Not in a good place.

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 01 Dec 2019, 17:41

I'll keep this short. I am struggling really bad with depression at the moment. I have already been off with it earlier this year due to my misses have a miscarriage last year (I bottled it up) . Was off for two weeks with it and triggered a stage 1.

Fast forward too now, I've been off for 3 weeks with a bad back so back on a stage 1 again. But this week my depression has come back with vengeance and worse than ever. I broke down twice in work last week and ended up going home on Saturday morning. This is due too another miscarriage my misses had a few years ago around this time. My auntie just died unexpectedly and my nanna is terminally I'll and due to die any time really. Plus pressure in work, thought I was coping but obviously I wasn't. Luckily got a healthy baby boy now who's 7 months old. But the wife gone back too work and I need to finish on time every day so she can go work and I can look after my son. So feeling pressured in work for that.

I don't want to go on sick because I will trigger a stage 2 but feel I've got no choice. Going doctors tomorrow. The reason I don't want to trigger a stage 2 is because I have a foot operation coming up. On a 9 week waiting list so will be off again which will trigger a stage 3. So this ain't helping with my anxiety. Sorry for the long post and my bad grammar.

scoobydo79 · Post by **scoobydo79** » 01 Dec 2019, 18:38

Time for a visit to Your GP I think and a good chat with Your wife just for starters.I can’t believe She is back at work with a 7month old at home ...good grief!!!

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 01 Dec 2019, 18:46

scoobydo79 wrote:Time for a visit to Your GP I think and a good chat with Your wife just for starters.I can’t believe She is back at work with a 7month old at home ...good grief!!!

The misses already knows everything what's going on. I've just been a typical bloke bottle it all up thinking everything is fine and everything come to a head. I just know that I will trigger a stage 3 that's not helping but will cross that bridge when I get too it.

scoobydo79 · Post by **scoobydo79** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:05

Sorry but You can’t keep going as You are.Your wife thinks You can work full time with a bad back,soon to be bad foot and then rush home to look after a 7 month old while She goes to work? Time for a reality check with Her.She can help You more than a doctor or any one on this forum.

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:10

scoobydo79 wrote:Sorry but You can’t keep going as You are.Your wife thinks You can work full time with a bad back,soon to be bad foot and then rush home to look after a 7 month old while She goes to work? Time for a reality check with Her.She can help You more than a doctor or any one on this forum.

Looking after the baby is all about team work. She looks after the baby during the day and I do the evening. She used to be a college tutor but had to give it up because we refuse to pay nearly £900 a month on child care. So she had to get a job that she can do when I get home. Still got to pay the Bill's. If we could afford her staying home we would but we can't.

Grumpyoldmailman · Post by **Grumpyoldmailman** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:14

Sounds like u have a lot going on, do u have a rep in the office u can lean on for some advice? I’m not sure what it is but some of the younger guys in the office have mentioned they are on something called family friendly which allows them to be there more for their kids, maybe someone on here will know more about it than I do. Take care of yourself, your more important than a job at Royal Mail.

Post by **rogersh** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:17

Do not know if you are aware, or wish to contact this service. From the email link you can click on employee support which in turn will give you several options.

First Class Support: Free colleague assistance service 0800 688 8777

http://www.rmgfirstclasssupport.co.uk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

This link gives you information for "Other time off" managers booklet related to a family friendly approach & HRS ADVICE & SUPPORT CONTACT DETAILS.

https://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/mrm/Oth ... t-2016.pdf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

scoobydo79 · Post by **scoobydo79** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:20

CPTNemoUK wrote:
scoobydo79 wrote:Sorry but You can’t keep going as You are.Your wife thinks You can work full time with a bad back,soon to be bad foot and then rush home to look after a 7 month old while She goes to work? Time for a reality check with Her.She can help You more than a doctor or any one on this forum.
Looking after the baby is all about team work. She looks after the baby during the day and I do the evening. She used to be a college tutor but had to give it up because we refuse to pay nearly £900 a month on child care. So she had to get a job that she can do when I get home. Still got to pay the Bill's. If we could afford her staying home we would but we can't.

I agree but You sound like Your doing more than Your share.Reduce Your hours so She can Increase Hers or vice versa an option maybe?

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:33

scoobydo79 wrote:
CPTNemoUK wrote:
scoobydo79 wrote:Sorry but You can’t keep going as You are.Your wife thinks You can work full time with a bad back,soon to be bad foot and then rush home to look after a 7 month old while She goes to work? Time for a reality check with Her.She can help You more than a doctor or any one on this forum.
Looking after the baby is all about team work. She looks after the baby during the day and I do the evening. She used to be a college tutor but had to give it up because we refuse to pay nearly £900 a month on child care. So she had to get a job that she can do when I get home. Still got to pay the Bill's. If we could afford her staying home we would but we can't.
I agree but You sound like Your doing more than Your share.Reduce Your hours so She can Increase Hers or vice versa an option maybe?

Looking after the baby not the problem. Its him and the wife keeping me going. Just think the Christmas pressure and not being able to complete and arguing every day in work just pushed me over the edge. The reps and my work colleagues have been really supportive. Management intent go there.
I would also like to add the wife does alot more than me. Just think the sudden death of my auntie and my nanna on her last legs and I didn't greave the babies we lost. (Me trying to be strong for the wife it hit her hard) has not done my mental state any good.

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:37

rogersh wrote:Do not know if you are aware, or wish to contact this service. From the email link you can click on employee support which in turn will give you several options.

First Class Support: Free colleague assistance service 0800 688 8777

http://www.rmgfirstclasssupport.co.uk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

This link gives you information for "Other time off" managers booklet related to a family friendly approach & HRS ADVICE & SUPPORT CONTACT DETAILS.

https://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/mrm/Oth ... t-2016.pdf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Cheers for the links. Going to see what happens at the doctors tomorrow and them will start seeking other avenues too help me through this. Even talking to you guys/ladies is making me feel better.

Ali831 · Post by **Ali831** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:52

Your family and health are more important then a job. Look after yourself think of number one, deal with everything else as it when it arises.

scoobydo79 · Post by **scoobydo79** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:53

Good Luck tomorrow Nemo and let us know how you get on

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 01 Dec 2019, 19:59

Ali831 wrote:Your family and health are more important then a job. Look after yourself think of number one, deal with everything else as it when it arises.

this what it boils down to. I I ow it's easier said than done but I'll get there. And any problems with work can wait till I am sorted. Thanks for your reply

Post by **CPTNemoUK** » 01 Dec 2019, 20:02

scoobydo79 wrote:Good Luck tomorrow Nemo and let us know how you get on

Thank you and will do when I get the chance.

Postie45 · Post by **Postie45** » 02 Dec 2019, 12:36

good luck with everything. Seeing your dr is very important not only for your mental health but from the work aspect too, if you were to get diagnosed with some form of depression then theres a lot of protections that kick in once something is diagnosed professionally rather than being someone who just keeps taking time off for what they say is stress.