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farting at work
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Exrep
- Posts: 1005
- Joined: 02 Oct 2009, 21:01
- Gender: Male
Re: farting at work
Boy o Boy did i get caught short the other week.
On the friday went to a lads leaving do and there was 2 big pots of scouse that had been made ,I had to huge bowls it was that delish then polished off a few butties.
Anyway disrupted my poo clock the follwing day and i didnt get to empty my bowls before going to work which is very unusual for me.
Got delivering felt a few rumbles and thought to myself plod and and see if you can make it .Needless to say i didnt got to my second bag which is situed in a sweet shop, thats owned by rather nice indian folk. Loaded up my satchel off i went rumbles got worse and you know when you start to go all clammy and have bouts of hot/cold well i was at that stage. Butt checks were clenched like a vice made it back the shop and asked if they had a down stairs loo and i was pointed to the back of the shop.
Rushed in no fecking door couldnt of cared less dropped my strides and gave his toilet a good seeing to ,got my third bag went on my way had a fourth bag to pick up and the embarassment was written all over the my face. As i entered the shop i could smell my mistermeaner and that was 30 mins after so god knows what it smelt like directly afterwards.
So i loaded up my bag and skuttled out of his shop head bowed i honestly thought he was going to ring my boss and say no more drop bags went in monday and kept a rather low profile. This is the first time in 14 years ive been caught out this short and shows that R/M should and we know they dont plan walks around toliets.
On the friday went to a lads leaving do and there was 2 big pots of scouse that had been made ,I had to huge bowls it was that delish then polished off a few butties.
Anyway disrupted my poo clock the follwing day and i didnt get to empty my bowls before going to work which is very unusual for me.
Got delivering felt a few rumbles and thought to myself plod and and see if you can make it .Needless to say i didnt got to my second bag which is situed in a sweet shop, thats owned by rather nice indian folk. Loaded up my satchel off i went rumbles got worse and you know when you start to go all clammy and have bouts of hot/cold well i was at that stage. Butt checks were clenched like a vice made it back the shop and asked if they had a down stairs loo and i was pointed to the back of the shop.
Rushed in no fecking door couldnt of cared less dropped my strides and gave his toilet a good seeing to ,got my third bag went on my way had a fourth bag to pick up and the embarassment was written all over the my face. As i entered the shop i could smell my mistermeaner and that was 30 mins after so god knows what it smelt like directly afterwards.
So i loaded up my bag and skuttled out of his shop head bowed i honestly thought he was going to ring my boss and say no more drop bags went in monday and kept a rather low profile. This is the first time in 14 years ive been caught out this short and shows that R/M should and we know they dont plan walks around toliets.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
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Cedar_Room
- Posts: 826
- Joined: 31 Aug 2007, 14:09
Re: farting at work
Im in pieces here,brilliant!MoNkEyBoY wrote:Boy o Boy did i get caught short the other week.
On the friday went to a lads leaving do and there was 2 big pots of scouse that had been made ,I had to huge bowls it was that delish then polished off a few butties.
Anyway disrupted my poo clock the follwing day and i didnt get to empty my bowls before going to work which is very unusual for me.
Got delivering felt a few rumbles and thought to myself plod and and see if you can make it .Needless to say i didnt got to my second bag which is situed in a sweet shop, thats owned by rather nice indian folk. Loaded up my satchel off i went rumbles got worse and you know when you start to go all clammy and have bouts of hot/cold well i was at that stage. Butt checks were clenched like a vice made it back the shop and asked if they had a down stairs loo and i was pointed to the back of the shop.
Rushed in no fecking door couldnt of cared less dropped my strides and gave his toilet a good seeing to ,got my third bag went on my way had a fourth bag to pick up and the embarassment was written all over the my face. As i entered the shop i could smell my mistermeaner and that was 30 mins after so god knows what it smelt like directly afterwards.
So i loaded up my bag and skuttled out of his shop head bowed i honestly thought he was going to ring my boss and say no more drop bags went in monday and kept a rather low profile. This is the first time in 14 years ive been caught out this short and shows that R/M should and we know they dont plan walks around toliets.
“Shorts,in this weather?!”
“If they’re bills I don’t want ‘em!”
“What’s she been ordering now?”
“If they’re bills I don’t want ‘em!”
“What’s she been ordering now?”
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DGP1
- Posts: 15551
- Joined: 07 Jun 2007, 20:39
- Gender: Male
- Location: Terminus
Re: farting at work
FFS the guy above is talking about having a crap in the girlfriends parents wardrobePOSTMAN wrote:Is the deal that bad we have to now talk about.................farting!
I'm preparing myself for the zombie invasion, rule number 1 - Cardio
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Pinky 1
- Posts: 1510
- Joined: 01 Mar 2009, 11:38
- Gender: Male
- Location: Wales
Re: farting at work
DGP1 wrote:FFS the guy above is talking about having a crap in the girlfriends parents wardrobePOSTMAN wrote:Is the deal that bad we have to now talk about.................farting!and the other one about clearing a shop with his 'motions' this has gone from a few farts to fullscale crap ever since the agreement came out
"Cara yn bod 'n briod , dydy 'n fawr at ca a hun 'n anad berson a 'ch angen at blina achos 'r bwyso chan 'ch buchedd "
" I like being married,, it's great to find that one special person you want to bother for the rest of your life "
" I like being married,, it's great to find that one special person you want to bother for the rest of your life "
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cardiff-nights
- MAIL CENTRES/PROCESSING
- Posts: 35
- Joined: 20 May 2009, 20:13
- Gender: Male
Re: farting at work
you could get ear protectors & shove em up your nostrils,or little bit of vicks on a tissue & waft under nostrils as required..if you cannot beat em, join em (beans on toast with grated cheese ontop should help nature take its cause) but be sly about it, drop your bomb in the designated area & walk away promptly..then snigger away to your hearts content, ..works for meunderpaidoverwalked wrote:has any1 else got any problems with people farting while ur at the ips or ur own frame.i some mornings cant even stand there because the smell.said to my dom and he says there is nothing he can do about it.
