Not sure what to do

[alliasjay]

I have been given a fit note and have been given 2 weeks off for work related stress. I had sent the fit note into work over the past few days which they have received. I have left a few messages on their answerphone stating that I will not be in and not sure when I will be ready to return.

Each time I think about work or I see the phone ring with a withheld number I end up being hit with massive anxiety, over time I guess it's drilled itself in as you can only brush off the stresses and pressures that are placed on you for so long. I haven't spoken to any of the managers since I said I was off sick, and I would rather pay not get stopped or just end up getting sacked right away as just like everyone else bills need to be paid. I am a mentally strong person or so I thought I always had been and never thought this would have effected me, but I can't even count the amount of times I have hoped that my manager was off on holiday, or had a long weekend or had hoped that we would just not cross paths. Even thinking about going back now is just...i don't know.

I have another doctors appointment when my fit note runs out and at the moment things don't seem to be getting any better. Not quite sure what to do... is writing letters sending them recorded delivery sufficient contact for the time being? I hear OH Assist can provide some form of help but not sure how the procedure works.

Many thanks for your time

[coxie]

I would say given the nature of your illness they should respect the doctors note and leave you alone for 2 weeks. However if they do phone you I would insist they refer you to atos, that will slow things down and atos can be very reasonable and understanding whereas a manager won't be. They will try to help you and when you're ready to return ease you into it. The new attendance procedure does suggest they will try to have a face to face meeting with you should you be absent for 28 days but you're not obliged to attend if you don't feel up to it. Phone your union rep and tell him to tell them that the best way for you to recover is to leave you alone as you can't explain anymore than the doctors note says. Don't come across as being unreasonable as they are paying you while you're off they do have a right to ask for you to be contactable or contact them during your absence. Take my advice, pick up the phone next time, say how you feel and ask for them to refer you to atos.

[spiderj]

Agree with coxie,atos can reccomend you for counselling but only three sessions.
However you are free to ask your gp to refer you too.

Don't bottle it up if u can help it...and hard though it may be youll eventually have to talk to someone from RM,call the help number on your payslip,they're actually not that bad.

And if in the union contact your rep and or branch.

My anxiety and depression was horrendous whilst I was with RM,now I've retired its not as bad as it was....wonder why! Hmm

Good luck.

[meercat]

massive anxiety

You have a mental health issue and need either treatment or time off to recover. Your GP is your guide on this so see how you get on in 2 weeks time and if you don't feel fit for work ask your GP for another sick note and counselling. The most important thing you need to do is be honest with yourself and honest with your GP. If you are struggling you need help. Resigning won't necessarily fix you, infact ending up on the Dole with nothing to do and anxiety problems could make you very depressed.

Not sure about ATOS. You have to agree to be refered to them but have heard good and bad things about them. Maybe ask your GP his opinion. At the end of the day ATOS are paid by RM to get people back to work QUICKER. That is their whole purpose. Quicker is better for RM wages dept but maybe not for a sick person.

Remember too that the DO can be a very stressful place and some managers are EXPERTS in grinding people down. The reaction you have had to that in many ways is completely normal. You can certainly get over this but need time and maybe counselling.

[alliasjay]

Hey there and thank you for your responses.

I had spoken to atos... and I could tell by the way they were speaking that they were trying to figure out what to say to try to get me to go back to work
as rapidly as possible, but ended up saying that we would just have another appointment several weeks down the line to see of any improvements. I have been in
touch with work and they have invited me to attend a meeting in a few days which just thinking about it makes me really anxious. I find now that I'm not even
sleeping at nights. mostly during the days and the thought of going in right now kinda makes me feel worse. I don't know maybe it could be a good thing? or maybe
its just another way to try and get me back to work. If that's the case then it surely won't go down well. I have been awaiting counselling from atos referral but still not heard
anything. I could just get my own free counselling, i just didn't want to end up with multiple people to see.

Any ideas what this meeting could be about? it's a review including atos advice reports. I don't feel comfortable with it.

many thanks.

[estelle]

More than likely it's a progress check to review what ATOS said in their report.

When off with the same thing at the start of the year, I found my first ATOS appointment to be nothing short of a disaster. It felt like they were ganging up on me to provide an action plan to get back to work within a week. I got angry and upset and explained I was not in a position to give a plan for return to work as I was still not coping with life.

They backed off, arranged counselling (which was telephone based btw) and contacted me every two weeks or so.

