cheap petrol for delivery staff who use their cars

glenfiddich · Post by **glenfiddich** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:13

http://www.petroldirect.com/index.htm

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:16

Very funny

but what will be even funnier is when ever the tax man comes to the door looking for the 60-70p in tax that he's due.

Ordering from us is safe and easy! Just enter the desired quantity of the fuel you need, and we'll package it up and send it to you in the post, first class, delivered straight through your letterbox. No hassle. No worries.

I can see lots of postmen getting mugged not for the giros or cash but for those special envelopes that contain fuel

but seriously could we just doorstep them by hiding it under the box with the diamond and gold rolex in it.

What if there's a power failure in the DO or the MC you'd have to light your lighter to see where you are and then - whoosh all the envelopes are suddenly contributing to the falling volumes (not to mention the falling roof/posties).

saru · Post by **saru** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:26

It's a joke.......http://www.petroldirect.com/about-us.htm

I did think when it got to the description for rainbow diesel there was something funny about it. Even funnier when I saw the prices. I WISH!!!!

dohnut · Post by **dohnut** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:27

Is this a legit site? or am I missing something, if it was real it would be a very good idea.

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:32

Vin Dieselâ„¢ (biofuel) @30p/750ml

I want some of that

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:35

Rainbow Diesels

We can colour your diesel any way you like it - for the very first time, you can have a fuel that coordinates with your corporate livery. At present we can supply Orange, Blue, Yellow and Purple Diesel for only a small mark-up on our standard prices.

Red diesel can only be used on agricultural machines, oh wait thats what we drive so we'll be OK

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:36

Malta - the home of the long-distance truck

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:38

Antimatter

Recent advances in particle research have made it possible to create antimatter on a commercial scale for the very first time.

Traditionally suited to deep range space craft, it is actually possible now to fit a compact matter-antimatter annihilation chamber into most larger cars and trucks. Typically, just a few grams of antimatter will be enough to power your car for life.

Our specialists will also arrange an engine conversion for you. Please contact us for a quotation.

Right, now I want this for my car

what's the number again

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:41

Crystal Energy

The healing power of crystals has been known for some time - new research shows that they can be used as a source of automotive power too.

Working with Europe's leading metaphysicists, we are in the process of creating the right mix of crystals in order to not only power your car indefinitely, but also to spread karmic joy throughout your local community.

Coming soon. Please contact us for more details.

I've changed my mind, I want Crystal power because sometimes I need to spread karmic joy to some of the communities I have to deliver to

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:44

Petrelâ„¢

Many people consider seabirds to be a pest - they create a mess, are very noisy and can spread disease. At Petrol Direct we see seabirds differently - as one of nature's great bounties.

Using a specially patented process along with our partners, the Shanghai Biofuel and Noodle Corporation (SBNC) we have developed Petrelâ„¢ a fuel source made from a mixture of seabird guano, combined with the rendered down, fermented and then distilled corpses of a variety of common gulls, albatrosses and terns. Tests have shown that this gives an fuel very closely equivalent to standard 95 RON unleaded petrol. Another advantage with Petrelâ„¢ is that government regulations count it as a foodstuff, so duty is only the standard 17.5% rate of VAT.

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:50

I can't believe how cheap they are - I ordered thirty litres of super unleaded and it was there, next day, left on my doorstep in 2 litre plastic bottles.

There, and we thought the postal system was falling apart

although maybe he should've P739'd it

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Apr 2008, 15:54

Petrol Direct Home > Affiliate Programme

Very soon we will be launching our affiliate programme - this will allow owners of other web sites to benefit from promoting Petrol Direct on their sites. We understand that for a lot of webmasters who run automotive sites that earnings can be slim - with Petrol Direct you can market something that everybody who visits your site will want!

This is how it works.. for every order that is placed through the affiliate link on your site, we will pay you a generous 2% commission! But the clever part is this.. we'll pay you in fuel! If someone orders 100 litres of super unleaded, then we'll send you 2 litres of the same fuel at the end of the month! The same applies for leaded petrol and diesel.. it doesn't matter what your visitors order, we'll send you 2% of the fuel as commission every month.

What's better is that there's no minimum commission amount - even if you sell just 1 litre of fuel, we'll send you 20ml at the end of the month in a jiffy bag.

We're busy finalising the programme right at the moment.. so check back soon!

Maybe POSTMAN can be an affiliate

Darren Bent · Post by **Darren Bent** » 28 Apr 2008, 16:14

Petrol in jiffy bag. Ha Ha sound like an wonderful plan from Arthur Daley and Del Boy.