Compassion

[hampshireman]

Not even sure what I am asking here. (maybe I am not asking anything)

Last Thursday my son had a seizure at Uni. So, a fit. He was in a very dark place (his words). Obviously I am full of fear. He has a brain scan next week (thanks to private medical - NHS was 16 weeks).

I have spoken to the office manager today ; and they are very supportive. I've told them that if i need to leave work i will do. No ifs no buts .. and again they have no problem.

If I just have to walk out for family reasons I am assuming that RM will be supportive? I do not doubt the local management.

I have never been in such a lower place as I am today. I am terrified for my son. I am in tears as I write this.

I am hoping that RM have some soul.

[richbriggs69]

Hi

Cant answer for RM. Am in a 'dark place' myself. But happy to offer any help I can or just to be an 'ear'.

I hope things work out for you.

[steven100]

Hi

Everyone in RM is just a number, it'll be up to your manager. If he has a conscience you should be fine if not well....be warned. Hope your son is ok soon.
Personally i'd ask unpaid leave if you can afford to. Even if its just for a few days etc. You don't want to owing RM management any favours.

[wacko74]

Get any of these 'reassurances' in writing,
I personally wouldn't believe anything a manager told me.

[andy2007]

Exactly! Don't accept verbal reassurances, get it in writing. However: Steven100's suggestion of Special Leave is your best bet. I know it means loosing a lot of money, but at least you're not risking being stabbed in the back, at a time like this.

I hope your son is going to be ok.

[TrueBlueTerrier]

Hampshire man at this time you family is the most important part of anything. Your manager appears to be a decent one and if you keep him in the picture then he/she will I hope cover your back for you. If you have a decent rep I would try and advise them as well, this is just hopefully a back up so that he can help you with RM.

However, I believe you are entitled in law to emergency leave for family emergencies and I also believe that your case may be covered by the Special Leave rules.

Just checked - there is a section in the Special Leave Policy Document at http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ve#p390710" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; for Family Medical Emergencies.

Urgent indicates an immediate need, the provision with pay should normally be one day, with further days unpaid or covered by holiday entitlement. Exceptional circumstances might warrant 3 days. Where regular treatment is occurring the employee should try and get appointments outside work hours and Post Office Ltd should help by arranging changes to working hours wherever possible. Managers should treat requests for additional time off with sympathy bearing in mind that a stoppage of pay will add to the stress of hospital treatment.
It should be noted that taking someone to hospital for an arranged appointment is not Special Leave A, but should be taken as Unpaid or Annual Leave.

I hope that everything checks out okay.

[hampshireman]

Hampshire man at this time you family is the most important part of anything. Your manager appears to be a decent one and if you keep him in the picture then he/she will I hope cover your back for you. If you have a decent rep I would try and advise them as well, this is just hopefully a back up so that he can help you with RM.

However, I believe you are entitled in law to emergency leave for family emergencies and I also believe that your case may be covered by the Special Leave rules.

Just checked - there is a section in the Special Leave Policy Document at http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ve#p390710" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; for Family Medical Emergencies.

Urgent indicates an immediate need, the provision with pay should normally be one day, with further days unpaid or covered by holiday entitlement. Exceptional circumstances might warrant 3 days. Where regular treatment is occurring the employee should try and get appointments outside work hours and Post Office Ltd should help by arranging changes to working hours wherever possible. Managers should treat requests for additional time off with sympathy bearing in mind that a stoppage of pay will add to the stress of hospital treatment.
It should be noted that taking someone to hospital for an arranged appointment is not Special Leave A, but should be taken as Unpaid or Annual Leave.

I hope that everything checks out okay.

Thankyou. I don't believe that I will have a problem locally. The info is very useful.

[graffi]

as Blue said ....and you can get go off with social and domestic stress and get up to 3 days special leave im sure someone will post link to that as well :)

[centenaryman]

feel for ya hampshire,,,,,a year ago my wife had a seisure in bed,,,middle of the night,,,spent a week in hospital,,,r.m were ok,,,,i got a weeks unpaid leave,,,but later on checking my payslip they only made it 2 days unpaid and gave me 3 days??? i needed the time away with her and looking after the kids...all school age.

then a couple of months later she had another seisure,,,,this time at 7am,,,,i always ring her to check she is up and getting the kids ready,,,but this morn 1 of the younger kids answered the phone and said he could get mum to wake up,,,,i was out that office faster than s**t off a shovel....this time only 1 day off,,,unpaid,,,and she was diagnosed as sleep seisure or epaletic,,,,so from then on even though the bosses look my way i ring her,,,i carry on primary sorting or throwing in an ag walk,,,but i ring her...ive told them i will do this,,,,they seem to go through spells of cracking down on talking orlads on the phone every now and again.

like i said r.m were ok

just letting u know what happened in my case,,,i understand they have to get mail out in a morn,,,but sometimes we do have genuine problems.

and best of luck in your case son.

[cliffeyhez]

Hampshireman,
Used to be a Paramedic, and saw what happened to your boy on many occassions, especially with young people.
9 times out of 10, this proved to be a one off occurance, never to happen again, and often unexplained.
I appreciate you're in a dark place, but try to remain positive.
Best of luck to your boy with regard to the scan. Take care.

[mazza111]

Went thru some problems with my son,allergies to the scale that he was hospitalised as his throat was swelling shut, while one manager was very supportive, the next time it happened it was a replacement manager who was on, who wanted me to go sick, and wouldn't allow me to take time off to go to the doctors (emergency appointment) Union involvement and a lot of palaver. Make sure all management know of the situation. Hope all goes well for you and your son.

[tboyle1989]

best wishes to you and your family in this tough time

[fng]

I can't offer advice as far as RM goes and i have not been through what you/your son are going through....... but i am a dad to two and from that view point i am with you all the way, all the best mate

[rockypostie]

Im sorry to hear about your son and I'm sur. e everything will turn out ok,your local management do sound decent,I recently had some time of when my wife was in hospital,think I had 3 days off and they did it as unpaid but when I got back to work I managed to get paid for the days as I told manager I was too stressed and tired too work so I signed myself of sick.it did take alot of time to get them to pay me back. The problem is.there doesn't really seem to b any offical rules on if u get paid or not,just up to local manager.but I know the cost if going to hospital with parking and fuel being expensive you could do with still getting paid,so if your sickrecord isn't bad I would suggest you sign yourself off sick with stress.I know when my wife was ill I don't think I was in no fit state to work so you arnt even lying

[hampshireman]

Hampshireman,
Used to be a Paramedic, and saw what happened to your boy on many occassions, especially with young people.
9 times out of 10, this proved to be a one off occurance, never to happen again, and often unexplained.
I appreciate you're in a dark place, but try to remain positive.
Best of luck to your boy with regard to the scan. Take care.

Thanks for that. I do believe that it could well be a one off. And hope and pray that that is the case.

Funny thing is that he is dealing with it better than me. I'm full of angst.

I do wonder with his workload ; Uni Degree ; working and many other things whether that has pushed him over?

Again thanks for your thoughts