Had A Heated Row With Colleague/Rep Today !!! :-(((

MissKazzyB · Post by **MissKazzyB** » 26 May 2018, 17:29

Hi Guys

Haven’t needed to post anything on here for a while which means all’s been well & good.

For the last few walks I’ve been put on a different walk everyday even though I have seniority over 3 other people. They have all been put on easier walks. One of them has been on the same walk for the last two weeks on which I was prepared to do but had no say in it. I spoke to lino & he said I’m being put on these other walks as it’ll help me learn it more for when I go on drives, on which about 5 weeks ago, I did say that for me to learn the walks throughly I need to do more of them but thinking about it realistically, I don’t think it’ll make much of a difference as I do know all the walks just not at with my eyes closed so to speak. To be fair too. I doubt I’ll get put on a drive very often as it’ll be once in a blue moon if someone is sick or on annual leave. So I’d prefer to do the same walk. I get put down on rota but yet if things change or someone goes sick, I then get moved around so I never actually know sometimes what I’m on from one day to the next but yet the other three are kept on there’s!!
Anyway I was having abit of banter today with the boys in office & shouting out that I’m on blah blah walk but yet I’m higher in seniority etc etc Meaning it but bantering at the same time. Not personal at all. I walk back to my frame & the colleague/rep comes upto me & starts saying things like....Your always moaning, every f***ing day you come in saying you don’t wanna do this & don’t wanna do that so I said I was joking but it’s true as seniority etc etc. He said, I’ve had enough of this. He was swearing at me & called me a liar. Really aggressively. I asked him why he was using that tone of voice with me, he said because of you, your never happy blah blah blah. I couldn’t believe how he was shouting & swearing at me. In front of others too. He’s a big grown arse man & im a woman too.
When he walked away he shouted out....And if you f***ing want, put in a greviance.
I went out on my walk sooo upset & shocked that he spoke to me like that :-(((

At the end of the day, he came in office & stuck his tongue out & rubbed my arm & asked if I was ok to which I replied...No not really so he said...Why what’s the matter now. I didn’t answer. A colleague then took him out & had a chat with him to say that he was out of order for talking to me the way he did. He then came back in & apoligised so I asked him if the apology was off he’s own back (Obviously not) anyway cut a long story shorter lol we started arguing again but this time I couldn’t hold my tongue & I ended up shouting back at him. Which I never in the morning. I swore once too :-((( I said he shouldn’t talk to me like that for one & two I’m a lady to which he replied your not lady like as you just swore & your just a postie. I told him a couple of times to not talk to me as we’re going round in circles & it just seemed to escalate but he’d still carry on. I felt really intimidated by him & now really upset that this went on.

What’s your guys advice on this.

Thanks for taking the time to read my long post. Could of wrote loads more but tried to keep it short or short ish lol.
Have a good weekend guys xx

Tomolo208 · Post by **Tomolo208** » 26 May 2018, 17:45

You're letting the little things grind you down, which is very easy to do in our job.

As for your rep, He could be having a bad day at home/work (If this was a one off). Understandably your rep should always be there for your best interests and should not be talking to you in that manner.

Nobody likes confrontation. He'll be thinking it over, probably lose a nights sleep (as I'm sure you will too). Remember it is a job and not your whole life, take a step back and try taking the big picture. Conflicts are usually short term, the job we have is a good one (overall) and you only have to work with people you dont like for a couple hours a morning! - not many other jobs have that luxury :D

Long term you will get your own walk and all of these arguments you're having will be way in the past and long forgotten. Stick with it and chin up! Speak to your manager about keeping some sort of regularity to your role if being messed around is bringing you down.

If things get worse then Yes, put in a grievance.

danterossetti · Post by **danterossetti** » 26 May 2018, 17:49

You feel intimidated because you have been intimidated.

Be professional. Come in to work and do your job. if you are unhappy and feel you are being treated differently to others then raise the matter.

If somebody comes up to you and starts swearing , don't carry on and legitimise the conversation by saying you were only joking or whatever. Explain to them that their behaviour is unacceptable. Go off on sick with stress and start the B & H process.

