Crap repetitive jokes from the public that make you cringe

Clared · Post by **Clared** » 29 Jun 2017, 20:01

If its not mail can you put it in the green bin !
He won`t bite you he`s really soft wouldn`t hurt a fly (the dog)
Would you like an umbrella so you don`t get wet
My mail is wet ( can`t you wrap up in plastic so it keeps dry)
why do you wear shorts in bad weather
If there bills I don`t want them
Another irritating 1 is you either knock too loud or not loud enough. And they come out say GOSH I thought you were going to break the door & the other I didn`t hear can you knock louder next time.

twoloops · Post by **twoloops** » 29 Jun 2017, 20:31

I like the one who polishing/washing/tinkering with there car "hope it's not bills?" Me "looks like a speeding ticket too me" never seen them open the mail so fast.

yellowbelly · Post by **yellowbelly** » 29 Jun 2017, 20:33

When you get a shout from halfway across the garden, miles away from the delivery point saying
'I'm over here' and they walk about 2 yards towards you, you walk 20 yards towards them and they say 'Saved your legs a few steps'

Not really a joke but bl**dy annoying when you knock on the delivery point at the front door and you get a 'Cooee' from the side door. Pretend you haven't
heard, wait and knock again and then another 'Cooee' and you know that you're going to have to walk round to the side/back door!! FFS

When you're walking down one side of the street then someone from house the other side of the street walks over
'To save you coming over have you got anything for me?', cue awkward fumblings of securing/balancing current bundle, attempt to locate
bundle for over the road, remove laggy band, attempt to find letters, extract mail. Resecure mail, try to ram bundle back in its
correct place, extract current bundle again - yeah that's saved me loads of time. I smile to myself though when I accidentally fail
to see a letter for them then when I do get round to them find a letter - must think I'm a right awkward sod!

PDA stylus - customers look at the end of it and say 'Your pen's broke'

PDA stylus again - clearly attached by the coiled spring thingy and they keep hold of it - let go FFS!!

flimflamman · Post by **flimflamman** » 29 Jun 2017, 22:18

not really a joke but
Is there any post on christmas day? or
customer, What a packet for me? i wonder what it can be?
me, i dont know,we have to charge extra for opening them

bmccoll · Post by **bmccoll** » 29 Jun 2017, 22:23

Not a joke as such... this fella keeps banging on about getting mail that's not for him, but when I'm off the relief obviously doesn't know. Anyway this guy comes running out screaming this letter is for someone else. He doesn't stay here. After walking 20 yards back he shows me the letter. It's addressed to Duchan, the customer's name is Buchan, and he can't understand me when I explain it is a misprint. These are the people who complain about misdeliveries.

Daniel-san · Post by **Daniel-san** » 29 Jun 2017, 23:32

Hot enough for ya postie?
umm yes, thank you god......

when its pissing down 'not a good day to be a postman eh...'

ahh, he's all mouth (when the dog's drooling and barking and smashing his teeth on the window trying to get to you to tear you apart)

wheres john today, day off?
no he's sick n tired of your bull s**t questions

bmccoll · Post by **bmccoll** » 30 Jun 2017, 01:25

My favourite...

a colleague was delivering a letter when he heard a 'pamp' from a car. He put the letter through the box then an irate 'customer' started on him ' I pamped, why didn't you give it to me, I was in the car pamping'... The answer... I don't know 'pamp' ... brilliant !

sillyrocket · Post by **sillyrocket** » 30 Jun 2017, 09:55

How about "Is there anything for me?, AFTER you have walked past their house!

Interested-seeker · Post by **Interested-seeker** » 30 Jun 2017, 09:59

bmccoll wrote:Not a joke as such... this fella keeps banging on about getting mail that's not for him, but when I'm off the relief obviously doesn't know. Anyway this guy comes running out screaming this letter is for someone else. He doesn't stay here. After walking 20 yards back he shows me the letter. It's addressed to Duchan, the customer's name is Buchan, and he can't understand me when I explain it is a misprint. These are the people who complain about misdeliveries.

Oh dear

yubin282 · Post by **yubin282** » 30 Jun 2017, 13:14

" i didn't know we got post on a saturday"

unfortunatley you do

tmac · Post by **tmac** » 30 Jun 2017, 14:00

Not a joke but when I was about 20 years old I was delivering .This old fella must have been 70 + come up to me and said my dad was a postman at your office you might know . I asked some of the staff know one knew him. I also had someone complain not ringing their bell loud enough I said you heard it he said just about he said if you don't ring it loud next time I will report you I said your serious and gave a look as to say f*** off

Dexydog · Post by **Dexydog** » 30 Jun 2017, 16:08

Rings bell other day.
Porch door.
Knocks as well.
No answer.
Writes card out.
Back to van.
Guy comes running out waving card, not a happy bunny.
"why didn't you knock?"
"I rang the bell, and knocked, perhaps you didn't hear."
"the bell doesn't work, and if you knock on the porch door I can't hear."
Gives him item. wouldn't you just love to say "how the frig should I know that fix your *ucking bell you tosser."

WOBBLY · Post by **WOBBLY** » 30 Jun 2017, 16:31

Walks past customers house and just entering their neighbours house when they pop their head out the front door "Anything for me?"

No I've just walked past your house for the fun of it

Isn't the weather nice/crap/wet/dry/hot

Cant say I've noticed, as I haven't been walking outside for hours

Dexydog · Post by **Dexydog** » 30 Jun 2017, 16:38

And another.
Customer moves into new build house, 3 houses in small cul-de-sac.
No numbers.
Killing mail off for weeks.
Guy comes out one day "I'm not getting any mail"
Me-"perhaps it would be helpful if you put a number on your door"
Weeks later, sign goes up on wall of house.
Guy thinks he's living in middle of country- "orchard house" on slate plaque, pretentious twat.
Mail still coming with numbers on.
Mail still getting killed off.
Guy comes out again after a week or so, "I'm still not getting any mail".
Me- "could you inform anyone who writes to you your correct address, or put a number on your house."
"what do you mean, I put a sign on house, can't you read?"
Me, might have let a little sigh out-"The mail says 19a".
"but I'm orchard house, and I'm not getting my mail".
Morning after goes into work, customer complaint, non receipt of mail.
You couldn't make up how idiotic some people are.

jamitin · Post by **jamitin** » 30 Jun 2017, 17:52

When your doing your overtime and its melting outside, your mouth is dry and absolutely fooked! and almost everyone says "your late postie" then they wait for an explanation when you've just explained to about 30 other people before them!