TV Sitcom - Help Needed

[MisterSitter]

A friend of mine is a writer and is currently working on a TV sitcom that features a Postman. I'm helping him collect funny stories and anecdotes about the day to day life of a Postman and am asking for your funniest and most memorable moments in the job.
Anything is useful, it doesn't need to be War and Peace, just a brief outline of what happened.
Either post your stories here or PM me.
Thank you,
Si

[sevenandseven]

And the fee for helping to write a TV sitcom will be????

[MisterSitter]

And the fee for helping to write a TV sitcom will be????

Are you American?

[POSTMAN]

Make sure the site gets a mention!!
Also see the link for some links...
http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ?f=1&t=886" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[TrueBlueTerrier]

You might find some material in this old thread http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... unny#p2365" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[MisterSitter]

Thank you.

[surreymonkey]

Here is a funny story. Apparently with the world worried about global warming and trying to cut carbon emissions, a plan has been implemented within Royal Mail to dispense with bicycles as a mode of transport and replace them with motor vans. Possibly a bit too outlandish for a sitcom.

[woofwoof]

the best xmas tip i got was a bloke came out said merry chrimbo posty went in his pocket pulled out a chunk of dope bit a lump off put it in my hand and walked back in

[MisterSitter]

Make sure the site gets a mention!!
Also see the link for some links...
http://www.royalmailchat.co.uk/communit ... ?f=1&t=886" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Thanks for that, will defo make sure this site is credited.

[Eric Cantona]

Here is a funny one. Royal Mail changed the name to consignia it never got off the ground then it went back to Royal Mail, The yanks will kill themselfs laughing at that!

[krussel]

One xmas an old miserable postie got called back to a lady waving a fiver "postie postie" she called. So he walked about 20 houses back with his best strained smile and she says "thanks for popping back, this is for the milkman its his xmas tip, his float is parked behind your van"

One of our flyers once shot out early one monday whilst it was still dark and was delivering along a lane jumping over fences as he went. Hop, hop SPLASH One of his customers had dug a fish pond over the weekend


There are loads of stuff like that on here if you search.

[wiganpostie]

One time, I was walking up someone's path toward their front door, when the door opened. The owner of the house emerged, and as I extended my arm to give him his mail, he said "If they are bills, you can take them back."

[cyclemech1]

One time, I was walking up someone's path toward their front door, when the door opened. The owner of the house emerged, and as I extended my arm to give him his mail, he said "If they are bills, you can take them back."

Never happened to me!

[smokerjim]

Try and find a drama from a few years back ( about 4 or 5 years ), called Sorted, there were a few moments of comedy in there, but what was laugh out loud funny was the idea that postmen's bags are so light they can be tossed around like bags of crisps, or the job is one where you can go to the pub till losing time, yet still be up for a 5am start....I laughed so much I almost cracked a smile

Anyway, a common thing is making people jump as they open the door & see me waiting to hand their mail over, or the office nicknames ( some very weird and wonderful ones, for odd reasons - I'll PM a few to you if you want ), or even the office wind ups ( PM again if you want them ), or people getting caught relieving themselves in gardens and finding out they've been spotted, when the manager collars them on their return to the office ( 3.5 hours and no toilet facilities is no fun, especially if you have a dose of Eartha Kitts ) getting caught out by the weather changing half way through ( shirtsleeves in torrential rain, sweaty stormproof coat in blazing sun ), trying to raise a smile after the umpteenth repetition of unfunny jokes ( "Wahey, it's postman Twat!" "If it's bill's you can keep 'em!" etc, etc ).

And on a more cycnical note is the fact that RM has not been taken to court by trading standards for describing anyone over Operational Postal Grade ( that's a postman to you ) as a "manager"....they can rarely manage to find their arse in the dark with both hands, a torch and a map!

I don't mean to sound angry, tired, cynical and hate filled....but I am so that's how it comes out.

[beanmuncha]

Walking across someone's lawn in 5 inches of snow, to be told off cause she put a new lawn down in the spring!!

To have a Health & Safety brief about the platform and being careful then 10mins later the H&S plonker falling off it!

delivering a BT broadband box to a woman who said she's glad it arrived cause BT are coming out today, i asked what kind of computer she had? she said i haven't bought one yet! i really had to hold my tongue and walk away.

to see a van drive off with it's back doors open and the mail fly out the back.

to lock the keys inside a collection van with live mail, crow bars are handy tools.