Post by **hothothot** » 26 May 2018, 18:26

This sort of behaviour is unacceptable from anyone. I would advise you both get together and talk things through , I'm sure he feels the same. If somebody is swearing and shouting at you walk away don't swear or shout back at them. We all have disagreements but by what your saying he took it to far. As I said both talk it over you will then feel a lot better. Don't lose any sleep over this it's not worth it.

The Postman · Post by **The Postman** » 26 May 2018, 18:44

Unfortunately, they can put you on any walk they like. Seniority means nothing when it comes to operational needs. All that matters is that you start at the right time and finish at the right time, anything in between is up to them.

I’ve been very sympathetic when reading all your posts about the problems you’ve had with your manager etc. but I can’t see how you have a problem with someone with less experience than you being put on an easier walk. Unless you have signed for it of-course. Shouting and joking that you have more seniority than those other 3 people therefore makes you look a bit silly in my eyes.

Sounds like your rep was having a bad morning, but he certainly shouldn’t have spoken to you like this, it sounded to me like he tried to apologise in his own way by asking if you were ok before he was taken out and talked to by someone else, but I wasn’t there and don’t know him.

MissKazzyB · Post by **MissKazzyB** » 26 May 2018, 18:47

Tomolo208 wrote:You're letting the little things grind you down, which is very easy to do in our job.

As for your rep, He could be having a bad day at home/work (If this was a one off). Understandably your rep should always be there for your best interests and should not be talking to you in that manner.

Nobody likes confrontation. He'll be thinking it over, probably lose a nights sleep (as I'm sure you will too). Remember it is a job and not your whole life, take a step back and try taking the big picture. Conflicts are usually short term, the job we have is a good one (overall) and you only have to work with people you dont like for a couple hours a morning! - not many other jobs have that luxury :D

Long term you will get your own walk and all of these arguments you're having will be way in the past and long forgotten. Stick with it and chin up! Speak to your manager about keeping some sort of regularity to your role if being messed around is bringing you down.

If things get worse then Yes, put in a grievance.

I wouldn’t say he’s having a bad day as apparently he flips like that every now & then & has done it with nearly everyone in our office lol He has two sides to him lol. Even if he was having a bad day, you don’t talk to people like the way he did

MissKazzyB · Post by **MissKazzyB** » 26 May 2018, 19:09

hothothot wrote:This sort of behaviour is unacceptable from anyone. I would advise you both get together and talk things through , I'm sure he feels the same. If somebody is swearing and shouting at you walk away don't swear or shout back at them. We all have disagreements but by what your saying he took it to far. As I said both talk it over you will then feel a lot better. Don't lose any sleep over this it's not worth it.

When we first had the run in, in the morning & I kept my calm & didn’t shout or swear but in the office in the afternoon, when he apologised after being told to, he was still talking to me with a aggressive tone & this time I wasn’t able to keep my calm as he was doing it again.

MissKazzyB · Post by **MissKazzyB** » 26 May 2018, 19:13

The Postman wrote:Unfortunately, they can put you on any walk they like. Seniority means nothing when it comes to operational needs. All that matters is that you start at the right time and finish at the right time, anything in between is up to them.

I’ve been very sympathetic when reading all your posts about the problems you’ve had with your manager etc. but I can’t see how you have a problem with someone with less experience than you being put on an easier walk. Unless you have signed for it of-course. Shouting and joking that you have more seniority than those other 3 people therefore makes you look a bit silly in my eyes.

Sounds like your rep was having a bad morning, but he certainly shouldn’t have spoken to you like this, it sounded to me like he tried to apologise in his own way by asking if you were ok before he was taken out and talked to by someone else, but I wasn’t there and don’t know him.

The reason I go on about seniority is because that’s how everyone goes on in my office. To be honest I’m not 100% bothered about seniority apart from 2 of the walks are leather but it’s the way how he was swearing & shouting at me. Who the hell does he think he is!!!
I stayed calm in the morning but second time round talking to me like that is a no no !!!

postslippete · Post by **postslippete** » 26 May 2018, 19:31

How unprofessional of your rep!! It does sound a bit like our rep though - he's still a bit wet between his ears and finding his way around the office.

