Depression Hell ....

[REDLETTER]

I am currently going through the same situation

At the start of the year i lost my dad through liver/bowel cancer we only knew how serious it was on the 29th dec when his doctor finally relised he wasnt a well man (that after months of being fobbed off) and he had to enter hospital on january 2nd he had passed away.

i think we were due back on the 4th jan??? but i was given 5days special leave once this had expired i was called by phone and asked would i be back in work the next day i said no so was asked to go in and speak to the manager.

To cut a long story short im now off with stress and feel very depressed i also have a number of other issues i need to deal with ie trying to keep the council house i live in, dealing with the payment of funeral which i cant afford, but the big issue is my manager in my opionion is basically bullying me back to work through phone calls and also makes me go into work to speak with him, and hes also said rm may try medically retire me?? im only 31 and have been a good worker for 10 yrs in the company.

I start councelling on monday and have a 4 week sick note which i got yesterday but i still have to go and see the manager again friday, is he acting fairly and correctly??? hes just making me feel worse

PS sorry for rambling on but i needed to get it off my chest

Just PM you!

[guyscliffe]

Hiya Guys ....
Many thanks for your help and input.
Have been down the ATOS road,with their 6 telephone appointments ....[who I must say,were very good]
I have now been referred onto a local face to face counsellor,to which i'm attending my 5th appointment out of 6 tomorrow week.
Had my medication changed on monday,so am going through fresh/different side effects at the moment with those.
So I have the support and guidance from ATOS,and also continue to be under the care of my GP's ...
I have since been diagnosed with quite a severe bout of depression,induced by grief and bareavment[among ther things ...]
They have told me that wheir I lost my dad and nan so closely together,I have literally been battered from pillar to post mentally.
Anyway,moving on .....
Not that i'm worried about it,but would welcome your feedback ...
Had to ring my boss on monday,to confirm a few details with him.
He told me that the 6 months of sickness was fast approaching,with the possibility of my wages being halved ....MONEY IS TAKING A BACK SEAT RIGHT NOW,I JUST NEED TO GET MYSELF FIT AND WELL.
But i'm just curious what sort of a slant/attitude the business will take,when and if I go over the sixth month?
Have never been faced with such a challenge before,ITS HARD,VERY HARD.
So I can sympathise with anyone who has gone/or is going through a similar hell ...
Lookin forward to your thoughts ...
Jon.

[dubnut]

Hiya Guys ....
Many thanks for your help and input.
Have been down the ATOS road,with their 6 telephone appointments ....[who I must say,were very good]
I have now been referred onto a local face to face counsellor,to which i'm attending my 5th appointment out of 6 tomorrow week.
Had my medication changed on monday,so am going through fresh/different side effects at the moment with those.
So I have the support and guidance from ATOS,and also continue to be under the care of my GP's ...
I have since been diagnosed with quite a severe bout of depression,induced by grief and bareavment[among ther things ...]
They have told me that wheir I lost my dad and nan so closely together,I have literally been battered from pillar to post mentally.
Anyway,moving on .....
Not that i'm worried about it,but would welcome your feedback ...
Had to ring my boss on monday,to confirm a few details with him.
He told me that the 6 months of sickness was fast approaching,with the possibility of my wages being halved ....MONEY IS TAKING A BACK SEAT RIGHT NOW,I JUST NEED TO GET MYSELF FIT AND WELL.
But i'm just curious what sort of a slant/attitude the business will take,when and if I go over the sixth month?
Have never been faced with such a challenge before,ITS HARD,VERY HARD.
So I can sympathise with anyone who has gone/or is going through a similar hell ...
Lookin forward to your thoughts ...
Jon.

