Another Hermes f***-up and how I helped avert it

[Thorby Bislam]

This morning, as I was working my way along a certain street, a young lad came up to me. "I know this isn't anything to do with you" he said, holding out a Hermes While-you were-out card. I immediately took him to be a student. He had that soft, middle-class, studenty voice. He continued " I live at 21 and they've left my parcel somewhere and I dont know where. There doesn't seem to be this address anywhere".
I took the card. It said 'parcel left at 16 flat 2. "Ah" I said, "there is such an address" I pointed up the street. "It's the first block of flats after M********** St. There's no number on it but it is 16-18. His face fell. "you mean that dodgy house on the corner?" I nodded and gave him the card back. "That's the one, best of luck". Although it was round a corner, we could hear the block. Being a nice sunny day, they had the windows wide open and the stereo on full power, inflicting their poor taste in music on their neighbours.
This part of town used to be quite grand. All the fine, large houses are now mostly run down, neglected and subdivided into flats occupied by students, Polish immigrants and DSS claiments. Give me the Poles anyday. I've never had any trouble from them.
Anyway, when I rounded the corner, I could see the student standing outside it, trying to attract the attention of this woman leaning out of a second floor window. She could have been anything from 20 to 45, hard to say. "OLIVIAAAH" she screamed, in a voice loud enough to make the seagulls on the roof take flight in alarm. When Olivia, a chavvy looking girl passing by about 500 yards away didn't respond, she put her fingers in her mouth and let out a whistle that would be the envy of any construction worker. This time Olivia responded by raising a middle finger. I had to laugh.
The student called up to her "are you flat 2?" She disappeared inside as if she'd been shot and this man stuck his head out. How to describe him? You could tell he was a man by the several days stubble on his face. Apart from that you couldn't see anything under the dirt. To say he was unkempt and dishevelled would be like saying WW11 was a bit of a falling out.
"Wochawant?" he growled. The student explained about his parcel. The man looked down at the boy. Then he looked at me, watching from across the road. His brow furrowed. you could tell he was trying to think. Me, I just stood there not saying anything. I wasn't of a mind to make it easier for him. With a grunt, he went back in and came back with a parcel which he threw down to the student.
Well, I say 'to' but 'at' would be more accurate. The boy leapt like a salmon and caught it. As he hurried off he said "thank-you" to me as he passed. I went on my way with a smile on my face. Whatever strife I have to put up with at work, I'll always be better off than that bloke.

[taurus88]

WW11 was a bit of a falling out?

I should bloody think so as well! Who were the combatants? Were they using space rays?

[Tank]

Cool story bro

[krussel]

Good story, well written, liked it

[Mr Blonde]

It was wasn't it, I could picture it in my mind all the way through!

[post_bitch]

what was in the packet the mystery unsolved

[Thorby Bislam]

We'll never know.
I was back there today. A bloke came charging out of 16-18 angrily waving a surcharge card that I'd just delivered. A different man from Thursday, a lot cleaner too. After I'd explained what a surcharge card was for, he uttered the immortal words "well, who sent it then?" He never did find out. I was in callers office after I'd finished the delivery and he came in just before we closed. When he saw the letter which had no return address on it, he refused it.

[Post Off]

Hermes... Sounds like Herpes.

I'm not 100% sure, but aren't these the same people who have their own news reports that target anything and everything that can be made to look bad about most of the peeps who works for RM?


Anyway, good story there, Thorby. Maybe there is a book in you.