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jaylime
- Posts: 331
- Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 10:27
- Gender: Male
Re: farting at work
I always found dragging a fart down an alley was the best form of attack.
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golfgod
- Posts: 30
- Joined: 10 Mar 2010, 19:29
- Gender: Male
Re: farting at work
nothing wrong with a good fart it comes free let it go free
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Jenny Manchester
- Posts: 138
- Joined: 10 Jan 2010, 17:12
- Gender: Female
Re: farting at work
Cheeky Bastard!!!! Mr Spotless...The FraudSquad wrote:got that all the time, some people seem to enjoy having the place absolutely reeking.......one day i am going to get a pail of horsehit and rub their nose in it a revenge
plus we got a toilets with no windows, you take your life in your own hands going in there, i usually nip out to the asda across the road
and dont get me started on the mankies who only wash once a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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cardiff-nights
- MAIL CENTRES/PROCESSING
- Posts: 35
- Joined: 20 May 2009, 20:13
- Gender: Male
Re: farting at work
theres a guy that works with me, that likes to trump, he thinks its his trademark..he will come over to our smoke place & fart where he stands as loud as he can muster..one time there was a woman sat with her friend behind "dirty dicky"..he let rip & the poor girl had a face full of it, personally at the time i thought she was gonna give him a hiding, but sadly she stormed off instead.
, some people have the manners of pig, and care not, for their fellow workers, theres a time & place for flatulance 
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smokerjim
- Posts: 1921
- Joined: 13 Jun 2007, 22:27
- Gender: Male
- Location: In a corner, thinking "I've picked a bad week to give up smoking..."
Re: farting at work
Just clocked your name - you're not our manager are you? If so, stop nicking our docket, and have the grace to pretend you do a full day before you sod off to the golf coursegolfgod wrote:nothing wrong with a good fart it comes free let it go free
I don't suppose your mouth bleeds every 28 days, does it?
Mail delivery; those that can, do, those that can't, MANAGE!
Mail delivery; those that can, do, those that can't, MANAGE!
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POSTMAN
- SITE ADMINISTRATOR
- Posts: 32819
- Joined: 07 Aug 2006, 03:19
- Gender: Male
Re: farting at work
DGP1 wrote:FFS the guy above is talking about having a crap in the girlfriends parents wardrobePOSTMAN wrote:Is the deal that bad we have to now talk about.................farting!and the other one about clearing a shop with his 'motions' this has gone from a few farts to fullscale crap ever since the agreement came out
I Wrote-During Covid-Which is still relevant now
It's good to get these types of threads, the ridiculous my manager said bollox, so we can reassure ourselves that while the world is falling apart, Royal Mail managers are still being the low-life C***S they have always been.
My BFF Clash
The daily grind of having to argue your case with an intellectual pigmy of a line manager is physically and emotionally draining.
It's good to get these types of threads, the ridiculous my manager said bollox, so we can reassure ourselves that while the world is falling apart, Royal Mail managers are still being the low-life C***S they have always been.
My BFF Clash
The daily grind of having to argue your case with an intellectual pigmy of a line manager is physically and emotionally draining.
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smelly_cat_lady
- Posts: 341
- Joined: 22 Nov 2009, 15:08
- Gender: Female
- Location: On the delivery office floor looking up shorts
Re: farting at work
this is the best post i've read for ages, actually cried with laughter at some of the comments. can't say i'm one of the trouser trumpeters myself but i always have the good grace to warn my colleagues if i feel a windy pop coming on......
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krussel
- Posts: 5300
- Joined: 26 Jan 2009, 18:03
- Gender: Male
- Location: Out on the streets.
Re: farting at work
pne_postie wrote:MoNkEyBoY wrote:
Rushed in no fecking door couldnt of cared less dropped my strides and gave his toilet a good seeing to ,got my third bag went on my way had a fourth bag to pick up and the embarassment was written all over the my face. As i entered the shop i could smell my mistermeaner and that was 30 mins after so god knows what it smelt like directly afterwards.
Rows of houses all bearing down on me........I can feel their blue hands touching me.......All these things in all positions.........All these things will one day take control..........
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smudger83
- Posts: 66
- Joined: 02 Aug 2007, 21:26
Re: farting at work
jaylime wrote:I had six pints of Guinness yesterday watching the footy and a take away curry for tea afterwards.I was like a north sea foghorn this morning,and i splattered the back of the shitpan around seven oclock.And funnily enough i shower everyday and dont smell.
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jaylime
- Posts: 331
- Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 10:27
- Gender: Male
Re: farting at work
This post was started ages ago but i thought it was hilarious,thats why i put another comment on to keep it at the top of the posts.I have to admit being rather flatulent myself but I only work with 8 people and half of them are ladies over 40 so discretion is the best part of valour.I thought I was bad bad but ive worked with some proper smelly mofo's I just could never compete,god knows what they eat and drink.