offsick - exploiting me

[TrueBlueTerrier]

L Tommo, I have just caught sight of a leaked internal memo from RM HQ, setting out new company policy that will be briefed out next week:

It has come to our attention that some of our people are not currently in possession of the full use of all limbs. This presents the business with a further opportunity to reduce costs by trimming one of our biggest overheads, which is of course, payroll. Naturally, when we employed you, it should have been made clear that all pensionable pay is granted on the basis that you commit to providing the full quota of functioning arms and legs, namely two of each (although this requirement may, at our discretion, be waived in the event of pre-existing medical conditions). Therefore, those reporting for duty with less than full working use of all limbs will in future have their pay reduced by 25% for each non-functioning part.

If managers are to be included in this would there be any reduction if they suffered a head injury which affected their cognitive and organisational skills, or is it more likely that they would receive a bonus for having them removed without cost to Royal Mail.

(its a joke)

[BELIAL]

[k979aaa]

L Tommo, I have just caught sight of a leaked internal memo from RM HQ, setting out new company policy that will be briefed out next week:

It has come to our attention that some of our people are not currently in possession of the full use of all limbs. This presents the business with a further opportunity to reduce costs by trimming one of our biggest overheads, which is of course, payroll. Naturally, when we employed you, it should have been made clear that all pensionable pay is granted on the basis that you commit to providing the full quota of functioning arms and legs, namely two of each (although this requirement may, at our discretion, be waived in the event of pre-existing medical conditions). Therefore, those reporting for duty with less than full working use of all limbs will in future have their pay reduced by 25% for each non-functioning part.

If managers are to be included in this would there be any reduction if they suffered a head injury which affected their cognitive and organisational skills, or is it more likely that they would receive a bonus for having them removed without cost to Royal Mail.

(its a joke)

The best that medical science has to offer those at the top who suffer from lack of organisational skills was developed by the french the GUILLOTINE off with their heads :cfo & :lfo .

[zaphod]

If you go down the Illness retirement route, then it will not affect your work record if going to another occupation. Medical retirement, though, would.

Was your injury done at work? Is there a record?

I will say times are achanging certainly at our Mail centre - I might say because of my impetus - with regards the way the business treats , the ill, sick, carers and the bereaved, locally, for the better. The facts and figures attitude is out, and the empathetic and very helpful attitude is in.

Hope this spreads.

[Carnoustie]

I think it speaks volumes about some of the stupid directives that managers have been forced from on high to try to implement, that a 'memo' I made up as a joke could actually be believed to be real

Just shows how much cr@p we sometimes have to tolerate in trying to earn a living