ain`t you ever been caught short?.. ok go and complain but you sure as hell ain`t getting my name!!! never heard another thing about it.

[DirtyHarry]

What the f**k is a number 3?

Begins with W.

As for some place closer to go than the office, i spose its alright if your banging a bird on delivery but i aint, infact i fookin would'nt if you saw the state of em on my walk,proper munters,kidded up to the eye balls aswell.

Brings new meaning to relief on duty I suppose.

Heard it all now,posties teasing one out on their duty ffs!

This about you by any chance?
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 003312606/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I think he meant, wee.

A wee is a number 1,a shite is a number 2,wtf is a number 3 then?!?!

Well, that low down in the pecking order of bodily functions, I'd assume a number 3 is a Dom.

[pinstripe]

Just like the old British bye-Law were if a pregnant woman needs a p!ss and is near a Police-man he must let her use his Helmet to urinate in..

That is correct. Taken from the Times Online
Other curious laws confirm that it is illegal for taxi drivers to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
(My favourite) In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle, but I think it has to be your own car.
In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.

But it's not just the UK that has some strange laws, in Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

[dvbuk55]

Just like the old British bye-Law were if a pregnant woman needs a p!ss and is near a Police-man he must let her use his Helmet to urinate in..

That is correct. Taken from the Times Online
Other curious laws confirm that it is illegal for taxi drivers to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
(My favourite) In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle, but I think it has to be your own car.
In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.

But it's not just the UK that has some strange laws, in Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

Just phoned to cancel my holiday flight - it was only an hours layover - but you never know when the Number 3 might strike - the wife would kill me if I got my head chopped off - mind if I told the authorities the wife ............................. no I've cancelled.