ATOS to reduce fit for work questionaire to one question.

[Lateagainpostie]

According to sources inside the DWP, to speed up processing of claims and availability to work, Athos have been told to only ask one question to decide if people are fit for work, they will ask :

"Are you alive" !

The DWP stated :

If the person replies “yes” to the question, then they will be put into the ‘work-related activity group’ and will be expected to find a job. If however the answer is “no” then they will be given support to help them find suitable employment for someone who is dead – depending obviously on their individual level of lifelessness and needs as a deceased person.

http://tompride.wordpress.com/2013/01/2 ... you-alive/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I'm not sure if this is a piss take or not

[fishtank]

Death is not necessarily a barrier to re-entering the job market.

Most of the skills available to the dead are easily transferable into the role of Royal Mail management.
With the aid of a few cable ties in the correct places you could easily climb to the role of Delivery Sector Manager without anybody noticing your particular disability.
Let's be honest a manager's office already reeks with the stench of failure and dying aspirations so a bit of decomposition is unlikely to rouse any real suspicions.

[hampshireman]

According to sources inside the DWP, to speed up processing of claims and availability to work, Athos have been told to only ask one question to decide if people are fit for work, they will ask :

"Are you alive" !

The DWP stated :

If the person replies “yes” to the question, then they will be put into the ‘work-related activity group’ and will be expected to find a job. If however the answer is “no” then they will be given support to help them find suitable employment for someone who is dead – depending obviously on their individual level of lifelessness and needs as a deceased person.

http://tompride.wordpress.com/2013/01/2 ... you-alive/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I'm not sure if this is a piss take or not

Could not resist..

Athos? and the rest of the Musketeers

[k979aaa]

The bastards in our place will dig you up to get a walk covered so no solace in death then.