its time to lighten the tone.best one liners

[PostfromNotts]

I was once struggling with a very rusty letterbox.

I then saw the lady of the house in question in the street and................. I said to her without thinking 'You must have the tightest box in the city' err for one minute I'd turned into Sid James!!!

[simply_the_best]

After walking past their house the customer comes running out saying"nothing for me postie?"


Does ma head in that

[somerset]

what's the best thing to say when your stopped by someone during your round and being asked if they got any post...be it 100yards away from there house or as most time youve absolutely no idea who they are or where they live?

Under no circumstances do you hand over post to someone in the street. Unless you are 100% sure you know them? You could be handing out post for a woman seeking divorce etc which could get into her husbands hands?

[somerset]

and if you speak with a brummy accent i may have to say hi bri

Do i know you?

[Thorby Bislam]

My favourite retort (based on a true story) to customers with dogs who "Won't bite you" is,
"Someone said that to a colleague of mine once, he ended up with 16 stitches in his leg and the dog was put down by tea time".
It always seems to get the dog secured or indoors for some reason.

Consider that nicked.