AND A FUNNY THING HAPPEND TO ME WAS______

L Tommo · Post by **L Tommo** » 14 Mar 2007, 18:07

The funniest thing i ever saw on delivery was a walk i used to do i had this very posh CLOSE. So one day after a few,,, shall i say SHANDIES the night before!! I was strolling around my CLOSE when as i looked up at the Large double frosted glass doors was a little kid on what looked like a potty sitting RIGHT SLAP BANG under the letter box. Being a bit careful i slide the letters thru the box with out looking thru the glass and walked away,,, THEN i hear !NO TIMOTHY NOOOOOOOO!" I had to look back and i had to larf!!!! Little Timothy was wipe'n his arse with the mail i just delivered....

The whole rest of the round there was a Postie larfing so much i wet myself (just a little bit)

Timmy got me back,,,, Or was it his WITCHDOCTOR with the VOODOO??

Well i thought it was funny???

HOW ABOUT YOUR POSTS OF YOUR "FUNNIEST MOMENTS IN RM?"

Post by **POSTMAN** » 14 Mar 2007, 20:53

Moved to Blue Shirts.

Funnily enough,or not which really is the case,i had this bloke i used to deliver to regularly at my old place,a Taxi Driver(not sure whether that's relevent or not)but he used to answer the door in just a pair of bright white Y Fronts

Regardless of when or at what time it was always the same,he was married an all with kids

L Tommo · Post by **L Tommo** » 15 Mar 2007, 12:30

POSTMAN i bet them there undies give you a nightmare or two mate??? That bloke wanted to get into your good books

I never though that DOORSTEPPING was a very professional way to conduct ones self but in this case a must!! Take your chances with a 5 year serious

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OUT..

DONT LET THE Y FRONTS TURN YA OFF!!

ps as the tv prog from the early 80's said. L Tommo (john) aint maaaaaad!! (feck off)

kwikpost · Post by **kwikpost** » 15 Mar 2007, 16:44

few years ago now. but i was delivering to my mum and dads house. they were at the bus stop opposite with others waiting for the bus. mum shouted over. postman please could you shut our gate you keep leaving it open. i slowly crossed the road looked mum and dad up and down and gave them both a mouth full of where they could stick their gate. people at the bus stop just looked on in horror. someone rang the office and complained. i had to explain we`re a pretty close family and are all ways pissing about.

L Tommo · Post by **L Tommo** » 15 Mar 2007, 17:36

LOVE IT!!

Bet the public at the bus stop shat a brick!!

OUT..

DONT LET THE GARDEN GATE CATCH YA BOMBER JACKET LOOPS ON THE SIDE!

(how many times that happened?)

javidfreekashmir · Post by **javidfreekashmir** » 15 Mar 2007, 18:45

About 10 years ago I saw saw 4 male dogs attemping sex in a dog type version of the conga-they never show stuff like that on BBC Planet Earth!!!!!!!!!

baggee · Post by **baggee** » 15 Mar 2007, 19:00

my mate from my old office was out on delivery, it was heavy drizzle as he was walking up the path the overhanging bush got caught by his pouch and he got soaked, as he knocked on the door with a packet, the female owner opened the door in her dressing gown he passed her the packet ,said good morning and said by the way love your bush need trimming and he carried on with his delivery, the next day he was taken in the office by the manager and she had complained about the remark.

My mate said he did not mean anything by the remark

No action was taken, common sense was applied once the manager stopped laughing.

kwikpost · Post by **kwikpost** » 15 Mar 2007, 19:13

baggee wrote:my mate from my old office was out on delivery, it was heavy drizzle as he was walking up the path the overhanging bush got caught by his pouch and he got soaked, as he knocked on the door with a packet, the female owner opened the door in her dressing gown he passed her the packet ,said good morning and said by the way love your bush need trimming and he carried on with his delivery, the next day he was taken in the office by the manager and she had complained about the remark.

My mate said he did not mean anything by the remark

No action was taken, common sense was applied once the manager stopped laughing.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahha

Post by **Carnoustie** » 15 Mar 2007, 19:56

So old Fred was on his last week of deliveries before retiring after 25 years of loyal service to Royal Mail.
He reaches number 78 London Road, the last house on his walk, and walks up the same path he's walked for a quarter of a century, to deliver his last-ever letter, on his last day, when suddenly the door swings open.

He can't believe his eyes.

There's eighteen-year-old Tracy, the sweet little girl who used to wave to him from behind the curtain as a toddler, who always said a cheery hello when she was on her way to school, and who now toots hello as she drives off to her job at McDonalds, standing in the doorway in a flimsy nightie, her soft breasts almost spilling out, with her finger to her mouth, whispering 'shusshhh'

She beckons him forward, and moves her lithe young body sideways to allow Fred into the house. Closing the door behind them, she silently takes his hand and leads him upstairs, undresses him, peels off the nightie and surrenders herself to all his carnal desires

Afterwards, as Fred tries hard to get his breath back, she says 'if you get dressed and come downstairs, I've got something else waiting for you'

Still in shock, and not quite believing his luck, he does as asked and after a couple of minutes, finds Tracy in the kitchen, where there's a hot cup of tea waiting for him on the table, and a shiny pound coin.

