Everyday comments by the public

[chunk]

replies:
your very late....
no... this is tomorrows post. (

please don't walk on my grass.
ok whatever floats your boat. (compliance + sarcasm)

any fat cheques in there
dunno kettle ran out of steam this morning.

[SWIM]

'deal of the century?'

[Spedley]

please don't walk on my grass.

Sorry, I thought you were out.

[OnAFlyer]

"If they're bills you can have them back" Abso-freakin-lutely hilarious.

"Got any giros" - usually shouted by half witted workmen, showing off their comedy genius to their workmates (who embarrassingly probably earn a lot more than me)

"Have you got anything for me?" - from people you've never seen before.

"What is it"

And the classic

"Aren't you cold?" - No you daft twat or i'd be wearing a coat.

[Redyam]

Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?

(answers wrapped in just a towel) You just caught me in the shower haha

(peers around the door) sorry I havent dressed yet!

Ohh you have your shorts on!

Here is some flapjack, you look like you need it!

(answers in bikini) oh look at my bum it's sunburnt, I fell asleep in the sun!

(6 year old son answers the door) sorry my mum isn't here, she's having a poo

[Dushku2309]

Cooooeeee Postman. This is my address, but it's not my name.

This was put my through my door yesterday, I know it wasn't you, your my regular postman, it's for next door !!

I've got your xmas box for you, make sure you see me tomorrow ( But. I'm standing right here, now !!..Hello!!! )

Do you know Alan, he works for your lot, in town.. his mates all call him..Alan.

I worked for the Royal Mail, used to be a telegram boy back in the 1960's..I went to school with Paul MCartney ya know, saw the Beatles in me lunch hour..blah blah blah

Alright Postie, got anything for me ?..number 35..No, I'm not expecting anything...ahhhh.it's all rubbish, just stick them through me door will ya, lad ?

Your late today Postie, been on strike ?

Who was that lad doing your round yesterday ?..he was awful gave us everyone else's mail..and he was here about half four !!!


I hate people...they hate me

[taurus88]

I swear someone called me frodo today. I thought they were shouting after their dog, turns out they were after me. I don't look middle-earthian or anything. I guess he hasn't mastered the art of speechcraft as I have. Turned out I'd posted a card for number 7 through his, number 4's, door. The distance he walked after me was twice as far away as the distance from his house to number 7. And, I have to say, it still looked like a 4 to me.

[fishtank]

Small child comes up to me and says..."my last dad was a postman"

[clashcityrocker]

Small child comes up to me and says..."my last dad was a postman"

Did he threaten to stab you?

[ewancurze]

Someone called me Pat today........................yawn how original.

[luddite]

'Where were you yesterday postie'?
'it was my rest day'
'rest day!! wish I had one of those!'
'you do, it's called a weekend'


'that lad that was on yesterday'?
'yes, what about him'?
'he was here an hour before you'
'good for him'
'do you get paid the same'
'no idea'
'can you tell him to shut my gate and not put my post through next door'

...I kid you not

[POSTMAN]

Lots of bits in here...
http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... 05&start=0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[kingofmcr]

Someone called me Pat today........................yawn how original.

i had some over grown tit of a shcool boy ..run in front of me singing that ..felt like whacking him

[Royal_Fail]

Hey your not our normal postman....................no

What time do you call this..................overtime

[arty_morty]

On redelivering a packet that had been 739d.

I was in, did you ring the bell?

No i just stood here and hoped for the best