SATIRE - SKIPS AND ALLEYWAYS TO BE HIT BY LONDON MAIL STRIKE

[TrueBlueTerrier]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/busi ... 906021796/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED FURTHER IF YOU CANT LAUGH AT YOURSELF. YOU HAVE BEEN ADVISED


A POSTAL strike across London could leave the capital's skips and alleyways with dangerously low levels of discarded mail, it was claimed last night.

Business leaders have warned that without the weekly haul of 3000 tonnes of cards, bills and letters, the skips may have to be used for old sofas and bits of mouldy carpet.

A spokesman for the London Chamber of Commerce said: "Business will grind to halt if mail is left sitting in sorting offices instead of in a skip, bin or urine-soaked doorway."

The Royal Mail said job cuts in the capital were necessary after a 10% drop in letters caused by most people having their redundancy notices handed to them in person by some gormless shitwit from personnel.

Negotiations broke down earlier this week after the Royal Mail rejected a demand from the Communication Workers Union to give delivery staff at least two hours a day for backroom poker games and stolen birthday present auctions.

Meanwhile the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has warned a strike would leave thousands of inner-city chaffinches without the gas bills and bank statements they need to build their nests.

A spokesman said: "These birds could die out unless they have the necessary materials provided by workshy postmen on their way to the pub."

The strike, due next week, was backed overwhelmingly in a postal vote. A CWU spokesman said: "It took a while for all of the ballots to come in. We eventually found most of them in the boot of a burnt out Skoda Fabia in Deptford."

The CWU said striking workers will picket delivery offices across the capital until they get bored and wander off for a bacon sandwich and a 10-minute w**k .

[DGP1]

I really resent that..................................................it's never taken me 10 minutes to have a w***

[Pinky 1]

Can i assume you eat your bacon buttie in the other eight minutes ?

[BELIAL]

Yet another management slight of hand; the true meaning of longs and shorts and extended delivery becomes more clear.
Hope Brothermagrew will post the relevant safety guidelines ,the health implications of such prolonged activity are awful(RSI ;carpal tunnel syndrome) Not one mention of risk assessment , the need for regular breaks , or the provision of safety goggles. Remember, always look after your helmet and make sure it is correctly adjusted , if it sustains a significant impact, replace it immediately

[DGP1]

Can i assume you eat your bacon buttie in the other eight minutes ?

I eat my bacon buttie during

[BELIAL]

BLT with a dollop of mayo. Yum yum hungry now

[DGP1]

BLT with a dollop of mayo. Yum yum hungry now

hmmmmmmmmmmmm salty

[BELIAL]

I'm just glad you left your gherkin out of it

[brothermagrew]

Safety guidelines are don't do it because you'll go BLXVP can't see the keyboard and if you must then two hands are better than one (Manual Handling Regs)

[jafferpants]

[quote="TrueBlueTerrier"]http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/busi ... 906021796/

PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED FURTHER IF YOU CANT LAUGH AT YOURSELF.





Meanwhile the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has warned a strike would leave thousands of inner-city chaffinches without the gas bills and bank statements they need to build their nests.

A spokesman said: "These birds could die out unless they have the necessary materials provided by workshy postmen on their way to the pub."


Whoever thought up this bit was obviously RAVEN MAD.

[jockstrapp]

And here's me thinking it was only ..................M A N A G E R S..................that were w@nkers

[kay_thebigbird]

Can i assume you eat your bacon buttie in the other eight minutes ?

I eat my bacon buttie during

I hope you wash your hands afterwards bacon butties can be a bit greasy.Let alone the other thing you do in 2 minutes.

[BELIAL]

Can i assume you eat your bacon buttie in the other eight minutes ?

I eat my bacon buttie during

I hope you wash your hands afterwards bacon butties can be a bit greasy.Let alone the other thing you do in 2 minutes.

Two minutes? You've swallowed the propaganda

[dvbuk55]

Can i assume you eat your bacon buttie in the other eight minutes ?

I eat my bacon buttie during

I hope you wash your hands afterwards bacon butties can be a bit greasy.Let alone the other thing you do in 2 minutes.

Two minutes? You've swallowed the propaganda

Yeah right - two minutes - that must include the fag and coffee

[k979aaa]

Can i assume you eat your bacon buttie in the other eight minutes ?

I eat my bacon buttie during

I hope you wash your hands afterwards bacon butties can be a bit greasy.Let alone the other thing you do in 2 minutes.

Two minutes i do the job properly you know!. Don't forget the testical checks (just like van checks in the morning) one two check for lumps :lfo & :cfo if everything seams alright don't forget to give the big one eyed monster a good shake :mfo by the neck!. It took me more than two minutes just doing that!.