'Listen love' he says 'that was amazing, but I have to ask... what's going on ?'

'Well' she says 'I was telling Mum the other day, that today was going to be your last-ever day as our postman, delivering your last-ever letter to your last-ever house on your last-ever walk and all she says is "So??" So I said well, shouldn't we like, well, do something for him ??'

'And what did she say ?' asks a bemused Fred.

'OH F**K HIM, GIVE HIM A POUND'

The cup of tea was all my idea, though !!!

Post by **POSTMAN** » 15 Mar 2007, 19:58

Quality boys,beats my Y Fronts

smartie · Post by **smartie** » 15 Mar 2007, 22:46

WAS ON DELIVERY A FEW YEARS AGO, I HAD A RECORDED LETTER, KNOCKED HELL OUT OF THE GLASS FRONTED DOOR THEIR DOGS WERE GOING CRAZY SO THE GUY CAME DOWN STAIRS AND TRIED TO GET THE DOGS AWAY FROM THE DOOR BUT AS HE WAS DOING THIS HIS WHITE TOWEL SLIPPED ON THE FLOOR, AS HE WAS BENDING OVER HIS ARSE WAS PRESSED AGAINST THE GLASS DOOR,

OH MY GOD WHAT A SIGHT, I COULDNT LOOK AT HIM WHEN HE EVENTUALLY OPENED THE DOOR AND SIGNED.

ANOTHER TIME WHEN WE HAD ORANGE BOOKS FOR YOU TO ENTER YOUR RECORDED ITEMS, I KNOCKED THE DOOR AND I COULD HEAR THIS GUY SHOUTING IT'S ONLY THE POSTMAN, WHAT A SHOCK WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR IN HIS BIRTHDAY SUIT AND SAW THAT I WAS WOMAN, HE SAID OH s**t I THOUGHT IT WAS THE *POSTMAN* HAAAA HE SLAMMED THE DOOR WITH EMBARRASSNENT AND I HAD TO PUSH THE BOOK AND PEN THROUGH THE LETTER BOX FOR HIM TO SIGN.
I MISS DELIVERIES SOMETIMES COS YOU DO HAVE A LAUGH AND YOU SEE A LOT,(WELL I DIDNT SEE MUCH ON THOSE OCCASSIONS)HA HA.
DELIVERING GOT TO BE THE BEST JOB, BUT THESE DAYS THEY PUT TOO MUCH ON YOU AND THEY HAVE SPOILT THE JOB.

L Tommo · Post by **L Tommo** » 16 Mar 2007, 12:12

Shame you left deliveries..

Your face was a picture too

HEHEHEHEHE!

IT WAS A BIT COLD THAT DAY THO WERNT IT!!!!

OUT..

DONT LET THE LACK OF TOWEL GET YOU DOWN SMARTIE,

Post by **POSTMAN** » 16 Mar 2007, 13:01

Few Months back,there's this frosted glass front door,delivered there,i presume noisely as this bird came to the door as i was just at the gate,pulling on her dressing gown stark bollok naked

and asked me if i'd knocked.
Open mouthed i said no then she went in,i stood there cause she then proceeded to take off the dressing gown behind the (not very frosted)frosted front door and put it on properly as she'd put it on inside out.
LUV IT!!!!

kwikpost · Post by **kwikpost** » 16 Mar 2007, 14:24

POSTMAN wrote:

Few Months back,there's this frosted glass front door,delivered there,i presume noisely as this bird came to the door as i was just at the gate,pulling on her dressing gown stark bollok naked and asked me if i'd knocked.
Open mouthed i said no then she went in,i stood there cause she then proceeded to take off the dressing gown behind the (not very frosted)frosted front door and put it on properly as she'd put it on inside out.
LUV IT!!!!

should of shouted out.......thanks lady i was looking for somewhere to park my bike

johno47 · Post by **johno47** » 16 Mar 2007, 15:59

A few years ago one the lads was on delivery, as he walked up the path to the house, he could see a man sitting the armchair having a fit, he rushed to the window and looked in only to find the guy wasnt having a fit, he had just finished off having a wank

ROYALMAILCHAT

AND A FUNNY THING HAPPEND TO ME WAS______

AND A FUNNY THING HAPPEND TO ME WAS______

L Tommo you're a nutter!!!

POSTMAN... BEWARE OF THE KILLA WHITE Y FRONTS!!!

Nice One Kwikpost..

Not a true story but ...

IT WAS WORTH THE PRICE OF A RECORDED SMARTIE...

Smartie pricked my memory!!!

Re: Smartie pricked my memory!!!