Victimized by a fellow work colleague?

[emmaa_uk]

Hi
I just feel like a need a bit of advice because I dont know how to handle certain ppl- I have been having trouble with this one woman who I have worked with since we both started 2 years ago and 9 times out of 10 it feels like she is blantantly trying to undermine me and belittle me and its worse when she does it in front of other ppl.

Now, I have no qualms with anyone, I work very hard and try to polite and pleasant to everyone but I feel like this woman and in fact all the women treat me differently (do get lots of male attention and always being chatted up- even by some managers!! plus I am a lot younger than them too and they all have families and I am pretty well single) but particularly this one woman who I really feel has had it in for me since day one. There have even been times when I have helped her out on her deliveries if I saw her struggle so she could get done quicker but she really is so impossible to get along with.
Ironically though, everyone seems to like her and think she is a character.
Anyway, there was an instance this morning where I was talking to someone behind the enquiry desk and she comes along and replies by saying "come on woman I havent got all day"
then replies by saying " I dont mind you chatting as long as you move aside!"(like she owns the place and hasnt she ever heard of excuse me??!!) Which to my anoyance made everyone there laugh, I really felt like giving her a mouthful at that comment because everytime I am at the desk she comes up and pushes me out the way which really pisses me off!! I told her I was sorry in a sarcastic way (sarcasm seems to be what these ppl understand) but I just dont know how to approach her, being a mild mannered sort of person as myself who doesnt like confrontation.
Really feel like some of these ppl are just plain rude to me and think they can get away with it but especially her. But the way she says things sometimes, it really does feel like plain old fashioned jealously as I am young and she is a dried up old dragon of a woman who is always miserable and moaning. There have been other occurances of her rudeness but I wont go into them- I mostly try to not talk to her-not even say hi though she does to me. Sometimes, its like she is trying to provoke me.
Please advise- this incident really upset me today and now I just want to look for another job- I have never been spoken to like this in any work place, the way these ppl talk to me!!

[postie222]

Ask a friend or manager to speak to her, and get it to stop. You could try have a clear the air meeting with your manager if they are understanding. Last resort ring the bullying helpline and ask for advice. Do not let them get you down, good luck

[mojothefishmo]

Hi
I just feel like a need a bit of advice because I dont know how to handle certain ppl- I have been having trouble with this one woman who I have worked with since we both started 2 years ago and 9 times out of 10 it feels like she is blantantly trying to undermine me and belittle me and its worse when she does it in front of other ppl.

Now, I have no qualms with anyone, I work very hard and try to polite and pleasant to everyone but I feel like this woman and in fact all the women treat me differently (do get lots of male attention and always being chatted up- even by some managers!! plus I am a lot younger than them too and they all have families and I am pretty well single) but particularly this one woman who I really feel has had it in for me since day one. There have even been times when I have helped her out on her deliveries if I saw her struggle so she could get done quicker but she really is so impossible to get along with.
Ironically though, everyone seems to like her and think she is a character.
Anyway, there was an instance this morning where I was talking to someone behind the enquiry desk and she comes along and replies by saying "come on woman I havent got all day"
then replies by saying " I dont mind you chatting as long as you move aside!"(like she owns the place and hasnt she ever heard of excuse me??!!) Which to my anoyance made everyone there laugh, I really felt like giving her a mouthful at that comment because everytime I am at the desk she comes up and pushes me out the way which really pisses me off!! I told her I was sorry in a sarcastic way (sarcasm seems to be what these ppl understand) but I just dont know how to approach her, being a mild mannered sort of person as myself who doesnt like confrontation.
Really feel like some of these ppl are just plain rude to me and think they can get away with it but especially her. But the way she says things sometimes, it really does feel like plain old fashioned jealously as I am young and she is a dried up old dragon of a woman who is always miserable and moaning. There have been other occurances of her rudeness but I wont go into them- I mostly try to not talk to her-not even say hi though she does to me. Sometimes, its like she is trying to provoke me.
Please advise- this incident really upset me today and now I just want to look for another job- I have never been spoken to like this in any work place, the way these ppl talk to me!!

