its time to lighten the tone.best one liners

Post by **POSTMAN** » 27 Feb 2008, 16:05

Moved to Blue Shirts,and also have a look in here for some good threads.

http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/forum/vi ... .php?t=886

Post by **rhino49** » 27 Feb 2008, 16:46

cantypeANDSHOUTS wrote:
POSTMAN wrote:Moved to Blue Shirts,and also have a look in here for some good threads.

http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/forum/vi ... .php?t=886
postie,what are the rules regarding which room to post in....i would have thought blue shirts was for managment types(blue collar) .surely this topic is canteen talk....

im confussed again

"Blueshirts" refers to the workforce traditionally wearing the pale blue posties uniform shirts - now the issue has been confused by the introduction of the red polo uniform shirt and ---- wait for it -----if we mix them together we will be where RM want us to be ---- marooned

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 27 Feb 2008, 16:49

rhino49 wrote:
cantypeANDSHOUTS wrote:
POSTMAN wrote:Moved to Blue Shirts,and also have a look in here for some good threads.

http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/forum/vi ... .php?t=886
postie,what are the rules regarding which room to post in....i would have thought blue shirts was for managment types(blue collar) .surely this topic is canteen talk....

im confussed again
"Blueshirts" refers to the workforce traditionally wearing the pale blue posties uniform shirts - now the issue has been confused by the introduction of the red polo uniform shirt and ---- wait for it -----if we mix them together we will be where RM want us to be ---- marooned

Anyway we're all gonna end up in (TNT) orange

Post by **TrueBlueTerrier** » 27 Feb 2008, 16:50

rhino49 wrote:
cantypeANDSHOUTS wrote:
POSTMAN wrote:Moved to Blue Shirts,and also have a look in here for some good threads.

http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/forum/vi ... .php?t=886
postie,what are the rules regarding which room to post in....i would have thought blue shirts was for managment types(blue collar) .surely this topic is canteen talk....

im confussed again
"Blueshirts" refers to the workforce traditionally wearing the pale blue posties uniform shirts - now the issue has been confused by the introduction of the red polo uniform shirt and ---- wait for it -----if we mix them together we will be where RM want us to be ---- marooned

for Rhino

One Liner: If they are Bills I don't want them.

Answer: No they are yours, I saw Bill earlier.

FellChair · Post by **FellChair** » 27 Feb 2008, 17:00

Not so much a one liner, but I'm sure this has happened to a few.

When you're out on delivery, convinced nobody is around and you let rip...only for someone to appear as if by magic and give you a look that could kill! Or, you do a silent but deadly one and someone walks rights into it!

somerset · Post by **somerset** » 27 Feb 2008, 17:00

The best i ever heard was " Parcelforce driver redelivering next day" Card stuck on front door. Parcelforce driver i will be home at five. To which he wrote " so will i"

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 27 Feb 2008, 17:02

brisomerset wrote:The best i ever heard was " Parcelforce driver redelivering next day" Card stuck on front door. Parcelforce driver i will be home at five. To which he wrote " so will i"

glenfiddich · Post by **glenfiddich** » 27 Feb 2008, 18:57

having a bit of a struggle with a packet in a letterbox one day when a council worker shouted you wouldnt have no problems if there was hair round that

greynut · Post by **greynut** » 27 Feb 2008, 18:58

I got bitten on the arse by a dog and had blood seeping out of my trooosers.

The owner said " Funny isn't it, he only bites postman! "

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 27 Feb 2008, 19:05

greynut wrote:I got bitten on the arse by a dog and had blood seeping out of my trooosers.

The owner said " Funny isn't it, he only bites postman! "

Not be funny whenever I have your dog put down

Dynamo 2 · Post by **Dynamo 2** » 27 Feb 2008, 21:50

The ones that get to me are, if ( according to the customer)I'm late, " who forget to set the alarm, then?" or " had a bit of a lie in this morning, did we?"

Sandyman · Post by **Sandyman** » 28 Feb 2008, 00:18

Customer one liner No 1- "He won't bite you"
is usually followed by:
Customer one liner No 2 - "He's never done that before"
is usually followed by:
Customer one liner No 3 - "It's your bag he doesn't like"

My favourite retort (based on a true story) to customers with dogs who "Won't bite you" is,
"Someone said that to a colleague of mine once, he ended up with 16 stitches in his leg and the dog was put down by tea time".
It always seems to get the dog secured or indoors for some reason.

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Feb 2008, 09:02

Or 'My dog won't bite you'
and after it has bitten you that's followed by 'It's not my dog'

Thank you, that joke was first used by Alexander the Great in 500BC

Post by **TrueBlueTerrier** » 28 Feb 2008, 10:18

disgruntledpostie1 wrote:Or 'My dog won't bite you'
and after it has bitten you that's followed by 'It's not my dog'

Thank you, that joke was first used by Alexander the Great in 500BC

and probably either Hector or Paris told the same joke during the Trojan War

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 28 Feb 2008, 10:47

TrueBlueTerrier wrote:
disgruntledpostie1 wrote:Or 'My dog won't bite you'
and after it has bitten you that's followed by 'It's not my dog'

Thank you, that joke was first used by Alexander the Great in 500BC

and probably either Hector or Paris told the same joke during the Trojan War

There was a rumour Cain and Able used it but who knows