Best advice I can give you is stay strong, speak to the union and don't think the advice offered by ATOS overrules your GP.

Keep in contact in the way you feel most comfortable and remember meetings can be arranged in places away from the workplace.

[alliasjay]

Thanks for your response.

The feelings from this letter wasn't going down so well, so I contacted work (never able to get anyone to answer) so advised that I would be unable to attend. Have a doctors appointment on the same day and I have issues driving at the moment. Have nearly caused several accidents recently so have chosen to stay safe and not drive. Work is nearly an hours drive away, I don't feel safe in making that trip. Probably best off taking public transport.

How would I speak to the union rep? any chance I can contact them without going in to my workplace? I haven't spoken to them at all. Maybe I will request their details. I have been keeping work updated via letter which feels the best way for me at present. but I can't believe how much just this letter that I have just received has effected me even though it doesn't seem all that bad. from shakes to blankness.

Doctors appointment Monday see if that leads anywhere.

[TrueBlueTerrier]

Do a search on line to see if your branch has a website. If they do there is usually a contact page somewhere that has email and phone numbers.

You should be able to contact your local rep or the Area Reps, perhaps even the Equalities officer.

[meercat]

I can't believe how much just this letter that I have just received has effected me even though it doesn't seem all that bad. from shakes to blankness.

Doctors appointment Monday see if that leads anywhere.

You are doing the right thing by staying away from your workplace. If speaking to your Bosses is causing you that much anxiety you can't put yourself in that position it could be very bad for your mental well being. It's all very well someone saying 'get a grip' to you but with serious anxiety that can be counter-productive. Your Doctor is impartial and an expert. Let him/her advise you and take as much time off as you need to recover. This is a job at the end of the day your life is far far more important. There is a long long list of people in your situation, working for RM can be a real challenge because some of these managers are experts at applying pressure and making people feel worthless - you are not alone!

[alliasjay]

I have been contacted regarding a meeting outside of work. This would probably be without a union rep.. although I would record an audio of the meeting as to cover my back. I hate this shaking... your asked to call work yet no-one answers even after 7-8 attempts. each call adding to the anxiety when I just want to get it over and done with.

I have mentioned about a meeting closer to me... I hope that it is in my benefit because I don't want to crack. is this wise to meet? my feelings are telling me no but yes at the same time. I'm not quite sure.

thank you for your responses.

[alliasjay]

All fun and games.

Can't even chop the hedge without nearly electrocuting myself. Worries me that I don't feel safe. Not like I need a padded room :s but still.

[meercat]

It's a difficult one and only you could really decide what's best. I was off with stress for a few weeks one time and had no contact with work and that suited me. The problem with a meeting is they will ask what at work is causing the issues so when you go over that with them you could get even more stressed. If they then try to encourage you back again that could stress you out even more. Everyone deals with stress in a different way which is why only you can decide where to go from here.

Let's put it this way, if work and the people there is stressing you out so much that you are ill then you need to get away from it not go to a meeting with these same people. If you have a broken arm or bad feet then yes a meeting with work to discuss progress does no harm whatsoever. But with a mental health issue a meeting and the stress leading up to it COULD do you more harm. As that is the case personally I would not go to any meetings if I had a work-related mental health issue and would just see my doctor and use the time off to forget about work. Work will have to accept that.

Everyday you are stressing about these meetings, phone calls, and conversations managers want to have with you is another lost day to mental stress. You will end up needing more time off to get over the stress of these meeting arrangements. I don't think you would be on here, have shakes and be in so much of a dilemma if you WERE ready for a meeting.

A final bit of advice. If you spend your time away from work thinking and worrying about it you won't get better. You need to FORGET about work for your mind to heal. So my advice is cancel the meeting, see your doctor, tell him/her you need 2 more weeks off and go on a break somewhere. Go camping, go to a relatives, go on a walking holiday, go to the Library and get 10 books out - whatever you do make sure you do NOT spend your time thinking about work.

[alliasjay]

Thank you meercat.

[Himaggen]

I have been contacted regarding a meeting outside of work. This would probably be without a union rep.. although I would record an audio of the meeting as to cover my back.

The Attendance Procedure says that you should both agree on a suitable location for the face to face absence review meeting, (which should be a reasonable distance for both parties), and that you may wish to be accompanied. Without at least the latter being followed do not arrange to take part in any discussion.