Berevement leave advice.

Post by **postiewhite** » 09 Apr 2018, 09:54

Hi. I recently lost my dad just over a couple of weeks ago. I have been given a week's berevement leave from work and last week I went on sick on a self cert. Today I have been given a 2 week sick note from my GP which will take me to 3 days after the funeral. Iam actually feeling physically and mentally worse now than I have done with new feelings of anxiety, disturbed sleep and impared thinking. Personally im worried and feeling stressed that I still wont be ready to face work after this note runs out but will I be expected to return to work? Obviously I dont want to get into a rut and take lots of time off but as im feeling now im struggling to deal with simple tasks and fatigue whilst I get my head around this and may need a little bit of time after the funeral in 2 weeks, maybe another 2 weeks after that. What would be the best steps if I dont feel ready nearer the time the note runs out? Im keeping my boss in the loop as well as my rep.

Post by **aiden01** » 09 Apr 2018, 10:21

postiewhite wrote:Hi. I recently lost my dad just over a couple of weeks ago. I have been given a week's berevement leave from work and last week I went on sick on a self cert. Today I have been given a 2 week sick note from my GP which will take me to 3 days after the funeral. Iam actually feeling physically and mentally worse now than I have done with new feelings of anxiety, disturbed sleep and impared thinking. Personally im worried and feeling stressed that I still wont be ready to face work after this note runs out but will I be expected to return to work? Obviously I dont want to get into a rut and take lots of time off but as im feeling now im struggling to deal with simple tasks and fatigue whilst I get my head around this and may need a little bit of time after the funeral in 2 weeks, maybe another 2 weeks after that. What would be the best steps if I dont feel ready nearer the time the note runs out? Im keeping my boss in the loop as well as my rep.

Sorry for your loss. my mum passed away a few years ago and i took 5weeks off best thing i can say is take as long as you need. bereavement affects us all in different ways.

Post by **postiewhite** » 09 Apr 2018, 10:23

Thankyou for your advice. My union rep said that. My boss advised me that it would take my mind off things going back to work which stressed me a little.

jd9442 · Post by **jd9442** » 09 Apr 2018, 10:38

Do what your doctor says is best
If your doctor says going back to work may be the best option, no harm in trying
Talk things through with them, ignore manager

Post by **rambo1** » 09 Apr 2018, 11:56

I'm very sorry for your loss. For some people, going back to work will take your mind off things, for others it's just another source of stress you can do without. From what you say I think you fall into the second category. Is your doctor sympathetic? Mental health is a big big thing now so they should be. Go back to your doctor and tell them what you have said here, you're not ready to go back, I don't think. It can take time and only you will know. Have you called ' feeling first class' ? Ask your manager about it, they can set up some local councilling, before you say, I don't need councilling, maybe you don't but you would be surprised how just talking things through with someone you don't know, will help you.
One thing to bear in mind, don't go back to work too soon, as you will be on stage one for the absence anyway, you don't want to come back then go off again.
It'll take time but you'll get there, try to do some exercise and get some fresh air, just coz you're off work, don't shut yourself away, take a break away if you can too, it'll do you good to change environment for a bit.
Look after yourself and take care. It does get easier, never goes away, but gets easier.

Post by **TrueBlueTerrier** » 09 Apr 2018, 12:24

You are doing everything right, and the advice given above is perfect. As they say everyone is different my father passed away 3 years ago and I had to sort out the funeral etc. I actually went back to work the day after his funeral and it helped me cope as it was a distraction and stopped me fixating on things.

Keep your rep and manager in the loop, if you are not ready I am hopeful that the Manager will be sympathetic and if not then explain this to the doctor and I am certain they will extend your "fit note".

Deepest condolences.

Post by **postiewhite** » 09 Apr 2018, 19:11

Thanks a lot guys. I just have to make sure im right. Is it compulsory to ring my boss or can I text her? I have spoken to her twice already on the phone and she wants me to update her even though a sicknote is in place?!

Post by **aiden01** » 09 Apr 2018, 19:21

postiewhite wrote:Thanks a lot guys. I just have to make sure im right. Is it compulsory to ring my boss or can I text her? I have spoken to her twice already on the phone and she wants me to update her even though a sicknote is in place?!

Best to keep in touch with them you wont get any hassle then.