Picture perfect : Captions please

[POSTMAN]

picture perfect.jpg

Look, it clearly says that number 162 was in, you were only at number 4, you could of easily delivered to the neighbour there!

[onejontwo]

Yes, A then B, then what comes next?

[PostmanBitesDog]

Manager: "Look, you've had 162 days off for stress leave this year so far."
Postie: "Wow, is that all? Better than the rest of the team in the office, right?"

[HTPostman]

I know you’re the only employee still here, the rest are on sick leave....but you need to clear the entire office, not just your frame. Here, let me write it clearly on the board for you.

[ssdd]

Manager: "Look. You've got a 7 hour day. This is how many parcels we expect you to deliver in that time".
Postie: "Ehhhm..."

[bustedflush]

Manager: "Look, this is the amount of tracked you could have delivered while you were listening to my pointless monologue!"
Postie: "Is that before or after I've cut-off?"

[Jahpostie]

Manager: So the "Team", err management team after consultation with Si, err Simon has the following key message as you can see on the board:

Simon says we must...
Lapse every day regardless of...
Actual workload volume until...
Vacancies are filled and another key message is that...
Every frame in the depot must be cleared daily.

Postman: Err, doesn't that say SLAVE !?

[cockneyrebel]

We are reintroducing World Class Mail
Were making over a Million Pounds a day and therefore need to squander some of it, rather than offer the postmen and women a pay rise re all the blood sweat and tears of the last 18 months
What do you think ?????????????????????

[ssdd]

Manager: "162! That's how many biscuits you've had out the tin this week!"
Postie: "Well I thought it was 161, but I won't split hairs"

[Jahpostie]

Manager: We've noticed you have spare capacity on your walk after double lapsing, so we now want you to do pre-duty management coffee lapsing to fill your time. These are the management's daily requirements. Tom is a double shot skinny soya milk latte, mine is a double full fat mocha latte with caramel.....

Postman: Err I'll just stop you there, I need to speak to the Union rep.

Manager: <laughs> Union?

[ssdd]

Manager: "This is the answer....now solve for 2(x - 5 + 3x)
Postie: "Ehhm...."
Manager: "Quickly! Quickly!"

[worktotime]

look you have to cram 7 hours work into 4 , you see and its signed off .

[Jahpostie]

Manager: 162 days of consecutive lapsing during a pandemic, you're the last man standing. Well done Chris. Now clear the office.

Postman: Do I put that down as extended delivery then?

Manager: Yes, we're not a fuc*ing charity!!!!

[ssdd]

Manager: "This is our current rate of nutrition..sorry ambition...no......condition? Oh I don't know! I can't remember the word!"
Postie: "Attrition...?"
Manager: "Smart Arse!"

[ssdd]

Postie: "You like that number then?"
Manager: "Yes! And if I stand here and point to it and look sincere, it becomes REAL!"