many that not do a great dealrogerdawcy wrote: but he doesn't do a great deal.
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filthy bogs(nwmmc)
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wearewolves
- MAIL CENTRES/PROCESSING
- Posts: 75
- Joined: 25 Feb 2011, 22:19
- Gender: Male
Re: filthy bogs(nwmmc)
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5plusbonusball
- Posts: 1136
- Joined: 12 Jan 2012, 20:50
- Gender: Male
- Location: up north of watford
Re: filthy bogs(nwmmc)
well there are plenty of bosses floating about there! poor Babs!glenfiddich wrote:thats nowt someone went in the doorway at ours, Babs the cleaner sorted it, she's a star.
Why are lino's paid full-time ??
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postslippete
- Posts: 4202
- Joined: 14 Jul 2014, 16:27
- Gender: Male
Re: filthy bogs(nwmmc)
How to Crap at Work
---------------------------
We have all been there but don't like to admit it. For those who hate crapping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work...
Crop Dusting: When farting, you walk round really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled.
Fly By: The act of scouting out a toilet before crapping. Walk in and check for other crappers. If there are others in the toilet, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the toilet.
Escapee: A fart that slips out whilst taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a crap in a cubicle. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved; making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
Jailbreak: When forcing a crap, several farts slip out at machine gun pace. A side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. Do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the toilet to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
Courtesy Flush: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the crap hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the crap has to stink up the toilet. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
Walk Of Shame: Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after a stinker can be an uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.
Out of the Closet Crapper: A colleague who craps at work and is proud of it. You will often see them enter the toilet with a newspaper or magazine under their arm.
Safe Havens: A seldom used toilet somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. i.e. the disabled toilet
Turd Burglar: Someone who does not realise that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a crap at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the turd burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
Camo-Cough: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the toilet that you are in the cubicle. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON or to alert potential turd burglars.
Watermelon: A crap that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water.
Uncle Ted: A toilet user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax whilst on the crapper, as you should always wait to crap when the toilet is empty. This benefits you as well as the other toilet attendees
---------------------------
We have all been there but don't like to admit it. For those who hate crapping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work...
Crop Dusting: When farting, you walk round really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled.
Fly By: The act of scouting out a toilet before crapping. Walk in and check for other crappers. If there are others in the toilet, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the toilet.
Escapee: A fart that slips out whilst taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a crap in a cubicle. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved; making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
Jailbreak: When forcing a crap, several farts slip out at machine gun pace. A side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. Do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the toilet to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
Courtesy Flush: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the crap hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the crap has to stink up the toilet. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
Walk Of Shame: Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after a stinker can be an uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist.
Out of the Closet Crapper: A colleague who craps at work and is proud of it. You will often see them enter the toilet with a newspaper or magazine under their arm.
Safe Havens: A seldom used toilet somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. i.e. the disabled toilet
Turd Burglar: Someone who does not realise that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a crap at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the turd burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
Camo-Cough: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the toilet that you are in the cubicle. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON or to alert potential turd burglars.
Watermelon: A crap that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water.
Uncle Ted: A toilet user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax whilst on the crapper, as you should always wait to crap when the toilet is empty. This benefits you as well as the other toilet attendees
On the face of it, shareholder value is the dumbest idea in the world.