ROYAL MAIL VISION 2099

[POSTWOMAN]

1.royal mail is soon having finger print and retina access only boxes as part of the modernisation programme in the years to come. Plus our ceo being caring for our posties said the boxes will also come attached with a side compartment which wil have a chiller as well as food warmer so that our posties can have warm food and chilled beer*. no more keys getting lost or boxes being stolen

2.finally our posties will given gps tracked shoes so that our DOMs can monitor their movements and do performance reviews (screwing in layman terms) where necessay to save costs.plus GPS tracking will help validate OT with less paperwork as staff can use app for that.

3.finally royal mail is also going to launch staff only apps for android/ios phones by which our posties can get signatures and update status of items with 1 click instead of writing essays on delivery cards as well as packets/letters. The app will also let staff put OT which will be verified by DOM online and authorised within 48hrs. For the phones Royal Mail has partnered with 3 mobile to provide staff with phones at discounted prices if posties want to get new phone for per-mercial purposes

4. With the new section 007 of 2A of ''Human Right Act'' (to answer nature's call'' with 4 minutes at workplace) coming into force as of december 2098; Royal Mail has the legal obligation to provide small tube washroom with the 4mins walk radius of each/every walk (aka workplace for posties) so that our dear posties can piss'n'shite is peace.

5.Regarding security concerns- Royal Mail has ordered Military grade kevlar gloves which are shock-proof and dog/cat bite - proof for our dear posties. next time u put your hand through box u know for sure 5 fingers gonna come back again.




* terms and conditions appy
chilled beer only after u finish work.


**warning** plz dun take this seriously

[Midnight+13]

Royal Mail 2099?

Ha Ha, will have been screwed into the ground by management long before then.

[steven100]

Royal Mail 2099 - Who are they????

[bensonhedge]

2099...who gives a f**k...i will be enjoying the fruits of my section c pension plan

[arnold cheshire]

2099...who gives a f**k...i will be enjoying the fruits of my section c pension plan

more like rm 2012

[NWpostie]

Heard RM is being up for sale March 2013.

[Donk]

* terms and conditions appy

That's right. All of the above will be conditional on the revisions in the BT2097 agreement being implemented in full.