Evything you've said before is exactly the same as Iwent through last year.
If you're in a position where the money side of things are ok(with a reduction to half pay) then it is a lot easier. In my experience I was fit and ready to get back to work before the 6 months so never had to make the decision though.
I had my inheritance to see me through which was not what I had planned for it but it was there and got used. I found ATOS and the councelling very helpful with deeling with the 20 odd yesrs of grief etc I had built up inside me so good luck & I truely believe that there is always light at the end of the tunnel nomatter how dark that tunnel is.
I just felt like I had a heavy dark cloud over me all the time but when I could I got out & about on long solitary walks it gave me chance to think & get a clear perspective on things.
Now its mostly in the past and I'm learning more & more about how my mind works, while teaching myself to control the dark thoughts in me.

Ps Dont be worried what other people think about you being off siick for such a long time. Some people fix themselves quicker than others. I never shyed away from telling people why I was off(when I eventually could speak to people) but because I wasn't working around with a plaster on my head or on crutches people just thought I was ok. The fact I was mentally exhausted from just walking to the local shop didn't matter as they never saw that. Ignore the stigma that gets associated with depression and you'll soon recover.

All the best now & for the future.

[guyscliffe]

Hiya Guys ....
Many thanks for your help and input.
Have been down the ATOS road,with their 6 telephone appointments ....[who I must say,were very good]
I have now been referred onto a local face to face counsellor,to which i'm attending my 5th appointment out of 6 tomorrow week.
Had my medication changed on monday,so am going through fresh/different side effects at the moment with those.
So I have the support and guidance from ATOS,and also continue to be under the care of my GP's ...
I have since been diagnosed with quite a severe bout of depression,induced by grief and bareavment[among ther things ...]
They have told me that wheir I lost my dad and nan so closely together,I have literally been battered from pillar to post mentally.
Anyway,moving on .....
Not that i'm worried about it,but would welcome your feedback ...
Had to ring my boss on monday,to confirm a few details with him.
He told me that the 6 months of sickness was fast approaching,with the possibility of my wages being halved ....MONEY IS TAKING A BACK SEAT RIGHT NOW,I JUST NEED TO GET MYSELF FIT AND WELL.
But i'm just curious what sort of a slant/attitude the business will take,when and if I go over the sixth month?
Have never been faced with such a challenge before,ITS HARD,VERY HARD.
So I can sympathise with anyone who has gone/or is going through a similar hell ...
Lookin forward to your thoughts ...
Jon.

Evything you've said before is exactly the same as Iwent through last year.
If you're in a position where the money side of things are ok(with a reduction to half pay) then it is a lot easier. In my experience I was fit and ready to get back to work before the 6 months so never had to make the decision though.
I had my inheritance to see me through which was not what I had planned for it but it was there and got used. I found ATOS and the councelling very helpful with deeling with the 20 odd yesrs of grief etc I had built up inside me so good luck & I truely believe that there is always light at the end of the tunnel nomatter how dark that tunnel is.
I just felt like I had a heavy dark cloud over me all the time but when I could I got out & about on long solitary walks it gave me chance to think & get a clear perspective on things.
Now its mostly in the past and I'm learning more & more about how my mind works, while teaching myself to control the dark thoughts in me.

Ps Dont be worried what other people think about you being off siick for such a long time. Some people fix themselves quicker than others. I never shyed away from telling people why I was off(when I eventually could speak to people) but because I wasn't working around with a plaster on my head or on crutches people just thought I was ok. The fact I was mentally exhausted from just walking to the local shop didn't matter as they never saw that. Ignore the stigma that gets associated with depression and you'll soon recover.

All the best now & for the future.

Thanks dubnut ...
Its not until you go through a spell of depression,that you actually realise how hard it can be.
Thanks for your reply,and kind words.

[TeeferTiger]

It's easier said than done to ignore other people making remarks about why you're not able to work/do full duties if you've not got a visible injury/affliction.

I told ATOS I was worried about going back to work because at the moment, I can't do ANY physical activity without setting off a severe headache. So, if they did get me an office job, and EVERYONE in the office is meant to go out and do a bit of lapsing, and I don't... then other people in the office would be moaning about they have to do it so why don't I have to do it?

