Mother with cancer

exaandt · Post by **exaandt** » 13 Jul 2019, 15:08

Just been told my elderly disabled mother has cancer I am going to need time off to take her to doctors hospital etc
Am I allowed to take time off for taking her to appointments etc payed or should I just go sick
Any advice please

Jefferson Starfish · Post by **Jefferson Starfish** » 13 Jul 2019, 16:13

Can you not swap your days off with someone?

clashcityrocker · Post by **clashcityrocker** » 13 Jul 2019, 16:19

If you are your mother's carer, then she is covered under the Equality Act and therefore so are you by association.
See if your Branch has an Equality officer.
You already have enough to deal with, let someone else take the strain.

k979aaa · Post by **k979aaa** » 13 Jul 2019, 16:27

exaandt wrote:Just been told my elderly disabled mother has cancer I am going to need time off to take her to doctors hospital etc
Am I allowed to take time off for taking her to appointments etc payed or should I just go sick
Any advice please

Well for one they will not pay you but you could ask for duty swaps but if you do the sick thing it may well cost you your job as you never know what can or will happen to you or how long your mother is in need of transport and companionship in these difficult days ahead. Sorry to say we live in an uncaring society and anything other than profit is not for negotiation but I am sure some of your fellow workers will swap with you if need be you need to talk with them it is the best solution if you cannot go without pay if they will not rearrange your Annual Leave which is very difficult with no reserves so sorry for your mothers health I hope she will recover from the Cancer all I can say is all the best.

clashcityrocker · Post by **clashcityrocker** » 13 Jul 2019, 16:46

https://www.weightmans.com/insights/dis ... sociation/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Don't go sick.

scoobydo79 · Post by **scoobydo79** » 13 Jul 2019, 22:35

I had to use some of My leave when I had a terminally ill parent also switched a few days with work mates.DOM and mates were very obliging.As said don’t go sick over it.

Dorset Plodder · Post by **Dorset Plodder** » 14 Jul 2019, 00:48

My Wife had Lung Cancer a few years ago. RM basically didn't seem to give a shite!

Good News is she had an Op and is now fine, so there's hope for anyone in a similiar situation.

To deal with your question: First Point of Call is obviously your DOM.

1) He swapped my days off to fit in with appointments (although he intially suggested I should ask around, I told him to sort it HE was the DOM).

2) I used some used my remaining leave to spend the week in hospital with her, and the remainder when she was recovering.

3) On several occasions I had help with prepping the Duty, as I had to come in late....... and I was "Allowed" to come in early on other occasions because I had to get away early.

4) I was told I'd be able to take Un-Paid Leave if I needed anymore time off. Big of them.

I believe my Wife's Illness cost the unsympathetic bastards about two, or three, days un-paid leave in the end.

exaandt · Post by **exaandt** » 18 Jul 2019, 05:25

Hello a quick update got a phone call from oncologists yesterday at 1315 who stated my mum needs to be at hospital at q215 on fridayI was out on delivery so rang office told managers who wernt happy at all will go in today and await a answer lol

cubanpete · Post by **cubanpete** » 18 Jul 2019, 06:18

Go and see your GP. Let them know the situation and tell them the stress it is causing you and get them to sign you off from work. It shouldn't have to be this way, but if Royal Mail don't want to help and work with you then to me that is your best option. Work is not the most important thing in your life at these times.

wheresourmoney · Post by **wheresourmoney** » 18 Jul 2019, 14:59

Hi there, sorry to hear about your mum, we had a lad in the same situation as yourself and he was advised to speak to the dom, which he did, and the dom changed his days around to fit in with the days off that he needed. or you can look on the board at the hospital and you will find organisations that offer a free pick up and drop off service. I wish your mum all the best.

exaandt · Post by **exaandt** » 19 Jul 2019, 19:20

A update went to work this morning early prepared my delivery then went out left around half of delivery in frame only delivered about half of what I took out took rest back
Picked my mum up and made the appointment on time
Managers were actually very understanding
The half i left in frame was gone when i got back
So with a bit of digging it can be sorted
Thanks for all the replys
My mums fight will be long and hard
Many thanks

Seymour Buts · Post by **Seymour Buts** » 19 Jul 2019, 21:26

exaandt wrote:A update went to work this morning early prepared my delivery then went out left around half of delivery in frame only delivered about half of what I took out took rest back
Picked my mum up and made the appointment on time
Managers were actually very understanding
The half i left in frame was gone when i got back
So with a bit of digging it can be sorted
Thanks for all the replys
My mums fight will be long and hard
Many thanks

Good luck to you and your mom.

Post by **westy23** » 20 Jul 2019, 15:24

Working at a Mail centre as a Mgv driver and wife has been fighting ovarian cancer and brain stem cavernomas
for three years and management and union have been excellent.
Get time off or adjusted attendance times for hospital visits and chemo treatment.
Even if I have rung up at short notice for time off have always been accommodated.
The stress has been relentless at times.
But bizarrely being at work helps as it gives you something else to think about.
But truly a big thank you to Royal Mail.
People in this position will know exactly what I mean.

Dorset Plodder · Post by **Dorset Plodder** » 20 Jul 2019, 17:11

westy23 wrote:Working at a Mail centre as a Mgv driver and wife has been fighting ovarian cancer and brain stem cavernomas
for three years and management and union have been excellent.
Get time off or adjusted attendance times for hospital visits and chemo treatment.
Even if I have rung up at short notice for time off have always been accommodated.
The stress has been relentless at times.
But bizarrely being at work helps as it gives you something else to think about.
But truly a big thank you to Royal Mail.
People in this position will know exactly what I mean.

Sorry to hear about your Missus ... But glad RM are helping you out with it.

Just goes to show that it's often just down to the Calibre of the Management. I've not worked in a Mail Centre but imagine there may be more leeway to be flexible... than in perhaps an understaffed Delivery Office?

The main point is that it helps you out. Good Luck.