Office banter ... Posties vs Posties

[waffler]

A few years back most days were a riot in my office, stiil happens now occasionally when we get hammered. There would be the farmyard noises, cows, sheep and chickens etc. then a rumble in the jungle monkeys, chimps and exotic birds on heat against a background of jungle drums using the delivery benches . Wondered what the public thought when they passed by with all this flooding out of the open windows! The screws tried to stop it but each aisle would blame the one next to it so they gave up. One of the lads was an army fan and part time in the TA, he had a hand operated air-raid siren which him and a mate wound up one morning at six don't know what the retirement flats behind the yard made of it!

[the beautiful bd south]

HOPE WE ALL CAN JUST GET ALONG!!!

so easy yet so hard


"a common phrase in our office lol|"

[mdtomuk]

TAKE THE PEE OUT OF YOURSELF - DO IT OFTEN, TOO OFTEN, AND VERY LOUDLY, VERY OFTEN!! IT'S GREAT, I'M GREAT! I GRATE!!!

OH YES, ONE OF OUR NUMBER PUSHES A YORK'S BASE UP AND DOWN, SOUNDS LIKE BED-SPRINGS. WELL YOU JUST GOTTA JOIN IN!

[billyb8]

It gets vicious in my office show weakness and you are it.

[Post Off]

We're always extracting the urine out of each other. I mean, it's only fair, right? After all, no ones perfect. Same old faces and all that.

Here's one that you're all probably familiar with; someone sneezes, and a few people shout out, "Go sick!" Of course, I like to add my own to the mix, as it were, and shout out, "How can he (go sick). He already is!"

When a certain person comes in in the morning it's, "Morning w*nker, morning t*sser." "Oh, hello c*nty!" Or, words to that effect.

And then, there are all of the silly girlie nick names too. Unfortunately, we have one chap at work who can be a complete plonker at times, and who insists on calling some blokes by their (or, his perceived) alternative feminine names. So, instead of saying John, it might be Joan instead. For Andy, it might be Mandy. Those names are only examples, but I guess you get the picture.

I suppose the funniest moments are had when we're all finally off the main inward sorting and are then throwing off our own work. There is a small clique of us who all enjoy joining in the work banter -- up to a point. The best one is when we set up another work mate into saying something that we've all heard before. We let them know how bored we are when we all start yawning in unison.

It's great fun, really, especially when someone who we don't particularly enjoy listening to enters our domain to also get a round of ear bashing with a volley of unanimous yawns.

...I can hear you yawning.

[simply_the_best]

One of the blokes in our office got trained on a rural and was saying how easy it was, it is a rural with quite steep driveways, one of the guys told me that the worst steep drive way had a house at the top that he had never delivered to in the 5 years he had been on the run. i made up a special in the locker addressed to this house, it was just an empty envelope with the address on the front and asked him not to p739 it, it was to be returned to sender if no one in.

Off he goes on monday morning with this registered letter to a bastard of a house, turns out he posted the thing into the wrong house which was empty he managed to get a stick and some cellotape and fished the thing out and took it to the proper house, which was of course empty, the return address was just my postcode


He took it in good fun

[islfor]

I write messages on D2D cardboard box and cut them to the size of car number plates and put them over the other posties & managers car plates (at the back) and laugh as they drive around for days not knowing.
The best ones we had was 1GAY, I love Take That (love done in red heart shape), GAY BOY, DUM69, TWAT, ARSE & TINY COCK.

[NWpostie]

It gets vicious in my office show weakness and you are it.

I know of one office where some of the banter is close to the bone and quite vicious, it got to the stage where some people are not speaking to each other, but then those people who start it are quite nasty themselves and don't like it when the same sh1t back.
In fact there was 3 people in one incident involved got suspended and were lucky to get their jobs back.

Me ? I try to stay out of it, I pick my friends carefully and we know how far we can go

[not me]

what gets me is how nothing is forgotten,stuff that happened over a decade ago is still dragged up

[lifesentence]

Most of the Banter has been stopped in our office due to political correctness and Dignity and respect.
Certain people you can say things to and they will take it in the jest it is meant but certain other people hear it and report you even if it was not said to them.

You have to be really carefull what you say now and check who is around before you say it otherwise you will have a grievance in againt you.

Germany used to be like that 60 odd years ago. Some things never change.

[BettySwollocks]

Until recently, we had a "Nasty C**t" of the week award, where the posties in one particular isle in the office (approx 10 staff),
would vote for the person they considered to have been the most obnoxious over that week, we even had a trophy,
i actually won "Nasty C**t" of the year 2007/08, my parents would have been so proud

[DGP1]

Until recently, we had a "Nasty C**t" of the week award, where the posties in one particular isle in the office (approx 10 staff),
would vote for the person they considered to have been the most obnoxious over that week, we even had a trophy,
i actually won "Nasty C**t" of the year 2007/08, my parents would have been so proud

In my office the DOM would get it every week

I take it back because a c**t can be useful.

[frontdesker]

zoo animal noises is my favorite espec when the managers ask us up to the sorting, monkeys, lions, bears, snakes, mostly monkeys i love it

also banging a mail tray behind the ips when someone is sorting...think its a letter bomb

handfull of rubber bands being thrown over you as you prep from the person over the other side of you

[stokes11eg]

It was a hot summers day and careless whisper was on the radio, one of the guys who had transferred from Sheffield to Cambridge said "It's wam (warm) isn't it" to which someone came strait back with " No i think it's George Michael actually"

Aye-- the funs gone out of our office too. I remember when on the quiet days, Managers didn't mind you having a bit of fun when waiting for the second van, they even used to join in, and some of them even had a SENSE OF HUMOUR!

[biteback1]

we have a little short arse manager in our office and every time he goes on the tannoy all you can hear is 20 blokes singing "hi ho hi ho its off to work we go" in unison