Royal Mail promises to keep long parcel queues

[TrueBlueTerrier]

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THE traditional 40-minute wait to collect a parcel will be unaffected by Royal Mail privatisation, it has been claimed.

Queuing out of the door to pick up something ordered from Groupon is consistently voted Britain’s favourite way to spend a Saturday morning.

Rail engineer Bill McKay said: “Finally getting that little red rectangle to the counter, only for the mardy lady to say your parcel is still on the van – you can’t beat that feeling.

“And thanks to internet shopping, home working and general paranoia, in ten years’ time parcel depot queues will be the only places we see other humans.”

31-year-old Emma Bradford said: “It’s that excited anticipation wondering what on earth you bought off Amazon when you were drunk.

“Also without parcel collection when would you ever get to visit an obscure industrial estate with a snooker club and paint factory.”

Business Secretary Vince Cable said: “Any improvements privatisation may bring to the service will be strictly for business customers.

“Meanwhile the public can look forward to even more time listening to a man explain that Trixibelle334 is just his eBay name and that’s why it says ‘Graham’ on his ID.

Cable refused to confirm that thousands of new Royal Mail investors had received cards through the door saying “Householder not present, shares left in wheelie bin.”

[Shambles]

Hahaha brilliant!

[UnhappyGremlin]

Quality.

And, in time, will probably be proven true.

[Lounge Lizard]

Rail engineer Bill McKay said: “Finally getting that little red rectangle to the counter, only for the mardy lady to say your parcel is still on the van – you can’t beat that feeling".
'Mardy' is a word I've not heard for a long time.