It happened to me after my AOD in 2008. Because the sling was gone and I wasn't limping, they assumed I was 100% fit and well.I got sniped at "not limping today?!"- No, I'm not going to limp if it isn't hurting. But it's only not hurting because I've practically overdosed on painkillers and the physio said I've got to try and stop compensating for the injury. That doesn't mean I'm fit enough to go out and walk a couple of miles. And when I did give in and go out on delivery, it made the injury worse. Then I ended up going off with stress.

[krussel]

Welcome back guyscliffe.

Glad things are starting to turn around for you. These things take a lot of time and energy to heal and it cant be measured just by looking at someone as say a broken leg. You have the spring coming and the longer hours of day light just around the corner which ive known to help some people.

Do you feel up to taking on a hobby of some sort, could be anything, maybe something you enjoyed years ago and have not had the time for? For me I returned to photography which was something I had not done since leaving school. I used to get up early to be out and catch the first morning light, it gave me something to think about and do, just an idea ?

[guyscliffe]

Welcome back guyscliffe.

Glad things are starting to turn around for you. These things take a lot of time and energy to heal and it cant be measured just by looking at someone as say a broken leg. You have the spring coming and the longer hours of day light just around the corner which ive known to help some people.

Do you feel up to taking on a hobby of some sort, could be anything, maybe something you enjoyed years ago and have not had the time for? For me I returned to photography which was something I had not done since leaving school. I used to get up early to be out and catch the first morning light, it gave me something to think about and do, just an idea ?

Yep,for sure ....
Am out and about on my mountain bike,and walking with some friends and neighbours.
BUT their is still that horrible underlying feeling of anxiety,and horrible frightened feelings .....
Am deffo,starting to get a bit cherpier ...
But Im still unable to be well enough mentally,to get back to work ...[not me saying that,but my GP and councellors]
Oh well,I guess patience is the name of the game here.
Am forgetting about my wages being halved maybe,am gonna concentrate on gettin myself well again ...

[guyscliffe]

Just to update this thread,things havn't really changed ...
My health and mental wellbeing,havn't improved to much of a degree.
Am still being looked after by my GP,Counsellor,The CWU,and our IFA.
It must also be noted that my DOM,has been very supportive ....
And so the time and clock ticks on,please in the afterlife remind me NEVER to slide down the slipway into the waiting hell,that is DEPRESSION ...

[krussel]

Welcome back mate.

Glad your getting some support. Depression can be a long game to play and can take a long time to climb out of a hole.

A lot can depend on circumstances out of your control. For some it can be a new relationship that which lifts you out or perhaps a new place to live and with that new opportunities. All sorts of things that can be just around the corner and most you cant predict but its normally a long game.

Anyway glad to hear from you again, hang in there mate.

[guyscliffe]

Welcome back mate.

Glad your getting some support. Depression can be a long game to play and can take a long time to climb out of a hole.

A lot can depend on circumstances out of your control. For some it can be a new relationship that which lifts you out or perhaps a new place to live and with that new opportunities. All sorts of things that can be just around the corner and most you cant predict but its normally a long game.

Anyway glad to hear from you again, hang in there mate.

Yea,krussel ....
I didn't think that i'd still be battling this head on,10 months later .....
Fighting depression is a BATTLE.
My doctor gave me some fantastic url's,for some of the big mental health forums ....these forums are great sources,of help and advice.
Just makes you realise,just how many people around the world are battling this evil ....And not only that,the amount of different types of depression...
Diagnosing these must be a nightmare,for the medical experts.
Mine started with my dad and nan passing away,within a short space of time .......And their began my slide,other things followed ....
Thanks for getting in touch,buddy ...

[krussel]

No worries mate

I think most people have visited deppression at some time in their lives and so understand.

Keep posting on here and join in some of the topics going on