Believe me Emma i know exactley what your going through ,im going though the same with a work colleague and its seriously getting me down ,i took advise from a senier manager and im keeping a diary of anything i class as harrassment be from him or the manager who is supposed to support me
Once i get enough evidence i will be putting a grievence in against both the work colleague and the unhelpful manager
Hope this helps and please dont get down there not worth it :)

[walkertom]

Diary entries are a good answer.

Keep your cool and even though I'm not the best at that, it's good advice. Rise above petty jibes, but don't be afraid to say things like "What do you mean by that?" It's often the case that a bully thinks they can make jokes at your expense, which dry up quickly if asked politely for an explanation.

Your politeness will be a useful asset if it comes to official statements. The diary will allow you to record every jibe without lowering your own standards. Any pattern will quickly become obvious, especially if you note witnesses etc.

Hopefully other readers can point you in the right direction for dealing with unwanted behaviour too.

Chin up.

[arnold cheshire]

Hi
I just feel like a need a bit of advice because I dont know how to handle certain ppl- I have been having trouble with this one woman who I have worked with since we both started 2 years ago and 9 times out of 10 it feels like she is blantantly trying to undermine me and belittle me and its worse when she does it in front of other ppl.

Now, I have no qualms with anyone, I work very hard and try to polite and pleasant to everyone but I feel like this woman and in fact all the women treat me differently (do get lots of male attention and always being chatted up- even by some managers!! plus I am a lot younger than them too and they all have families and I am pretty well single) but particularly this one woman who I really feel has had it in for me since day one. There have even been times when I have helped her out on her deliveries if I saw her struggle so she could get done quicker but she really is so impossible to get along with.
Ironically though, everyone seems to like her and think she is a character.
Anyway, there was an instance this morning where I was talking to someone behind the enquiry desk and she comes along and replies by saying "come on woman I havent got all day"
then replies by saying " I dont mind you chatting as long as you move aside!"(like she owns the place and hasnt she ever heard of excuse me??!!) Which to my anoyance made everyone there laugh, I really felt like giving her a mouthful at that comment because everytime I am at the desk she comes up and pushes me out the way which really pisses me off!! I told her I was sorry in a sarcastic way (sarcasm seems to be what these ppl understand) but I just dont know how to approach her, being a mild mannered sort of person as myself who doesnt like confrontation.
Really feel like some of these ppl are just plain rude to me and think they can get away with it but especially her. But the way she says things sometimes, it really does feel like plain old fashioned jealously as I am young and she is a dried up old dragon of a woman who is always miserable and moaning. There have been other occurances of her rudeness but I wont go into them- I mostly try to not talk to her-not even say hi though she does to me. Sometimes, its like she is trying to provoke me.
Please advise- this incident really upset me today and now I just want to look for another job- I have never been spoken to like this in any work place, the way these ppl talk to me!!

why dont you ask to do another walk which is out of the way of this woman ie in another room on a different van etc i hope it goes well

[demon]

sounds daft but give her back what she gives you and do it infront of your work mates too

[stokes11eg]

Just remember an old but tue saying. 'In trying to make a folo of others, a man makes a bigger fool of himself' and it;s true! If you can just pretend not to hear her, and she will soon stop!

[TeeferTiger]

I agree. Remain polite, ask for an explanation in a polite way, don't rise to the bait and keep a diary.

[johnnyp]

http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... 36&t=30376" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[andy2007]

Ask a friend or manager to speak to her, and get it to stop. You could try have a clear the air meeting with your manager if they are understanding. Last resort ring the bullying helpline and ask for advice. Do not let them get you down, good luck

That's good advice. It could potentially be a misguided attempt at humerous banter (the laughter from your colleagues would reinforce that), and a quiet word by a friend, Rep, or Manager, could set her straight. But if that fails, then start keeping a diary, and then put in a grevance. Above all: don't let her get you down. I know that's easier said than done. But if this IS actually an attempt to upset and belittle you. Then getting upset will be exactly the response she's looking for. Try not to give her the satisfaction.

Good luck!