Funniest thing you told a customer !!!

[islfor]

I was delivering a parcel to a woman on my round, as I was close to the door she was waiting on doorstep and shouted "yes, its arrived my frankenstein hallowen costume". which I replied "You don't need it love" Her 2 daughters was sitting by the kitchen table started to laugh & when the women finally realised what I said, told me to f**k off and I was no longer her favourite postman lol.

[Bernardson]

A customer of mine was having her hall way decorated, without thinking about it I said I hated the colour!
I walked away severley

[pinstripe]

"What is it?"

"Don't know, but it sounds like a jigsaw."

[Sausage70]

Can i stroke your pussy.

[OnAFlyer]

"I think your car's broke" as a woman's car was being dragged onto a recovery lorry, doesn't sound so bad but she burst into tears

[wheresourmoney]

Had a parcel for someone today, rang the doorbell ,no answer, rang again still no answer so wrote a docket out and was just about to put it through the letter box when the door opened and there stood a woman looking like she had the right hump, I said to her that I think her doorbell wasn't working and she replied "I was having a sh#t if that's ok with you", and all I could reply was "well I hope you washed your hands.

[clashcityrocker]

"I think your car's broke" as a woman's car was being dragged onto a recovery lorry, doesn't sound so bad but she burst into tears

Always best to stay out of repossession proceedings.
It is always a highly emotional time.

[raz373]

A customer took forever to find their keys and come to the door. I said, "you wouldn't last long in a fire would you". Got a complaint for that one

[Lkhardyuk]

on overtime delivering firms mail, when receptionist eventually came to desk she said "are you late?" to which i replied "No this is tomorrows post early" . she then said, truthfully "Is it oh good"

[blisterfeet]

I was delivering to a newsagents and a women who worked there was talking to the paperboy, she found out that his dad went to school with her and said I bet you didn't know I went to school with your dad? I couldn't help myself I just said no he can't believe his dad is that old :-o fortunately she laughed, I really should engage brain before mouth.

[cyberheater]

Delivered loads of hand written letters to an address when the owner walked out the door.

Me with a cheeky grin: "Somebody's birthday".

Bloke: "No, my daughter has just died".

Me (feck).

[ted_e_bear]

Not exactly funny but carrying on from the last post,
Where's your dog today he usually barks when I knock, customer says we lost him last week, me, oh dear sorry I didn't know whilst thinking to myself oh feck !

[korky]

few weeks ago a bald bloke was borrowing a van off a customer, he mentioned a wing mirror was bust, i said to him "well he wont need it to do his hair"
think i'd have got chinned if the other bloke didn't crack up laughing....that n he also had more hair than me!

[lew1275]

Customer: Where is the regular boy? Day off?
Me: No he had an affair so we had to sack him

Face was priceless...but I fessed up in the end.

[OnAFlyer]

A customer took forever to find their keys and come to the door. I said, "you wouldn't last long in a fire would you". Got a complaint for that one

I always say that to people that can't find their keys!