The Sound of Silence

fishtank · Post by **fishtank** » 17 Oct 2017, 15:51

Since we're about to enter the mediation period and the s**t is about to get real as they say I expect RM to insist on their usual confidentiality clause during these negotiations. To be honest I'm surprised how much has been leaked so far but I have a feeling that's about to change.

It might be mushroom time for the next 5 weeks which is never fun but the upside is it gives us plenty of room to make stuff up. I heard we're all getting driverless vans.

Post by **TrueBlueTerrier** » 17 Oct 2017, 15:54

That will go well with the Managerless Managers

redneck · Post by **redneck** » 17 Oct 2017, 16:10

I've heard they are to accelerate (with CWU agreement) the employing of the RM 'test tube to time saving' programme, initiated over 20 years ago in RMs 'Area 51' equivalent deep in the bowels of the Mail Rail complex. We've all seen the results, 6 foot 7 humanoids who never say no and can deliver at an incredible 7 plus miles an hour walking speed due to premier stride pattern.

clashcityrocker · Post by **clashcityrocker** » 17 Oct 2017, 16:27

I've heard they want to clone me.

fishtank · Post by **fishtank** » 17 Oct 2017, 16:31

clashcityrocker wrote:I've heard they want to clone me.

I wonder if the real you thinks that.

luddite · Post by **luddite** » 17 Oct 2017, 16:40

Had to call back in the yard today and one if our managers was flying a drone around the yard! It had a Gregg's pie hanging underneath which he was attempting to lower into the mouth of a prone PHG!
We all know where this is heading....pies today........

DiamondSmiles · Post by **DiamondSmiles** » 17 Oct 2017, 16:58

fishtank wrote:Since we're about to enter the mediation period and the s**t is about to get real as they say I expect RM to insist on their usual confidentiality clause during these negotiations. To be honest I'm surprised how much has been leaked so far but I have a feeling that's about to change.

It might be mushroom time for the next 5 weeks which is never fun but the upside is it gives us plenty of room to make stuff up. I heard we're all getting driverless vans.

Do you mean there won't be mushroom for negotiation?

walkthewalk · Post by **walkthewalk** » 17 Oct 2017, 17:16

Ive heard managers are going on a charm course resulting ultimately returning to delivery offices with new abbreviated words such as: G.M (good morning) T.Y (thank you) N.L (no lapsing) L.P.I.B (leave packets it's busy) C.I.H.Y (can I help you)

Darwinsdad · Post by **Darwinsdad** » 17 Oct 2017, 17:33

I was told we’re getting some elastic bands and Christmas Eve off. Not sure whether to believe them or not

Post by **holly123** » 17 Oct 2017, 18:12

I heard they were making everyone have drop box on the end of each garden path with a shelf to put PDA and bundle on while I sort my bag out,have a drink to keep fluid level up & put some sun cream on

Spartacus · Post by **Spartacus** » 17 Oct 2017, 19:20

I've heard they're going to take accidents seriously.

Too far?

Post by **Brandy** » 17 Oct 2017, 20:00

walkthewalk wrote:Ive heard managers are going on a charm course resulting ultimately returning to delivery offices with new abbreviated words such as: G.M (good morning) T.Y (thank you) N.L (no lapsing) L.P.I.B (leave packets it's busy) C.I.H.Y (can I help you)

A charm course! It would have needed more than that to have made my ex managers good to work for,more like a bloody miracle!!!!

Post by **POSTMAN** » 17 Oct 2017, 21:02

I know for a fact the Chickens used in the CWU demo have taken over the negotiations as they feel they will do better than the previous lot!

Post by **westy23** » 18 Oct 2017, 07:51

From next year Royal Mail are selling all York’s for scrap and we are reverting to bags loose loaded on arctic lorry’s
Reinstating all Ex-phgs
Bringing back the green overtime docket so all Bookroom’s can be closed.

pmarkham · Post by **pmarkham** » 18 Oct 2017, 18:17

Basically common sense finally came to the front of everyones minds

(1) Moya is actually attending the meetings

(2) We agreed the pension is in trouble and took a slight hit (not 30% !!)
(3) RM agreed that we all joined RM due to the hours suiting our family lifes so won't change our start times .
(4) RM agreed to a 35 hour week to minimize job losses due to automation .
(5) We agreed to not being paid the first 2 days when off sick (all other sick pay stays the same)
(6) RM agreed to a pay rise for this year back dated to April 1st and a 3 year deal for pay and terms and conditions , taking us up to 2020 to bring much needed stability to RM and all staff members.

(7) everyone lived happily ever after