Truth of the matter is that due to "operational needs" the managers can put you on a different walks from time to time - regardless of seniority. I would argue that flexibility is not about changing what staff do on a daily basis, I mean, I've been moved to accommodate my duty being lapsed from time to time and unfortunately I've had to put in grievances for it.

Has it stopped them?? In truth, yes, its made them back off a little bit. I did do a lot of research putting my grievance in though there are some good sites out there that will help you do it, if your rep isn't much cop.

But...do try to get on with rep because you never know when you might them on YOUR side. It isn't your rep putting you on different walks everyday after all.

Creditshampoo · Post by **Creditshampoo** » 26 May 2018, 19:54

I’d expect that from a DOM. Certinely not a union rep. Peep dally I would go above them and speak to the area rep about your concerns

worktotime · Post by **worktotime** » 26 May 2018, 21:13

the rep is out of order he is there to listen to your concerns and issues and not to look after himself , and if its to much for him he shouldn't be doing it , anyway get in touch with the area rep and tell him what he has done

mattjo1@talktalk.net · Post by **mattjo1@talktalk.net** » 26 May 2018, 22:08

Snowflake alert.

MissKazzyB · Post by **MissKazzyB** » 26 May 2018, 22:38

postslippete wrote:How unprofessional of your rep!! It does sound a bit like our rep though - he's still a bit wet between his ears and finding his way around the office.

Truth of the matter is that due to "operational needs" the managers can put you on a different walks from time to time - regardless of seniority. I would argue that flexibility is not about changing what staff do on a daily basis, I mean, I've been moved to accommodate my duty being lapsed from time to time and unfortunately I've had to put in grievances for it.

Has it stopped them?? In truth, yes, its made them back off a little bit. I did do a lot of research putting my grievance in though there are some good sites out there that will help you do it, if your rep isn't much cop.

But...do try to get on with rep because you never know when you might them on YOUR side. It isn't your rep putting you on different walks everyday after all.

Is it my rep having a say 90% of the time along with my Dom as my Dom didn’t know the walks at all & the rep has been there 30 years so he gets involved a lot with staffing. He’s not a fantastic rep either apart from when he wants to be. When it suits him. He’s very 2 faced to everyone in the office & everyone knows it.

MissKazzyB · Post by **MissKazzyB** » 26 May 2018, 22:41

mattjo1@talktalk.net wrote:Snowflake alert.

What does this mean?

Celgar · Post by **Celgar** » 27 May 2018, 09:43

It's a good thing operationally speaking for RM if you have been trained up for the majority or maybe all of the walks in the DO. It's not a good thing for you though as you will become the 'go to' postie even when you get signed to your own walk. Once other cover/reserve Postie's are trained up on more walks you would not get moved so much or at all.
When I first joined RM I was a cover at a different DO to where I am now. The union rep there had the bright idea that I could be trained up to know every walk and this was a large DO. In addition the DOM was on at two posties including me for being too slow and putting pressure on us to resign. I'm not sure about the other guy as he was a lot older but I was just learning walks so it wasn't my fault I was slower in my opinion. At the time I didn't know because I was new but I think the DOM was in the wrong doing what he did. Anyway a nearby DO that was closer to home was really short staffed so I initially got sent there to help them out. There was a walk there with no one to do it so I transferred to the other DO. Problem solved.
A union rep or DOM should not be swearing at any staff member in an angry fashion so you should raise that with your DOM or contact the RM harassment helpline. You should be able to find that number on your office notice board if you wish to bypass your DOM. Posties do get angry if they are moved from walk to walk excessively but that isn't an excuse for a union rep to swear at you like that. In our DO all swearing whether banter or anything else has been stopped especially as the callers office for customers is within earshot of our frames. The anti harassment and bullying campaign is promoted hard by the union so union rep have to be whiter than white really.