French To Sort & Deliver UK Post

Night Tonic · Post by **Night Tonic** » 01 Apr 2008, 18:48

NEWS Shopper has seen a secret report outlining planned changes to postal services in the region which could see addresses and postcodes dramatically changed.

According to the report Royal Mail and French firm Poste Effectif are in discussions concerning the relocation of post collection, sorting and delivery services in south east London and north Kent to northern France.

Keen to break into the British mail market Poste Effectif has earmarked this region as a possible first joint venture with Royal Mail.

Improved transport links such as the Ebbsfleet International Station and the Channel Tunnel make this an "ideal primary area" to act as a "pilot scheme, the success of which will determine further expansion within the UK."

In what would be the biggest shake-up of postal services in decades, the scheme - which the report claims could be up and running by 2012 - would see mail in areas such as Bromley, Bexley and Greenwich collected by French postal workers.

It would be then be transported immediately across the Channel to a new purpose-built "mega sorting office" currently under construction in Calais which will see "state-of-the-art computer systems" sort the mail in what the report estimates to be a "25 per cent time efficiency" compared to the UK.

The sorted mail would be brought back to England and delivered to homes and businesses by a fleet of French posties.

One "suggestion for further investigation" included in the report is the introduction of new 'mail lanes' on the roads in areas of high congestion to get the post delivered speedily by the fleet of vans and lorries coming from France.

The summary of the report mentions a sticking point in the deal between Royal Mail and Poste Effectif, which would no doubt be highly controversial with English residents.

Owing to "clerical, logistical and cultural issues" the French firm is insisting that for postal purposes only the south east London and north Kent area is relisted under the French region of Nord-Pas de Calais.

This will involve people's "administrative postal" addresses changing from London or Kent to Nord-Pas de Calais, though for every other purpose than mail delivery people's addresses would remain unchanged.

Postcodes would also change from the traditional BR, DA, SE letters to the French number system. The proposal is for the southern English region to adopt a new six-figure general postcode of 804010.

The report concludes that English customers will appreciate the "likelihood of improved continental style postal services" but will oppose any changes to their postal addresses.

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 01 Apr 2008, 18:55

I didn't realise the French did April Fools day

Although when I first read it I got that usual angry feeling before I worked out it was a joke (it was a joke right?)

Post by **POSTMAN** » 01 Apr 2008, 18:58

My area an all,what's the french birds like,do they have hairy armpits like the jeeeermans!

Stormproof · Post by **Stormproof** » 01 Apr 2008, 18:58

What a fantastic idea!, Operation Stack implemented on the M20 virtually every week, this ones a winner

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 01 Apr 2008, 19:01

POSTMAN wrote: My area an all,what's the french birds like,do they have hairy armpits like the jeeeermans!

Post by **dvbuk55** » 01 Apr 2008, 19:02

POSTMAN wrote: My area an all,what's the french birds like,do they have hairy armpits like the jeeeermans!

Not just armpits - oh no - they also have a big hairy .................................................

Post by **dvbuk55** » 01 Apr 2008, 19:06

Top lips.

I was once in Italy and saw this beatiful body in a bikini, I promptly turned back to the beach, to get a full frontal so to speak and when she turned round she had the biggest nose I'd ever seen on a woman - and although this is 1st April - that's the gospel truth.

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 01 Apr 2008, 19:13

Oh it's just come to me - French Letters

OK I'll get my coat

BB brother · Post by **BB brother** » 01 Apr 2008, 20:13

I nearly went for that !

Nice one Tonic

Post by **dvbuk55** » 01 Apr 2008, 20:14

disgruntledpostie1 wrote:Oh it's just come to me - French Letters

OK I'll get my coat

I don't condom e this atttude

BB brother · Post by **BB brother** » 01 Apr 2008, 20:23

dvbuk55 wrote:
disgruntledpostie1 wrote:Oh it's just come to me - French Letters

OK I'll get my coat
I don't condom e this atttude

OHHHHHHH !

bexhil palace · Post by **bexhil palace** » 01 Apr 2008, 20:28

Blast i was about to launch into one then.

DGP1 · Post by **DGP1** » 01 Apr 2008, 20:38

What do you mean I'm late

Post by **dvbuk55** » 01 Apr 2008, 21:05

disgruntledpostie1 wrote:What do you mean I'm late

Better than being premature

billyb8 · Post by **billyb8** » 01 Apr 2008, 21:15

And I was going to ask for a Channel Tunnel TPO job.