How much sex related items pass through the post daily?

[Sci_Dog]

There was a post on here yesterday about items in a 'Bon Prix' catalogue. The items wouldn't of been out of place in an Ann Summers catalogue. This got me thinking.....

Just what percent of stuff that passes through the postal system daily is sex related?

Catalogues, clothes, toys, magazines, DVDs, clothes/linergie etc

Would you include lads mags like FHM, Maxim, Nuts etc etc?

[razor]

My mate had a burst packet with a vibrator in it It was like a giant tongue and was called 'the licker'.

He didn't know what to do as it was in a big packet envelope and it unstuck itself on delivery, he was dreading knocking on the door with the packet open and ended up sealing it up by wrapping lazzy bands round it

When he knocked on and old dear opened the door and said 'oh not another one' We reckon it must have been for her daughter.

[Dushku2309]

I had a packet which one of the drivers recognised purely by the packaging and label - it was for a divorcee on my walk. Naturally, the gum on the envelope gave way and the contents were exposed for all too see *ahem*. Inside was a vibrator with flowers on ! and a small item that looked like a thumb and finger thingy!! Of course, I've not looked at the woman in the same way again and now she get s an extra big smile when i see her :)

[POSTMAN]

I've had a dildo which kept turning itself on,you haven't lived as a postie if you haven't had one of them.
Porn DVD's which was not packaged properly.

[dejavu]

One of the lads in our office gets packages on his round to deliver to a guys house all the time. Then one day one came and it had been torn open. Turns out the fella is ordering womans sexy lingurie

[Sci_Dog]

One of the lads in our office gets packages on his round to deliver to a guys house all the time. Then one day one came and it had been torn open. Turns out the fella is ordering womans sexy lingurie

Ha! I used to deliver to this grotty middle aged man who lived alone. He used to order a blow up doll every now and again! Then a few days after he got it he was getting 'Silkies' tights delivered! Dunno if they was for him or the doll!

[uprising95]

[krussel]

Used to get loads of dodgy videos coming through the lads knew all the return address labels. I think the internet has killed a lot of it now.

Not porn but the best ever was about ten years ago when a women on my round had one of those sexy makeover photo sessions done for hubby.
I guess they are expensive because she didn’t pay all the bill and they kept sending reminders, which she returned as refused.

Anyway they then sent a letter with a small sticker picture of her in a see-through baby doll on the front.
Blimey she looked good for a mother of three. I think she settled up pretty quickly as I never delivered another.

[Stormproof]

I delivered a 'package' to a guy once, lets say it would'nt look out of place on a horse. It fell out of the box whilst sorting, by the time I delivered it it must've had at least 200 sets of finger prints on it, got passed round the office, just looking at it made a lot of peoples eyes water.

[krussel]

I delivered a 'package' to a guy once, lets say it would'nt look out of place on a horse. It fell out of the box whilst sorting, by the time I delivered it it must've had at least 200 sets of finger prints on it, got passed round the office, just looking at it made a lot of peoples eyes water.

Yeah i ve seen the pass the parcel bit. I rem once we had a wierd contraption like a vibrater which had a hole at the base I guess you both got the fun

One silly bugger thought it was funny to stick it on his forehead like a darlek It was a laugh until he tried to pull it off and couldn’t. They had to prise it off in the end there were tears in his eyes and it left a perfect red ring on his nut.

[Thorby Bislam]

A true story from a RCC sort centre I worked at when I first joined RM. One night shift someone heard a buzzing noise emanating from a stack of parcels. This was when the IRA were still planting bombs all over the place so no chances were taken. The building was evacuated and the police bomb squad called in. You've guessed it already. The buzzing was from a vibrator that had somehow turned on.

[Sci_Dog]

A true story from a RCC sort centre I worked at when I first joined RM. One night shift someone heard a buzzing noise emanating from a stack of parcels. This was when the IRA were still planting bombs all over the place so no chances were taken. The building was evacuated and the police bomb squad called in. You've guessed it already. The buzzing was from a vibrator that had somehow turned on.

The IRA made vibrators? LoL

[Mr Blonde]

I love how these things get sent in discreet packaging yet the return address makes it obvious. I think one is the Gold Group (the ex-owners of Birmingham City) which has a RH postcode or around the Surrey area and are quite distinctive. One of our guys lives on my walk and knew the girl that was getting the one package that I pointed out to him.

Another firm is lovehoney which has a trading estate address in Bath.

All good filthy fun!

[Sci_Dog]

I love how these things get sent in discreet packaging yet the return address makes it obvious. I think one is the Gold Group

[jaylime]

The two best ones for me,not long after i started one of the old chaps had a parcel with the wrapping well and truly ripped to pieces.Inside was a penis pump,the photo on the front was a big black geezer with it hanging off his hampton.The funny thing is the bloke it was for was about ninety.Another was christmas eve a few years ago i had a parcel that had been damaged and you could see inside,it contained a massive strap on.I knocked on the door and a big fat knacker answered,you should have seen the smile on his face.I just thought happy christmas mate you will be walking like john wayne in the morning.